TITS ON A PLANE

I.

Janine surveyed the passengers lined up to board the flight. "Oh my God," she thought. "Is that a football team?" The first few dozen people behind the stanchions seemed to be college jocks flirting with the cheerleading squad accompanying them. The girls mostly wore their green-and-black uniforms while the boys were dressed casually. But their athletic builds betrayed them as a team of athletes.

"Excuse me!" a shrill voice brought Janine back to the queue at the counter. "I was told I could upgrade to First Class!"

The woman was waving her ID around madly. Janine peered over her rectangular glasses at this lady. She was a short brunette with her boobs pushed up into intimidating cleavage. "She thinks those things have power here," thought Janine. "But to me she's just another pushy passenger."

"Let me see your ticket, Mrs. Scope," she told the woman. "It should be possible to upgrade you today."

"Good. I don't want to sit back there with all of those cheerleaders."

"I understand," she said.

The woman jutted out her chest. "Again," thought Janine, "I don't know why you're displaying those so dramatically. I would have upgraded you without the titshow. If those were any larger, you'd probably smother the whole plane."

Janine told her, "Thank you, Mrs. Scope. You're now in seat 2B. Have a nice flight."

"Good afternoon, Janine!" shouted Captain Reynolds as she barged passed the passengers. "We're going to have a smooth flight to Sydney!" The Captain wheeled her suitcase into the accordion passageway, looking dapper in her flight jacket.

"Thank you, Captain!" and the flight attendant resumed dealing with the unruly queue.

Captain Finna Reynolds strutted toward her plane feeling confident, but she had a weird song stuck in her head. She tried humming "Ain't Misbehavin'" and "Blurred Lines" to get it out of her brain, but the lyrics that the Witch Doctor had sung kept intruding. "When you're kilometers above the waters / The mama's teats will replace the daughter's. / Tell all the men, if they're reckless / To give those mamas a pearl necklace." The lines haunted her in a sing-songy way as she crossed the gap onto the plane. She waved to the flight attendants and then shut the door to the pilot's chamber.

"You took your time," said Tim, her copilot. He was a tall thin man with an easy smile.

She nodded at Tim and started preparing for flight.

Back in the terminal, Janine announced pre-boarding for Flight 58008 to Sydney. An elderly woman was helped out of an airport wheelchair and then used her walker to make it to the gate.

"Look at that old bag!" one of the football players stage-whispered to one of the cheerleaders, elbowing her in her tight-fitting uniform. "I hope she makes it through the flight alive."

"Don't be mean, Rickchad," she giggled.

"No, but seriously, Bicky! Look at that intense boobage! It's like she's got two humongous deflated beach balls hangin' down to her belly!"

Bicky pulled away from Rickchad. "You're disgusting! You know, what if my boobs look like that someday too?"

Rickchad studied the two perky shapes in her spandex. "Impossible, baby." He put his arm around her back and attempted to slide his hand around to brush her perfect breast, but she pulled away again.

"Now boarding Numbers 1 through 30," Janine interrupted over the loudspeaker.

"Not here, Rickchad! They're calling our section."

The young athletes and cheerleaders collected their belongings and filed into the queue behind Mrs. Scope. She had jogged to make it to the front of the line, not caring how much her chest had flown all over the place as she ran to the gate. It was too important to her to beat those horrible millennials into the first position in line.

On the airplane, the elderly lady was being helped into her front row seat by one of the flight attendants. He was a cheerful and charming man in his mid-twenties with short, stylish blond hair. He held the old woman's arm as she eased into the window seat. "Is there anything else I can get you, ma'am?"

"No, thank you so much, Philip," she said, squinting to read his name tag.

Mrs. Scope sat down in the row behind the old lady and breathed a sigh of relief when the football team and their dancing squad passed through the curtain into Economy Class. Not so lucky was a newly married couple, returning to Australia from their honeymoon in the states, who found themselves seated right in the midst of all the college students.

"This is going to be a long flight," Martha told John.

"It's okay," her new husband replied. "We'll take our pills and sleep right through it." She took his hand and he glanced over at a redheaded cheerleader seated across from them. She was young and curvy, with big juicy tits that seemed to defy gravity on her slight frame. He let his gaze linger on the college girl for a moment too long and then looked back over at his wife. Martha was beautiful, but she had always been thin and without much to weigh down her front. He loved her deeply, but, now that the wedding was over, it was dawning on him that he would never feel a round, soft, ample boob in his hand ever again. "Maybe she'll get fatter," he found himself thinking against his better nature. The loving couple grinned at each other and she contentedly put her head on John's shoulder.

Back in First Class, Mrs. Scope rang the attendant call button seven times in a row. Most of the passengers had found their seats, and Janine boarded the plane and heard Mrs. Scope's repeated dings.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"Hello, I've been calling this button for several minutes now!"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if I could start the flight off with a glass of sparkling wine? Brut or whatever you have, but Brut if you have it."

Janine thought to herself, "Great. Soon she'll be both pushy and drunk." And she told the busty brunette, "Beverage service will begin after we've reached cruising altitude."

"Oh, couldn't you just forget that rule? I upgraded to First Class!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but beverages are not permitted during takeoff." Janine walked away without waiting for a response and went up into the cockpit.

"God, we've got a real treat of a passenger in 2A," she sighed to the two pilots. "She's already demanded like thirty-five things."

Captain Reynolds laughed. "Should we eject her?"

"I wish. You'd like her, Tim, she's got tits for days."

The copilot frowned. "You know my type."

"Are we cleared for takeoff?"

"Almost! But we're waiting on one passenger. He just landed on a connecting flight from Phoenix."

Janine asked, "Will he make it?"

"We'll give him a minute. We're good for time." The Captain started humming to herself and preparing the dials for takeoff. Janine went back out.

"What's that tune, Finna?" Tim asked Captain Reynolds. "It's catchy."

"You're telling me. I can't get it out of my head." The lyrics "When you're kilometers above the waters / The mama's teats will replace the daughter's" ran through her mind again.

"You don't know what song it is you're humming?"

"Oh, it's a funny story. I went to this doctor over my vacation and he... sang it to me."

"A doctor? Were you sick on your holiday? It's not the cancer again, I hope! I thought that was all behind you, Finna?"

"No, no, it's not like that. It's hard to explain." She was embarrassed to admit to her copilot that she had gone to see a Witch Doctor and things had not gone as planned. "It's a long flight, I'll tell you the whole story once we're in the air."