The Death of this Account

A Letter to Her Mom

Before I start, I'd like you to know that she gave me permission to upload all the letters in her suicide book. As sad as it is, I'll still do it for her.

Dear Mom,

Many times I've said I hate you. Not to your face, but on notes and paper. Many times, it was true. I never really felt that you ever loved me. I wasn't your favorite daughter, I wasn't even pretty, or skinny, or outgoing. Maybe that's why I was the least liked. Maybe it was just because I never shared my personal life with you. You always tried to snoop but I hid everything so perfectly, that you'd never see. You thought I was just some grumpy girl who never talked. I was really the opposite. I had so much of a complex life. What did you even know about me? That I didn't date anybody? That's it. To confess, I cut myself up for months on end. I cried in my room and pulled out my hair. I hit the wall so hard until I bled. And all you thought was me messing around in my room. This time, I am messing with my life in my room. But it's not like you could ever care.

Goodbye,
Daisy.

When I first read this, I cried so hard and spent the night in her room. After, there were no cops in the house. Her room was cold, and slightly messy. Her clothes all laid untouched. Her window stayed unlocked so she could watch over her cat. There wasn't much blood on the carpet as she laid down on a bunch of blankets. Her poor snake must've watched her.

I didn't know this would be so hard to write. I feel like a crybaby.