Shelter [Sterek] BoyxBoy

Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

Derek’s POV

   He was the world’s biggest idiot. The nastiest and worse scum on the earth. And the worst part is that, Derek Hale hasn’t felt like this in a long time. So he was surprised at how cruel the emotions were to him. How real it was. It came at him hard like a boulder and knocked him to his feet. He couldn’t get up; the emotions were too strong and held him down with a relentless force. He was paralyzed with his own stupidity. He couldn’t do anything; just watch himself slowly curl into a downfall. His downfall.

    He was ashamed of what he did to Stiles. His heartbroken face has been imprinted on him like a brand. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. He also couldn’t stop the pity he felt for the boy. He didn’t purposely mean to avoid Stiles for these pass months. Well, his intentions didn’t start out that way. He planned on hanging out with Stiles and help him heal from his horrible situation from, Danny. But things changed when he started to feel for him.

   These feelings grew and grew so much, that they bombarded Derek. He didn’t understand where they have come from. Derek was certain that he had no feelings for Stiles. For heaven’s sake, they loathed each other. It was obvious in their constant bickering and their glares. But when Derek was helping Stiles with Danny, something inside him changed. His heart started to warm for the boy. When Stiles wasn’t looking at him, he would blush deeply. When he was close to him, Derek would shiver in delight. He wanted Stiles but knew he couldn’t have him.

   He deserved better. Someone that wasn’t always moody and someone that was human. Derek knew Stiles was a bit unnerved about him being a werewolf. Their second encounter together, the boy admitted to him that he was scared of him. At the time, Derek smirked because Stiles had every reason to be afraid of him. He was alpha and every day he was getting stronger. Now he realizes how foolish he was. Being an alpha did not make him stronger as a person. In fact, it weakened him tremendously.

   His decision making skills before were already poor, but as an alpha they’re poorer. He was a mess. Turning teens into wolfs because of what? Loneliness? Because, he needed somebody else to share his throne with? No, Derek Hale was always lonely and that’s the hardcore truth. Nobody wanted to be around him because of his brooding behavior. Derek couldn’t help that he brooded. It was in his nature too.

  The guy has been through a lot, you know. He’s surprised he hasn’t gone around killing people. Derek knew how to grab ahold of his emotions but right now he’s doing a horrid job of it. He had to get a grip of himself but how can he do that when his whole world is falling apart? He hurt Stiles and he feels like shit. He wanted to call him, to apologize for what he had done. But every time he picked up his phone, he would put it back down. He was afraid to hear his voice on the other line. His beaten down voice and the tears that were undoubtedly in them. Derek had caused those tears. He had caused the pain.

   The best thing he can do is stay away from Stiles. Just erase him from his mind. But that was difficult to do when you have someone constantly reminding you of him. Anastasia. She was Derek’s booty call. Her sex has been taking his thoughts off of Stiles. But afterwards, she would speak of him. She wondered about him and questioned Derek who was he. Derek would shrug her questions away, hoping she would drop them. But she wouldn’t. She was determined to know information about Stiles.

   Derek didn’t know what to do. He contemplated telling her the truth about Stiles. About what he actually meant to him but he hesitated. Because, something wasn’t right with Anastasia. Every time she spoke of Stiles, she would get this nasty and evil gleam in her eyes. It sort of terrified Derek. He had never seen her look that way. It was like she was plotting to ruin somebody’s Christmas.

   There was also the fact, that Derek was a private person. He felt like he didn’t owe Anastasia any information on Stiles, because he was his. Stiles was his private life. Derek preferred to keep it that way until he could sort out his feelings. Then maybe…eventually he would be revealing about Stiles.

   He sighed. That will be forever. At the rate Derek is pacing he won’t come to a conclusion about Stiles until he’s died of old age. But he wants honesty and taking him time will present that. He didn’t want to rush things and Derek felt like Stiles was rushing things. When he told Derek, that he loved him, he was shocked.

   He didn’t actually think anyone was capable of such a thing. His parents loved him but not fully. They pretended to because they didn’t want to hurt his feelings. His uncle Peter only loved power and paid attention to Derek for a minute because he had it. Cora? She claims she loves him but Derek doesn’t believe it. He knows she hates him for what he has done.

   He’s afraid to open up to Stiles. Afraid for him to see the real him. When he said to, Stiles that he wasn’t interested in him, he was lying. He was interested, very interested. Beneath that interest, was terror of rejection. It’s no secret that Derek’s previous relationships are a wreck. He was tired of having his heart stomped on. So this time he did the stomping and stomped on Stiles heart.

  He had no other choice. It was either going to be him or him. It was a selfish thing to do. Stiles was just recovering from his pain with, Danny. Now his recovery is down the drain. He’s probably worse than before and it’s all Derek’s fault. He needs to make things right. That’s why he’s searching for Stiles. He cocked his ear to the air, and listened as his werewolf hearing started to kick in. He was listening for Stiles heartbeat, so he could track him down. Five minutes later he had found it. A frown discovered his lips and Derek’s own heart drummed fast. Stiles heartbeat was slow, close to death.

    Immediately, Derek took off. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t yet ready to see Stiles. It didn’t matter that he was responsible for his hurt. It didn’t matter if he was afraid. In that moment, all that mattered to him was Stiles. His safety and well-being. Stiles heartbeat had led Derek to Beacon Hills High school. From there it guided him to the boy’s restroom. Derek burst through the door and searched under the stalls for Stiles.

   It didn’t take long to find him. He was on the floor with a pool of blood surrounding around him. His eyes were half closed. Eyes tearing up, Derek bends down and saw the razor blade inches away from Stiles. He then had seen the large gash on his wrist.

  “Derek” Stiles says with sleep glued to his voice.

    Derek angled his blue eyes at him, disappointment reflecting in them. He had expected Stiles to be stronger, but he wasn’t. Like him he was falling, but his fall had the harder crash.

   “I’m sorry” mumbled Stiles and fell into unconscious.

     Derek then cried and swooped Stiles in his arms.

   “No, I’m sorry for letting you down”

A/N: So how was that? *wipes eyes* You guys wanted Derek’s POV so here it is.

   I’ll try to update soon. Remember don’t forget to vote for Sterek!

There's also a picture of that skank Anastasia on the side (;