Don't Break My Heart (SaMo Fanfic)

Discovery...?

As we sat on the bench, I told Jongin everything. From when I first met my best friend to that moment, and all the feelings I began to develop. It was hard... the whole time, I was shaking, but he rested a hand on my shoulder to assure that it was okay. Afterwards, I felt relieved. I felt like I didn't have to have all these feelings and never get to talk about it.

I wasn't confused anymore. Just talking to him, everything made sense. Without him saying a word, I could understand what I was going through. So it was easy for me, after telling him about all the things going through my head, I could say it clearly. I could say it without confusion or fear. In fact, I could say it, and felt so relieved because it was about time that not only I told someone, but that I admitted it to myself:

"Yes... I do love her. I'm in love with Sana."

After telling him, I felt like crying, but also laughing. It was so much, but finally, I could tell somebody! I didn't have to keep it in my head, which had become a cluttered mess. Just talking to Jongin, I could sort everything out myself.

I also learned something about Jongin: He does like to play the bad boy around people, but he's actually very humble and caring. He listened to everything I said, encouraging me to go on when I felt too scared to say something, and listened all the way to the end without judging.

I kept laughing before I covered my face in embarassment. "I love her so much... but I can't tell her..."

Jongin stood up. It must have been a lot for him to take in. "I'm really happy for you, Momo."

"Huh?"

He turned around and smiled. "It's great that you could discover that about yourself."

"I suppose..." I said, a little confused. Usually "discovery" was associated with children who go camping in the woods doing wild things and almost getting killed, at least in my household. I didn't quite understand, I didn't want to be associated with those people. And my confusion must have shown on my face, because Jongin clarified: "It's good that you can come to terms with your sexuality. A lot of people are too afraid to. I wouldn't want you to live on unhappy with yourself. So I'm glad you could admit it to yourself. That you're not 'straight as an arrow.'"

"Yah!" I exclaimed. "Did I say it that much?"

"Everytime Baekhyun called you gay, yeah, you said it a lot."

I grumbled. Ugh, even Baekhyun could sense it. But I didn't want to think about him. And Jongin knew that, too, because he changed the subject.

"So, what now?"

I looked up. "What do you mean?"

He laughed. "Momo, I mean, are you gonna tell her?"

"Eh?!" My hands flew to my mouth. It was probably an exaggerated reaction, but the thought of telling Sana scared me to death. "I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"She couldn't possibly like me..."

Jongin kinda looked sad... which surprised me, since he was flirting with her over half an hour before. He quietly asked, "Is she... is she straight?"

"Well..." I didn't feel like it was right to tell Sana's business. She told me in secret... I didn't feel like it would be a good idea to tell other people without her knowing.

"Huh, that's too bad... even though I've seen her talking to Amber. I thought she was bi."

On one hand, I was surprised that he noticed, since I never did. On another, I was depressed... she couldn't like me, she likes Amber.