subtracting everything

26 4 1
                                    

dying is the easy part.
when your heart stops pumping
and your chest no longer rises and falls in sync with those around you, you're dead.

when you're dead, it's easy.
even when you're not alive, others keep you living.
you're stored in their minds; they share stories and memories of you. they think about you in every waking moment. you're remembered.

being dead is easy.
it's losing yourself that's hard.

you see, losing yourself is like subtracting everything. a kind of minus-all. zero degrees kelvin.

when you lose yourself, you stop enjoying the taste of coffee creamer at 7 a.m. because you aren't even motivated enough to get out of bed.
when you lose yourself, you stop caring about the way your auburn hair falls in front of your face when he's around because- surprise- he's not around anymore.
when you lose yourself, you stop wanting to die because you don't even want to be remembered.

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