I just don't really care

Part 3

I wake up and look at Liam's alarm clock beside the bed. It has only been 3 hours. I plan on leaving anyways. I have to go home. I quietly leave his bedroom and walk the way I came from before. All of the lights were off but my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I walked to the front door and left silently. I won't be coming here anymore. I mutter silently, Tchao and did a three finger wave behind my back towards the house. I feel like crap. Of course I took all my belongings with me. I walked back home.

The early morning air felt really nice. Maybe I should do this more often. Hmmm, what day is it? Oh yeah. It's Saturday. School is almost over. By the time I got home the sun was shining a little bit. I quickly unlocked the door with my key and went to take a shower. I got dressed in a pair of dark straight jeans, a black plain tshirt and I wore my pumas, with socks. I grab my backpack and put my new sketchbook in there, some underwears, a few tshirts, and two jeans. I grab another bag and pack some books, some of my small stuff, and an extra pair of shoe.

I quickly but quietly leave the house. Maybe one day I'll come back. I don't know. But one thing I know for sure, it won't be soon. Since it is morning, I plan to walk. I have no idea where. But I'm just going to walk. I'll keep walking until I go somewhere I like. At times like these I wish those stories about werewolves were true and that one of them would be my mate and they'd come find me or I accidentally meet them. Or vampires. They bite me and I either die or become a blood-thirsty monster. Or even a zombie. I mean, come on. It's a fucking fantasy, and I am sure I'd like it better than this.

I keep walking and it gets pretty warm. I go into a park and lay in the grass. Ahhh... Nothing better than to lay down on fresh clean grass. I take off my shoes and my socks. I take my bags off of me and just lay there for a while. Thinking about nothing in particular. Thinking about shit that has been my life. Thinking about all my guilts. Thinking about how I am especially a low life. Thinking about that one guy that I should have talked to and asked out, but a friend liked him, and me being the totally nice person, let my friend have him. I wouldn't stand a chance anyways. She was blonde, pretty and social. I was Asian, average, and not social. Unenthusiastic. Careless about drama, relationships, school. Depressing. Pessimist.

But it's not like I don't try to be social, or optimistic, or happy, or even caring about anything. I did my homework. I paid attention in class. I talked to people I knew. I try to be happy. I cared about my family, friends, animals, plants, and life, in general. I just couldn't keep trying. I can be competitive. I can be stubborn. But when it's all worn out. I give up. Is it worth it to keep trying and not even get results?

Well. I don't think so.

My eyes were closed, and suddenly there was a shadow over me, I felt the air get a bit cold. I opened my eyes a bit and squinted at the dark figure in front of the sun. Meh... I sat up. Picked up my things and started to walk away. Yeah, I know it's just depression. But it was the first time I thought about just vomiting. No reason why, but just the feeling of wanting to do it. I walked away from the figure, and I felt it staring at me. At my back. All I have goodbye. I willbe out of this city in a few hours. Well, I guess I won. Be finishing school. Meh... Before all this, I wanted to be something great. Something that'll get me money and where I can travel places. Where I can do whatever I wanted. Well that's all a dream. You know when people say it's a dream come true? Well it really isn't. Think about all the negative stuff. It'll make me even worse than now.

I keep walking, thinking about walking all the way across the US. It's impossible for me. I'm out of shape. Hahaha, I can laugh at that. I say I'm out of shape, but maybe I am fine this way. Oh wells who cares. Maybe I can just go to Mexico or even Canada. Or I can live in a forest. Somewhere, where no one would be able to find me. Or the beach of people's back yard.