You Found Me

Prologue

   (Shout out to @SGHADINA for the cover of this book)

    Alone. That's all I ever felt. No one to talk to. No friends, family, even my boyfriend. I couldn't do it anymore. How could anyone ever stand to be like this.

It's been five months. He hasn't called or even messaged me. He left leaving me to wonder what we even were. Did he even love me? I couldn't even tell anymore. It's as if he was digging a dagger into my heart. Cutting deeper and deeper until I fall apart. 

Everything around me feels like it is falling apart. I just want to forget everything he's made me feel. Love, hurt, anger, and even a little bit loss. He did this to me, It's not the type of "high school romance" love, it was the "we were really forever" no one would've understand how much for each other. But I guess I was the one who fell harder. The fool.

I was the fool everyone believed i'd be. "You could never make him fall for you" oh how I wished I would've listened. I was a fool. "He's not like any other guy" and yet he wasn't, but not in the good way you'd want to imagine. Oh was I a fool.

I thought I could change him. But you can't change someone who already has before. You can't and if you can then hell you've accomplished what I never could. I fell in love with his flaws, even the freckles by his nose. Three on each side that he hated. How his eyes crinkled every time he laughed, and every time he laughed, god  it was as if he burned my body. I guess he just couldn't do the same. I fell for his flaws while he fell for my attention. 

Was I a joke? Pathetic enough to believe that someone like him could love a girl like me? Was I overreacting? Maybe. Or maybe I wasn't and he'd realize what he did to make me feel this way.Or maybe he never will.

I knew that every time he smoked it would kill him faster, but what he didn't know was I was the cigarette and he was the lighter.   

Our love could have lasted. A second, a minute, or even a a day. But it didn't we didn't. Why? he was a man i should've never talked to. A man i should've never fell for. But I did, how I wish I could take back the memories,

I wish I could take back the time i said hi. Or every minute he gave me attention. I wish I could take back our kisses, our laughs, his smile, his eyes. If memories were paper and I was the pencil I would erase everything we had. 

He showed me things you'd never see in a lifetime. He made me believe that it would always be like this. Us. But things you want are things you can't always have, and he was one of them.

Months. Maybe years will pass before we meet again. All I wanted to now was why? Why did he leave with no explanation? Why did he leave angry? Why didn't he call? 

At that moment I believed it was my fault. Because when you love someone you don't want to ever blame them. Just yourself. You try to do your best for them, but even your best isn't enough.

Sitting here in this cold dark room. Every time the breeze hit my arm I could feel goosebumps rising. Black. That's all I saw, that's all I could feel. It was just me no one else. No one who wanted to be here for me. Leaving me by myself. Crying myself to sleep every night, my eyes puffy and red. The room was empty, and maybe that's why I felt a little empty myself.

How can you help someone who's already lost? When they can't find them self how could you do better? He did that he found me. When he found me I was broken and scared but with him he made things a little better, and a little brighter. But once he disappeared  I was lost again. Like I was in the woods. No help. It's as if he wanted to lose and he did, But I didn't lose him I always had hope for him. Hope for us.

He ruined me. I hope someday he'll understand how much he hurt me, the girl who couldn't love herself but also , the girl who's self esteem went down because of a boy, the girl who hated herself or not giving him enough, the girl who felt wasn't enough for him.I wasn't always "that" girl. 

Until he came around is when things started to change. When I started to change. Me.                        

Madison Alvarez.

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Hey guys! I really hope you start to enjoy this story I've been thinking of writing it for a while.

What's your thoughts on the first chapter? 

did you enjoy? 

Can you guys guess the name of the guy Madison is infatuated with?

Thanks for reading guys! :)