Chapter Twenty

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I still wanted to throw Athena a birthday party. She wouldn't have any part of it though, she knew that everyone was hiding something from her. She was too observant not to notice something was wrong. No one was allowed to see Axel, there was no one who was family and my name wasn't on his list of 'allowed' people. I wasn't about to show Athena and say, 'here this is his daughter', I wouldn't put her through that. I was fuming with them, but they were doing their jobs, I couldn't fault them for that. Athena refused to leave her bedroom until someone told her what was happening. I knew what the right thing to do was, but I didn't want to say anything until I knew what his status was.

There were so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't focus on anything. All that was going through my head was that this wasn't real, that this was all just some sick joke. However, after dropping Athena off at home and rushing to the hospital, it started to come crashing down. I don't know how I managed to keep it together honestly. Lyn was covered in blood, shaking like a leaf. The blood that was on him was Axel's, there was so much of it. Can a person live after losing that much blood? Blood. Blood! He was going to need blood. How did this happen?

These things didn't happen! They only happened to people you know. Hit and run? That seemed so... low. I was sure that the areas that Axel shopped in had a little more class than that. Hit and run. The words echoed in my head over and over again. The blood on my brother. How was he going to survive this? How could you lose that much blood and still be alive? I didn't know that I was crying, but aparently I was. I begged to see him, but the nurses said that he was in surgery.

The most that I could get out of them was that he had broken bones and head trauma. As far as I was told, he was still alive. My illusion that this was a joke was slowly shattering. I left with my brother, he had to drive. I don't even know why I feel like this, I feel horrible. I feel like this was my fault. Is it? He had gone out to do the errands I was supposed to do. Oh my God. Would that have been me in the hospital if Axel hadn't gone?

Is it horrible to say that I am somewhat glad it wasn't me? How would they tell Athena the news about me being hurt? How was I going to tell her about Axel?

Lying in my bed I rolled to the side. The pillows were still creased from when Axel had been there yesterday morning. His cologne lingered and...

I sat up and shook my head. After returning to the house yesterday I have been either in my room or with Athena, trying to get her to have a party. I need something else to focus on. I was acting as if we had broken up, as if he was dead. I needed to think positive. It was strange, my feelings to him. I wanted him to be near and yet so very far away from me. He makes me happy, which scares me, no man has ever had the power to make me feel as strongly as he does. He makes me so angry and so mad, but he always makes me feel so strong and capable.

Just a week ago, we were agruing over something small, it started off as a debate about underage drinking. I was heavily against allowing children to drink whereas Axel thought that it was okay. He made the statement that kids are going to drink, whether you like it or not. He was of the opinion that you may as well provide a safe environment for them to do so. I disagreed, telling him that there were alternatives. That we an adult condoned it, then it would be showing them that it was alright. Somehow we started an argument on it. I stopped talking to him and then he decided to bring Athena into it. I argued that she would know better and he joked about the night we had met. Saying like mother, like daughter. The argument ended when I asked him if he wanted his daughter to get pregnant as a teenager to a stranger from a one night stand. He shut up.

Before the Lyn and Olivia fiasco, we were lying on the beach, watching Athena run and play in the water with Hamilton. I lay next to him, with my glasses over my eyes, completely relaxed. I thought that I could really get used to it. We shared no words, just enjoyed the silence we had in each others' presence. Axel placed his hand over mine and we shared a look, one that told me he felt the same. There was a simplicity about being near him. We didn't need to say any words, we were just two people who seemed to just exist and enjoy existing next to one another.

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