Coming Alive

Scared

A/N: Hey! Sorry I haven't been updating lately, I've been going on various trips so I never had much time to write. Well here ya go!

Frightened. The one word that could sum up my feelings, not scared or fearful or terrified just frightened. I could overcome my fears, remove the scary things, and avoid the terrible people but I could not defeat the emotion of fright. People in my life seem to come and leave, and wether I like it or not fears appear and disappear as if nothing happened, terrible people and moments fade away over time, scary things claw their way out of your life. But fright would stay and eat away at you until you become nothing more than a shell of what you once were. I became that shell long ago when I turned 16, the terrible people faded, the fears disappeared, the scary things that would keep me awake at night chewed themselves away. But frightening thoughts became apart of me, latching onto whatever I am. The night that I dreamt of my parents... Passings, was a terrible moment, one that I wish I never had to relive.

It has been a week since that night. Lewis never brought it up or even looked at me, I was so cruel but it had to be done. I couldn't let him in even more than I accidentally did.

**Flashback**

"You talk in your sleep" Lewis huskily announced.

My mind was racing, he was still holding me in his arms. I didn't like this, not one little bit. I squirmed and shimmied out of his reach and sat on my knees on the end of the bed where is feet lazily crossed over each other.

"What do you know?" I whispered, frightened as to what I said in my sleep.

His face looked twisted between pity and sadness.

"Enough to know that you need someone to hold and care for you. You should have told us earlier. We would have understood. All of us have lost something or someone."

He said with a stern voice. Keeping his face composed even though I could tell by how his voice shook that he was on the verge of tears.

"I'm to far gone." I said truthfully, I am to deep in the water to be reached. If they tried pulling me out they would sink with me. Flashes of their faces crowded my mind making it difficult to find the words.

"I can't b-be what yo-you want me to be. I-I can't b-be he-helped."

"I don't understand, TeHa. Why won't you let us help you?" He barked frustrated

My eyes clenched, head dipped down, gripping the sheets I said harshly through my teeth. "Don't"

I couldn't let them do this to themselves, I wasn't that person. The kind that let people in just so that they could destroy them slowly. Why didn't he see that I was trying to help, these boys deserved so much better. I never believed I was a lycan and I still don't, I am too weak and silent. I couldn't be.

He stood up, broad back facing me as he strode to the door taking a pause in the doorway.

"Why?"

"I will just end up hurting you." I was being completely honest.

He grunted shameful and walked out with anger, towards who I don't know.

**FlashBack over**

I didn't sleep those next few nights staying in the room, not hungry, I used the bathroom that was across the hall from me. Lewis must have told Dante and Michael something. Nobody disturbed me.

Thinking it over I don't regret pushing them away. but I am still wondering a few things: Why did they still let me stay in the room. Why hasn't Jared come here to find his missing member. What unlucky bastard is going to be my mate in a month.

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A/N: so what did you think? Again I'm really sorry I haven't updated lately! I don't know if I am going to continue this story so tell me what you think?

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