White Dress

6

© Bree Stonefield, 2013

White Dress

6.

Everyone stared at the bride who sat at the front row. Her shoulders were shaking; her hands were gripping into the skirt of her white dress. No sound was coming from her lips, but everyone could tell that she was barely holding it in.

Today was supposed to be their wedding day.

But instead, she was here at his funeral.

She refused to wear a black dress. She was screaming at everything and everyone until her throat felt raw because she wanted the white dress-goddammit, she needed the white dress. It was beautiful. It was strapless, the top clinging perfectly onto her upper side of her body, showing out just the right amount of curves that she had while the skirt flew out smoothly, spreading wide like a tutu skirt ballerinas wore, only much longer and almost reached her ankles. She even wore the veil to hide the dark circles around her tired eyes.

She was supposed to wear the white dress today, so she did.

Her hand was shaking, and the tears still hadn't stopped falling down. It had been two weeks, and it hadn't stopped. She wasn't sure if it would ever stop. The nights were lonely without him. The sheets were cold without his warmness radiating off his body. The bed was stiff without his arms circling around her waist. It was empty without his touch, his kisses, his voice, every part of him that she'd lost.

What was she supposed to do now without him? They were going to get married today. Today. But they weren't because he was gone. Not here, not anymore. She was alive but he wasn't-why was she alive? Why was she still here? What was she going to do now here when he wasn't?

What was she supposed to do with her life? They were supposed to build a life together. What about their children? What about spending the rest of her life with him?

With each ticking time, the pain only squeezed her heart tighter. A reminder that with each day that would come, she would have to spend it alone.

Why did it have to be this way? Everything was so perfect-too perfect. She had him and he had her and they had each other. But what now?

Her heart clenched. She was supposed to be here, in her white wedding dress, but not sitting at the front row but standing and walking down the aisle. He was supposed to be here, in his beautiful tuxedo, but not laying in a cold casket with his eyes closed but with a lively smile on his face as he stood to wait for the love of his life.

She stood up and walked toward where he was lying, ignoring the looks and the low whispers. She looked down and a fresh batch of tears flowed freely down her cheeks at the sight of him. He was so handsome, so beautiful even with his eyes closed. His skin looked almost flawless but too pale, his wrecked body perfectly hidden under the white tuxedo. He almost looked like he was alive and fine and was just sleeping, only his chest wasn't moving.

She sees him laying in the bed alone tonight
The only thing a touching him is a crack of light
Pieces of her hair are wrapped around and 'round his fingers
And he reaches for her side, for any sign of her that lingers

Shaking, she reached down for his hand, once warm but now cold as ice. Both her hands were wrapped around one of his cold hand, the glint of the diamond on her ring mocking the loss of her love today. She gently brought the cold fingers onto her lips, and kissed them softly, her lips lingering for a few seconds too long. She then set down his hand back to where it was sitting as the sobs were now loudly coming out of her lips. She couldn't hold it in anymore.

One of them bullets went straight for the jugular vein
There were people running a flash of light
Then everything changed
Nothing really matters in the end you know
All the worry is over
Don't be afraid for me my friend, one day we all fall down forever

Her fingers ran through his dark hair, a small, sad smile playing on her lips. Her fingers traced down his forehead, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his chins, and it rested on his chest. She laid her palm on his heart and longed for the familiar heartbeat to greet her but nothing was beating. Nothing was beating.

The wedding date was June just like any other bride
She loved him like no one before, it was good to be alive

She didn't care that her tears were falling onto his face. She didn't care that the people in the church were crying along with her. She didn't care that the priest was looking at her with sympathy and pity in his eyes.

But sometimes that can slip away as fast
As any fingers through your hands
So you let time forgive the past and go and make some other plans

She bended down so that her face was so close to his, and she turned to his ear and whispered brokenly. "I love you, Trent."

And you are not alone
Laying in the light

She closed her eyes, and kissed his forehead softly.

Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight

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fin.

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Song: (You Are) Not Alone by Patty Griffin. I do not own the beautiful song.

Thank you for reading this story c:

I wrote this to make myself feel better after hearing the news about Cory Monteith's death a few while ago. It's not perfect, and it's sad, but somehow it helped me that time. I was deeply affected by his death and somehow, writing this kind of helped me let go of the sadness of knowing that he wasn't here anymore. Also, the news/rumors about him and Lea's possible marriage kind of... hit me hard. This story was my way of dealing with the shock and pain.

I know this story has no actual "closure". Yes, this chapter is the end. But I wanted to write and finish it this way. I might be writing something later about these two characters, though. Maybe. Something longer, a continuation of this story or maybe an alternate version of it :)

Again, thank you for reading this. You don't know how much I appreciate your support c: If you want, you can check out some of my other stories that are relatively lighter and way "happier" than this story. Check out my profile to see the stories :)

- Bree