Unattainable Dream

Baby, That's the Way its Gotta Be

1965

George strummed his guitar gently, humming to himself in a soothing manner.

"I don't know why...nobody told you, how to unfold your love" He sang very softly, barely audible.

"Hey, that's very good, Geo"

George looked up to see Ringo grinning at him, sitting on the stool behind his drum set.

"Paul 'n John will probably like it, why don't ya discuss it with em?" Ringo asked.

"Its barely nothin', maybe another time" George shrugged, giving Ringo a lazy smile.

Ringo nodded.

"Where are they anyway?" George asked after a while of silence.

"Oh, probably in the other room, discussing songs and whatnot" Ringo stood up and stretched long, like a cat. "'M gonna make some tea, want any?"

"No, not now" George shook his head sighing and gently putting his guitar aside.

Ringo nodded and wandered off into the kitchen.

"I don't know why....no one controlled you..." George sang again.

Maybe he would discuss the song with John and Paul.

But whenever he even had the slight idea of doing that, George had this sinking feeling in his stomach and cut the idea off completely.

He just didn't want to deal with that, being apart of the famous, inseparable writing duo.

He simply couldn't do it.

George heard muffled thuds and laughs come from a door, John and Paul were in another room together, alone, enjoying each other's company and writing songs.

George let that sink in as he shook his head, rubbing his face roughly to rid of the image.

He could never be apart of their league if he wanted to. He doesn't know why, exactly.

It was just a horrible feeling he felt somewhere deep inside himself.

~

"George! Heading over to John's right now, got a new Chuck Berry record and he was gonna show me. Like to join?" Paul suggested with a huge, excited grin in his face.

"Not now Paul, me mum is expecting me home" George lied through his teeth.

At the time, 7 years ago, he just felt slightly intimidated by John. He didn't like the way his squinting eyes followed him everywhere, judging him.

"George! John was gonna take us to another one of Stu's artsy parties. It'll be a drag, would ya like to come?"

"Er, no thanks. I've got a date tonight, Paul. Another time"

Again, George knew that if he wasn't personally invited, John simply wouldn't want him there. It gave him an off feeling.

"George! John inviting me to go to another strip club, Hamburg's got tons of them. Join, will ya?"

"Meeting a bird later tonight, maybe later, yeah?"

.

The realization struck him that whenever Paul had invited George somewhere John would be, he didn't want to go at all.

John practically claimed territory over the doe-eyed boy. He made that very clear when he first met him on the top of that bus.

He sees it in his thin, little brown eyes when he talks to him.

No, he doesn't avoid John completely. He's still a mate he loves dearly.

But he only avoids him when he's hanging around Paul. They were very, very close.

At first, George simply thought he should stand clear of their own space, their vibe.

But he just simply can't stand being with them. And not because of the annoyance...

But because it hurts him.

It hurts that Paul has subconsciously already chosen John as his other half.

His best mate, his partner-in-crime.

It just fucking....sucks.

It could have been him, but somewhere along the line, he wasn't good enough.

He was still a good mate. They had their moments with the band.

But they weren't...soulmates.

George leaned against the wall, squeezing his dark brown eyes shut as he heard Paul's sweet chuckle through the studio.

It could have been him, and that's all he could think of when he sees Paul give John a loving smile or flutters his large eyes.

Paul 'n George...
Harrison/McCartney...

He chuckled at how that would look in the papers.

"Another fantastic hit by Harrison and McCartney!"

That chuckle turned into a strangled sob as he pressed his face into his hands and slid down the wall. He begged himself not to do it, but he let it all out.

Silent cries and whimpers pathetically racked his thin body violently as George cried in the Abbey road studios.