A Good Kind of Different [Destiel]

Chapter 24

It's been two years.

Dean had since fallen in love with a woman.  

A local girl named Jo Harvelle.

They were to be wed today.

I wasn't invited.

I was wasting away.

Skinny, for I hardly ever ate. You could see my ribcage through my shirt. 

Tired, for I hardly ever slept. My eyes were bloodshot and purple underneath. 

Lonely, for I had nothing. Sam kept me up to date with news... But he always did all the talking. 

Antisocial, for I rarely left the house.

But I was going to, today.

My best friend was getting married.

And I was going.

Sam said it was iladvised. But I wouldn't miss it for the world.

It was an outdoor wedding.

I sat myself outside, underneath a tree, running my fingers in the grass. I watched the bees buzz around while I was waiting.

The music sounded and I watched from afar.

I saw a shadow was cast over me. An all too familar one.

The shoulders and chin were very recognizable for me.

He spoke.

"Hello, brother."

"... Michael." I said, trying to stay courteous.  

"Whatcha doing?"

"Watching my friend's wedding."

"That's odd... I didn't think you HAD friends."

"..."

They kissed just down the hill. 

That could've been me. 

That was supposed to be me.

"Well?"

I remained wordless.

"You know... You shouldn't be so upset over him. It could've been worse," He smirked. "The scripture reads; "

It then clicked in my mind.

It was them.

My own brothers. They did this. They hurt Dean. And they took him away from me. Emotions, feelings, memories pulsated through me.

"Levictus 20:13: 'If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.' And you know how daddy is about the scripture..." He was smug and grinning. "Of course, I had help. All of us contributed except for the little weasle, Gabriel. And of course, Lucy didn't come out to play..." he sneered.

I got up.

"Awww... wittle Cassie gonna hurt me?" He laughed.

And I lunged at him, struck him and broke his nose.

I hurried back to my place and sat at the table. And that's where I am right now.

I guess this is how I'm saying goodbye.

I'm sorry, Dean. I never meant for this to happen to you. It's my fault. I didn't warn you. I wasn't there to fight with you. I wasn't in the hospital bed next to yours. It should have been me. And it's my fault. And I cannot live with this.

I'm sorry.

And I know what it's like to be hopeless. To know the love of your life is waking up with the wrong person everyday. To know it's not right... 

But all at the same time... 

You hope they are happy. Even if that means it's not with you.

Freedom is a length of rope. And I ought to hang myself with it.

End

(additional ending in next chapter)