Maybe I'm Confused

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Maybe I'm confused.

That's what it is, I'm just confused.

After the audition, I went to my dorm to take a shower. When I changed into my pajamas, I noticed there was a new text.

Sakura: How'd it go?

Peach: It was fun

Sakura: Did you get it?!

Peach: It hasn't even been determined yet!

Sakura: oh www

Peach: yeah lol

Sakura: um...

Peach: yeah?

Sakura: um... thanks for not hating me

Peach: Why would I? That would be ridiculous to hate you for your sexuality

Sakura: oh

Peach: yeah

Sakura: Well I'm glad you're not like those other people :)

Peach: me too :)

Sakura: oh lol

Peach: haha Well I gotta go to sleep. I'm tired and besides we got a test tomorrow

Sakura: oh right. Oyasumi

Peach: oyasumi

I bit my lip. I reluctanly turned my phone off and plugged it in.

I wanted to keep talking. But I knew I couldn't keep bothering her. And we practically talk all the time, so it seems unnecessary that we should talk past our bedtime.

Yeah, our school gives us a bedtime. Bleh.

I stared at my phone as I lay in bed. I should get Jongin's number.

I think it was a problem with attention. If Sana was always talking to me, there would definitely be a problem with attention.

I gasped. I remembered something.

That's how I can solve it! That's how I can cure myself!

I think I slept pretty okay that night.

I knocked on Sana's door. "I'm here!"

I sat down on the floor next to her door, like I do every morning. I put on my earbuds and started listening to Namie Amuro's Golden Touch, which I did every morning for motivation.

Usually Sana would come out right after the song was over, about three and a half minutes, but nothing happened.

I stood up and knocked on the door again. "Sana! Sana?"

Suddenly, I heard laughing from the room next door. Tzuyu, the exchange student from Taiwan, stayed in that room, but her best friend Dahyun was always in there in the morning. They liked to dress similarly and do each other's make up.

When they came out, they gave me a strange look.

"Is... Sana here?"

Tzuyu shook her head. "She left half an hour ago. I assumed she was going to your room."

Looking at Tzuyu and Dahyun, they really looked like a couple. I began to wish Sana and I would do a routine like that together...

Wait, what? No!! I'm straight!! And I don't even wear make up!!

"Okay, thanks." I left quickly.

I entered the classroom. Sana was looking at her phone, and constantly sighing.

I wanted to be upset, but it looked like she was struggling enough.

"Hey."

She looked up at me, a little startled. "Oh, sorry I left so quickly!! I'm just so nervous..." She looked down, as if ashamed.

I bent over so I could see her face. "It's okay, don't worry. I didn't wait long. But why are you so nervous?"

She glanced at me, her face turning red. "About what I told you..."

"Oh," I understood.

I didn't know how much courage it must have taken her to tell me, and how embarassed she must have been after.

I kneeled down and put my hand on her knee. "Hey, it's okay. There's nothing to be ashamed about." I smiled at her.

She nodded, and with a smile, whispered, "Thanks" before looking down. I noticed she was looking at my hand.

I pulled it away quickly and sat in my seat.

We both sat somewhat in the middle row, but we were on opposite sides of the room. We looked at each other, and then to the front of the room.

I guess I have to tell her later.

During break, Sana came to my seat.

"Hi."

"Hi." I smiled. "I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you going back home on your mother's birthday?" She nodded. "What day are you leaving?"

"Mmm... This saturday."

I nodded. "How long will you be gone?"

"Until Wednesday..."

"Oh..."

The point in me asking was supposed to be for me to figure out how long I could figure out what exactly I was feeling about Sana. The longer she's gone, the more time I have to figure it out.

But she's my best friend, I couldn't imagine being without her. I ended up feeling a little depressed.

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