Mental War

Chapter 1

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* Stupid alarm clock.

I roll over groggily. I got zero sleep last night. 

Damned voices everywhere- kept me awake.

Where are they? What do they want from me?

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Yesterday...

"Hurry up Alex! You going to make us late for your dietitian appointment." My mom yells from the car. 

"We don't have time for this! I still need to pat you down for weights." She rolls the window up and I roll my eyes.

Ever since the mishap at my most recent appointment where I rigged the scale with extra weight from weights I have to get patted down like at an airport before we leave. I'm supposed to actually be gaining weight, not pretending to be with weights.

"That was ONE time mom! ONE TIME." She holds a lot of grudges.

"Alex, I don't care if it was only once, you're still are underweight, barely eating, and I don't want to be lied to any longer." I sighed, buckling up in the passenger seat next to her. 

"I hate the lies too." I say and we begin our 2 hour drive to Iowa City where my dietitian is.

**2 HOURS LATER**

"Alex! How are you today?" I am instantly bombarded by Jo Ellen and her disgustingly gross long hair as soon as we ring the outpatient bell. My therapy appointments take place in Iowa Cities children's hospital, I came here even before the appointments for inpatient. 

There is a difference.

Inpatient- You can't leave the hospital for about 2-3 months until you're recovered, eating, at your goal weight, and aren't showing anorexic signs anymore.

Outpatient- This is what comes after inpatient. You think it's all over but then they tell you you're going to be coming back every 2 weeks to have checkup therapy appointments. So, I have to continue seeing dumb Jo Ellen for as long as it takes to convince her I'm fine. Which, probably will take awhile since I rigged her scale last time I was here.

"Erm- Fine I guess. The usual." I sit down in the chair across from the witch like figure. She resembles an ugly witch so much. "How are you?" I always do this. Try to make the subject about her.

She never falls for it.

"So Alex, did your mom pat you down like she was supposed to before this?" She raises an accusing eyebrow at me. Bitch. 

"Yes she did. I'm really sorry about last time.- you weren't supposed to find out." I mumble the last part under my breath.

"Alex what happened to you during inpatient? It was to help you- instead it made you obnoxious and rude!" Jo Ellen looks at me with her wide and droopy, witch-like eyes. 

Some therapist. She just called me obnoxious. 

"I don't know, you tell me. YOU were MY therapist the whole time I was inpatient." I fire back at the old hag. She gets on my nerves so bad and I'm about to storm out of here.

She sighs, "Alex I'm sorry, I just want you to be better, you're not obnoxious, you're sick." 

SICK MY ASS; I ATE CAKE YESTERDAY

"I'm not sick! My weight is fine! You insist I am still underweight and sick because you want me to be actually fat. You tell my mother I'm still anorexic- she HATES me for it. For EVERYTHING!" I slam my palms on the table. 

That's when it all started.

Little bitch witch, kick her in her dick

"What? What did you say?" I turn to Jo Ellen who goes from angry to confused. "I didn't say anything. You just got done yelling at me." She scowls crossing her arms at me.

It wasn't her, it was me, it was us, him, her, they, we...

"Alex, we really need to talk abut other things right now. Please no more fighting."

Jo Ellen tries but fails to get my attention.

"Alex? Are you even listening to me?"

She's so idiotic, leave her. Run to the inpatient unit. Let all the wackos out.

"Alex?" 

All is quiet for a moment.

Then I bolt. I'm at the door. I'm running from Jo Ellen. I'm in the inpatient unit. The mental ones look at me confused, then they realize.

Freedom. 

Before I even think about what I'm doing I begin screaming at them, "Run! Get out! Escape!" They all bolted for the exit.

I hear codes being called, staff members running, a bitch I recognize from when I stayed here named Carrie (staff worker) is pushed down, punched, and kicked by an anger issued patient. 

How all of this is actually happening, is beyond me. When I was here they always handled this stuff so well.

quick! someones gonna get you! HIDE! hahahahahahhaha

All at once I realize what I'd just done. I turn and run. I have to get out of here.

"Alex! Stop! Get back here!" Jo Ellen yells to me. She tries to run after me but is out of shape and fat so she doesn't get very much closer to me.

I turn a sharp corner and head down elevator E.

I see my moms car parked at the entrance.

I climb in.

She turns the key.

We couldn't have gotten out of there any sooner.

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