Let Love Bleed Red

CHAPTER: THREE

While Nathan headed back he shoved his hands into his pockets and clenched his fist. His fist had gripped on a small folded piece of paper and he pulled it out and examined it. He realized it was the note Noah gave to him the day he found him in the corner bloody and crying. He started to tear up thinking what could he possibly have wanted to say to him before he ended his life. He flicked the edge of the paper with his thumb debating whether he should open it, he decided it couldn't get any worse than hearing your soon to be boyfriend killed himself right after he made you feel like all the horrible memories were nothing compared to those few split seconds of bliss. He carefully opened the neatly folded paper afraid it might rip and lose all its sentimental value. He finally opened the snow white paper and read his neatly written words taking in every letter pausing after every sentence to let it sink in. He read the note over and over again trying to see a hidden message or something, something that would hint the depressed state Noah was in.

' Hey Nate, I'm fine honestly don't be worried about me i can handle things myself. I had written this note to you cause i wanted to see you, after school, i wanted to continue where we left off you know, in front of the nurses office. I've liked you for a while now, as you already know, and I think you may like me too so i want to ask you out on a date, and then we could just talk, get to know each other a bit better. Going out with Adam was a mistake and i was too blind to realize that at the time, I should have never given up on you or at least tried allot harder to let you know I liked you. If you really like me, please, meet me after school.'

                                                                                                                                                    ~Noah

Nathan felt like an idiot, he forgot he even gave him the note. He was too overwhelmed by the kiss and couldn't handle thinking about anything else but. Is this why Noah killed himself because he didn't respond to his note, because he didn't proclaim his love to him. Nathan started to blame himself for Noah's death he started to feel sick, he sat on the steps of a red apartment building and tried to catch his breath. He started becoming certain that he was the cause of his death, he knew now Noah wanted... NO, he needed someone there for him and he was too stupid to realize. Nathan envisioned Noah slitting his throat, his eyes started to cloud with darkness leaving him in a deafening silence. He heard himself sob but couldn't feel the warm tears fall from his eyes, he felt guilty, a feeling of overwhelming remorse, only because he felt he neglected him, because he wasn't there for him when he should have been. His vision became reality and the darkness became a place he knew very well, it was Noah's room. Nathan started feeling disgusted in himself, he watched as Nathan took the slim sharp knife to his throat and ripped it from ear to ear, tears streaming down his face as it cringed and crinkled from the pain. Nathan stood there immobilized by fear, or at least he thought he was. He was unable to move forced to watch this nightmare as the dark liquid gushed out from the wound and onto the floor leaving stains of red littered across the patterned carpet. Noah's hand lunged for is throat and in what felt like forever he slowly collapsed onto the carpet. The sound of the impact, and the deafening screams that had seemed to come from elsewhere sounded so surreal. He wanted to run to his corpse, he wanted to snatch away the knife, he wanted to hold him, comfort him, tell him he was never going to leave his side, that everything would be fine from this point on; but he couldn't all because he was to ignorant, and now he had to witness the inevitable which could have been easily prevented.

 "Hey, dude" A loud voice woke him from his vivid nightmare, he was confused he had sworn he was in Noah's room it was like he was right there. He looked around cautiously as if the sky was going to fall. 

"DUDE" Nathan jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly turned to look at a pale boy, about his age, he had pale brown eyes, messy, dirty blond hair. He looked to be about 6'2 and wore ripped skinny jeans and an asking Alexandria T-shirt. Nate was groggy eyed and started to wonder where he was, he thought for a moment and realized he had blacked out from all the stress and guilt he had going on. He noticed the impatient teen waiting for his reaction but he didn't know what to say. Nathan heard him cursing under his breath, he reached for the railing and pulled himself off the steps he had been sitting on for quite a while. It had already started to get dark out and the sun was just about ready to set. He looked towards the boy and saw a surprised look strewn across his face.

"Well umm, Hi" Nathan didn't know why the boy was greeting him, or why he started to get nervous all of a sudden. But he decided to play along.

"Hey, am I in your way, I'm so sorry"

"Nah its OK, what are you doing out here, in front of my apartment building? You live around here?

"uh no, not to far, its dark i should be heading home now don't want the family to start to worry"At that Nathan sidestepped the boy and started to walk away until he heard the boy call out for him.

"HEY"

"yea"Nathan stopped abruptly and slowly turned towards the boy again.

"you need a ride or a phone call or something." Nathan stood there and thought, why is this guy being so nice to him, he honestly thought i would get in a car with him, hell no. But i do have to tell my parents I'm fine so i could at least call them tell them to pick me up. Nathan looked up at the guy and agreed to a phone call home. He walked up to him and leaned on the railing as he waited for him to unlock the glass door to the building.

"I don't think I got the chance to introduce myself, I'm Ben" As he turned the key he spun around and smiled politely at Nate. Nathan then realized how cute this boy was and couldn't prevent his cheeks from turning red. He looked to the ground and kicked over a stick a couple of times till he felt ready to introduce himself as well. He looked up and stared at Ben's mollifying features that seemed to set a calming state on Nathan and he smiled back as well.

"hi,my name is Nate" Nathan couldn't help himself, he felt so stupid the way he said things around cute guys. He started to feel awkward so he walked up one step motioning towards the entrance. Ben had a flash of realization on his face and opened the door for him. He turned to look at Nathan once again and made a hand gesture in towards what looked like a cheerfully painted, and populated building. After a couple of seconds Nathan deemed safe enough to enter. as he passed Ben he stopped in front of him.

"you are such a gentleman"Nathan smiled quirkily at his own joke and continued to enter the building.

"bitches first right" he heard Ben call out from behind him followed by a chuckle. Nathan couldn't help but laugh at this cheerful strangers jokes and personality, but after thinking about this cute boy's wit he was after all a stranger who he knew nothing about. This could end up being the worst decision he's ever made.