It's Always Been Us

Chapter 3 Let it Ring

  How I felt within myself, it's like my blood has gone cold and black. I didn't want to be apart of this world anymore knowing I can never take back the air I used to breathe those fowl words. My body wants to break down and lose all control. I cant stop shaking its like I'm going to die any minute now.

  "Please calm down and tell me what happened," Leelu sits me down next to her on her bed. I breathe heavily. " I said something...to Samson. And... I don't think he will ever forgive me."

  She takes my hands into hers," I'm sure he will, what did you say to him?" I take my hands away and bring my arms around myself. I pace around the room, I pause for a moment, "I told him I hated him!" I shout. " He just kept pushing me and pushing me..." I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around.

  Leelu looks me in the eyes," don't worry about it. Your not the only one he pushes over the edge."

  I shake my head," I've gone too far this time..." I back up and walk out of the room. Walking down the corridor I start to feel dizzy.  Maybe it was all in my head, but I felt a part of me drift away. I remember when we were younger, Samson and me would get into fights often. It was over the simplest things, and every once in a while the words we passed to each other was like a knife to the back. We wouldn't let each other bleed out for very long though.

  One time Samson became angry at me for not meeting with him at our cherry blossom tree. "Where were you? We always meet here after breakfast!" My small 9 year old stature seemed fragile at the most.

  "I had asked Levi to give me a piano lesson... why are you so mad at me?" I never really understood how he acted around me. Its like one moment he was his normal cocky self and then the next he became someone I couldn't recognize.

  "Your so stupid sometimes, Malic!" Even that phrase was enough to wound me even just a little bit. After a while he apologized and somehow made it to all my randomly scheduled piano lessons with his dad. Levi helped me release all my emotions into a single instrument, that's how I chose to deal with most things.

(The music piece in the media is beautiful, I could see Levi playing this. It will help set the mood. 'Your Lie In April' inspired me.)

  I try to pull myself back to reality. I walk past a window and glance outside, its raining heavy and thunder claps through the air.  I find myself in front of Levi's office door, I listen from the outside and hear the piano playing again. I walk in quietly, making sure not to disturb his playing. I rest against the door and watch as Levi plays.

  I walk a little closer, listening to the music as it clashes with the thunder from the outside world. It sounds sad... it makes tears stream from my eyes. When Levi plays he puts so much emotion into it, he puts in his love and his anger. I can see the blue light of his soul scatter around him as his fingers dance across the keys in a delicate manner.

  Lighting crashes past the windows, making his aura seem much more stronger. I've only ever seen Levi play like this once before. The sound was much more painful back then though, now it just sounds like he is letting a part of himself go. I come up to him and sit beside him on the bench, he glances at me and stops for a few moments.

  He places my hands on the keys, "play with me..."

  I look down at my hands and play along with him, our hands cross paths every few riffs. We don't dare look at each other, he slows down the pace more and more until we eventually stop.

  He stands from the piano and looks down at me, "wipe those tears away and let it out." Levi walks to the back of the dark room and sits back in a chair, crossing his arms, and watches me intensely. His face illuminated only by the light that streaks through the window every so often.

  "Levi... I'm lost," I whisper. He keeps watching me closely, still not saying a word. I breathe in deep, trying to clear my head. I wipe the tears away as instructed. I place my hands on the keys and let my mind go blank.

(Here is Malic's piece. One of my favorites.)

  As I play I cant help but think of him, Samson ran through my mind as if it was a race track. I think back to all the times we fought, all the times we played our games. I sweat at the thought of losing him, the fear of him forgetting me.

  I play faster and faster, louder and more painful. I hope he hears this, I hope this song reaches him and maybe he will hear my plea for forgiveness. Maybe Samson will forgive me for my cruel words and we can go back to what we called 'normal'.

  Let it ring. Let it Ring.

  "Let it ring!" I play faster and faster. I can feel my emotions be let go, the light of red, blue, and yellow. I see the way he looks at Nifa, my blood boils at the vision in my head. But, the red light eventually fades away and I'm left playing slow. My frustration leaves me and I'm left there, resting on the piano with my head down. I watch as tears drip off my face and onto the sleek wood surface.

  "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I feel a presence behind me and turn to see Levi standing over me and a shadow hidden in the background by the door. I blink a few times," I wish he could have heard me... Samson I mean..."

  Levi lifts my chin up," I'm sure he did." I look at him in confusion but see out of the corner of my eye, the shadow moves into the light. I turn and my eyes go wide, "oh my god..." I cover mouth with my hand.

  Samson stands with a stoic look on his face, similar to his fathers. "I'll leave you two alone," Levi exits the room. Lighting cracks across the sky once more, I keep my chin down letting my curls fall past my face. It stays silent between us for what seems like years but was only for a few minutes.

  "I want to be completely honest with you, I didn't expect for you to ever say that to me..." I hear Samson mutter. I lift my head to look at him, " it really hurt me... but I cant ever hold a grudge against you," he says and walks closer to me. He takes my hand and pulls me off the bench bringing me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his torso and rest my head against his chest.

  "I don't hate you, I shouldn't have said that." I pull away a little bit and look up at his face, not a hint of anger now. Just pure relief and satisfaction written across him.

  Samson leans down a little bit and plants a kiss on my forehead. "I'm sorry for being such a jackass. I know your not jealous of Nifa, if anything I think she's jealous of you." My eyes go wide and he turns around and walks away.

  I'm left alone again, I want to scream to him, but I don't know what to scream. Its like he left me speechless all over again. But somehow I think he knows that, how I just want it to...

  Let it ring.