Boomerang Men

Gilded

Now there are times in our life that are small, but yet such a big impact that we may not know at those times. I want to take you back to when I was twenty three; I meet the man of my dreams. He is the man I always knew when I was younger, that he is what I want. But to not be with him at this point in my life, I could only think I messed up. I would rethink all our moments, and ask myself did I screw up? Was he really the man for me? Why was I so scared with him?

These always crossed my mind, he was the brick to me to all my foundation. I compared Everyman to him, and wanted those standards from Everyman I dated. I was gilded with with envy for his presence in my life experiences. But I did not comprehend that yet in my life, for I was just beginning my life experiences with out influences.

We can be blind to what being gilded is; to know when it's our instincts telling us to run we don't always understand them. With Travis I was gilded with his charm, ohh does he know how to charm a girl. Just one little smile he will have your panties dropping and forgetting why they were.

Now after I saw Travis in December I went back saw him again in January. Some girlfriend and I were hitting Las Vegas for some fun. I was making sure I was seeing Travis. First it started off good for the night first he was suppose to meet us at this local bar Stoney's, but he never showed. Travis said he was going to house party and he would meet me after. I should of listened to my gut then. But I wanted to see him, and lots of shots later I was at his house waiting for him. He finally showed up 20 minutes late. He just smiled and I melted. "So does one of your friends want to come in and hang out with my buddy?" We all kinds of just sat there like umm, finally one said "no, does it look like we are easy?"

As Travis opened my door for me to get out, I almost wanted to stay in the car. I didn't know what my gut was trying to tell me at the time; all I could think about is fun. Soon as we got in his room clothes were off and he was all over my breast. His body was just telling mine to just lay back and enjoy, let him do the work. His kisses were so soft and slow that I just wanted more and more. For the first time in my life I was letting go of inhibitions that I have been taught in my life. Still shy and quiet, but yet wanting to explore. As he slide inside me it was different the. Sex before cause I was trying to enjoy; feel what sex is really about. I guess you could call Travis my puppet to learning my body. As he maneuvered my body I couldn't shut my brain off. I keep thinking what am I doing? Why am I here? Right after sex, Travis was up doing laundry. I felt used like a piece of meat; I was suppose to be using him! How is it I feel like a toy for him?

Soon as he returned I just laid like I was sleeping, he slid over and spooned me. This feels nice I thought as he wrapped his legs around mine! Once again in the morning he was on top of me, he just started slow and then just layer inside me not moving. He slowly lifted his head after a minute and kisses my forehead. I just looked at his eyes and he looked so gentle then last night. Then something changed he started to fuck me hard and fast; and just pounded like nothing I have ever had anyone do. Grabbing my hair and asking me "who's is it?" I didn't know what to say! " it's mine! Your mine!"  He was so intense, so intimidating. As he keep pounding me and pulling me hair he got so demanding for me to say it. " say it's mine! Who's is it?" I finally said its yours! Once those words flowed out of my mouth he was standing on top of me on the bed. I could t even react he was wanting to cum on my chest and face.  I felt so disrespected; I just looked at him after he got off me, he got me a towel to clean up. Soon after I went and cleaned up, I was getting dressed and just dying to have my friends come get me. I just wanted out of that house.

I couldn't be more excited that my friends were there to get me, soon as I heard them ask where is our friend? She is here and we need to get her! I never told them what happened. I wasn't sure if this was normal behavior for men; or how crude it was and if I was over reacting. Travis was messaging me later that day telling me how much fun he had and couldn't wait to see me again. All I could think about is "why am I in a trance with this guy?" He has something about him.