Hanging By a Thread | Scömìche MPreg COMPLETED

chapter five// barely alive

What's the most painful emotion to go through?

It's debatable.

Some say fear is the worst possible emotion. The constant paranoia that something is going to jump out behind you. Sometimes fear goes deeper than that. Sometimes it's fear that if you do one thing, everything will fall apart.

Some say guilt is the worst possible emotion. Say you have a suicidal friend, and one day they call you. They need to tell you that they're about to kill them self, and they need your help. You don't answer, and they end their own life. You figure it out and the constant feeling of guilt washes over you. You could've saved their life, but you didn't.

Some say loss is the worst possible emotion. Have you ever lost a person in your life, like your son or your mother, or someone else you're close to? That empty feeling in your heart when they're gone is loss.

Some say jealousy is the worst possible emotion. Unneeded jealousy is the worst, some add. Your friend is, say, wins a contest you were both attending. They didn't join just to annoy you, they joined because you were their friend and they felt it was their job to join along. You feel upset, but there's no reason.

But what is truly the worst emotion a human being an endure?

Once again, it's debatable.

Mitch didn't know what emotion he was feeling at the given movement, actually. He constantly felt as if he was going to throw up, but couldn't. He felt so guilty about not just going to the court in the first place, just taking care of everything and never having to deal with this. He felt like he has just lost his son, like he was dead, but he was still alive. Mitch was under the constant paranoia and fear that Brady wasn't safe.

However, he wasn't jealous.

There was no true reason to be jealous, because he knew for a fact that Brady wouldn't like Scott. Scott was terrible to Mitch, and Brady knew of this. There was no reason to be jealous, because even a million miles away, Brady was still his baby.

"Mitch. Put the bottle down, please. That's your second one, you're going to get alcohol poisoning," Kirstin snatched the wine bottle from her friend, setting it down. He didn't look drunk at all, he just looked sad and it hurt her so much because she couldn't do anything about it.

"I could drive and have no issues right now. Please just let me get drunk, I don't want to deal with this world anymore. It hurts Kirstin," he whimpered, grabbing at the bottle. She hesitated, but stopped herself from giving in. Kirstin shook her head firmly, walking away with the alcohol in her hand.

"Mitch, I have to go back home. Jeremy said that Pascal got into trouble with another dog, and we need to go to the vet's. Please take care of yourself, I'll be texting you every hour, and you better answer," she spoke with a frown when she came back. Mitch nodded, rushing towards the kitchen when she left. He let out a frustrated grunt as the sight of his wine spilled into the kitchen, glass bottle to the side.

He opened the freezer, hand blindly searching. His fingers grasped the cold solid, pulling it out.

Wine couldn't get him drunk, or kill him. Vodka surely would, right? At least dull the pain?

In one hand, he held the vodka. In the other, his phone. Kirstin would be furious, but she didn't have to know.

Throwing the electronic to the side, Mitch opened the bottle and threw his head back. Burning liquor seared his throat, causing him to choke on the bitter taste and smell. Everything inside of him was chanting to just throw in the towel, down it all and kill himself. It was that simple, honestly.

Being the simplistic person he was, he kept going. Getting in trouble with Kirstin was like being deep in shallow water, meaningless. What a coincidence! His life was the exact same thing.

Gulp,

After gulp,

After scream,

After sob,

After door opening,

After scream,

After phone call,

After hospital bed,

After stomach pump,

After sob.