Dirtboyz | [completed]

Remember (BANG YONGGUK)

dedicated to Epheria

A N G S T

You watched as the droplets fell silently onto the tombstone in front of you as the speaker continued his speech about your dear friend, who had left this earth five years ago. Being here once again since the day of her funeral made you feel as though you had just gotten the dreadful news just yesterday. She had been in a head on collision, after leaving your house one night. Up until today, you hated yourself for not begging her to stay, you did, but you should of tried harder. 

That day everything ended. You lost not one, but two people in your life. The other was your fiance. It was straight after the call from your friend's mother, did a fight erupt in your home. He screamed, he cried, he was probably on the verge of killing himself, because not only was this your friend, this was his sister, his only sister. 

The painful memory made you wince as if the pain was physical, and you tried to keep your composure. Everyone from the funeral attended, some ignoring the fact that some people still hurt over the fact that she was gone, and had cheery conversations behind you, pissing you off. 

The only person looking as torn as you, was the second person you lost. His dark hair fell over his face as his eyes were glued on the picture placed of his sister. You found your eyes lingering on his stone cold face, wishing you could ease his pain, just a little. 

Finally it was the end of the ceremony and a few people, including yourself placed a bouquet of flowers next to the tombstone, and consoled her parents, who were still obviously broken. You were going to purposely skip him, it would of been better that way, but instead he called out your name. 

"(y/n)" his deep voice rang, as you turned around and met his gaze. 

"uhm...Hi Yongguk" you managed to smile, as he stepped to the side, allowing the two of you a private conversation. 

"How are you doing ? its been awhile" he asked, a crooked smile forming on his face, "you dont live around here anymore do you ?" 

"no" you replied, chewing down on your lip, "I drove here from Icheon." 

"Thats quite a long drive" he sighed, as the two of you began walking through the wet grounds to the car park. 

"How--uhm...how have you been doing ?" You finally managed to say.

Yongguk took a deep breath in, and slumped his broad shoulders as he exhaled. He hasn't changed since the day you left. Still handsome, still so troubled. The two of you finally reached your car and Yongguk held your door open for you as you got in.

"I've been okay, just concentrating more on my music.....we -- could catch up ? there's a coffee shop below my apartment" he said, looking down at you with his sunken eyes. 

Its all you have ever wanted. You have wanted to mend your friendship for years, and finally he was giving you the opportunity. Finally you were able to ease up on the fact that you hadn't spoken to the man you were going to marry in five years. 

"yes, I would like that" You smiled politely as Yongguk returned a smile and hopped into your passenger seat. 

He carried on a basic conversation during the entire car ride. Catching up on each other's job status, family life, the usual things. You finally pulled up to his apartment and the rain began to pour down, the sound was terrifyingly loud against your car. The coffee shop he had mentioned had just closed up and all the cafes along the street did the same, shielding themselves from the heavy rain.

"Well we could go up to our--- my  apartment, im sure I have coffee" He grinned, making your heart skip a beat. 

Your old apartment. You couldnt believe he still lived here after all these years. Walking up with him by your side brought back so many memories it made your stomach turn. Everything was exactly the same except the fact that the two of you were no more. 

Yongguk opened the door, and you slowly stepped inside, the familiar smell tingling your senses. Besides the dining room which was filled with music notes and various equipment, everything else was exactly the same. Your blankets thrown over the couch, your paintings that you loved so much and a picture of you and him placed on the bookshelf. 

Why would he have kept that if the two of you broke up five years ago ? you thought to yourself. 

Did he not move on ? 

You were suddenly snapped out of your thoughts when Yongguk gestured for you to join him on the couch as he placed two cup of coffee on the table in front of you and twirled his fingers in silence. He seemed more nervous to be around you then you of him. 

"Yongg--"

"(y/n), its been hard" he said, cutting you off, "My choice of us breaking up was selfish. It was anger, I hated everyone around me, I was a toxic person to be with."

You chewed on your lip, focusing more on the coffee in front of you than Yongguk. You couldn't look at him at this moment. If you did, you would break. Everything will come crashing down after you have built yourself up over these couple of years. 

"Ive tried to look for you for the past three years. Ive asked everyone where you have been but nobody would answer me. I figured you moved on without me, and I didnt-- I couldn't move on without you, so I stayed here, hoping one day you would eventually come back" his voice trailed off at a harsh sound of thunder echoing throughout the apartment and short circuiting the electricity. 

By instinct you grabbed onto his arm tightly, your heart beat speeding up at the sudden darkness and gusts of wind creating unnerving sounds on the outside. You were always afraid of storms since you were little, the phobia was something that couldn't be cured as much as people tried to help. 

"oh no, you're still afraid ?" Yongguk whispered as you clung to his arm desperately. 

Yongguk took your silence as a go ahead and pulled a blanket over the both of you, allowing you to lay on his chest as he began to stroke your hair gently, like he always did. Your heart beat finally began to calm down and you relaxed under his delicate touch. 

"Whether it be five years, or fifty years, im always here to protect you (y/n), always" he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, sending you off into a deep slumber.