I cant love you anymore

Chapter 1

The spark was no longer there. He had given up on me. Just like the rest of the world. 

"I don't love you anymore... I'm sorry." He looked into my eyes and I looked away. 

"Please forgive me. I just want to be alone." I walked off with the pain of regret engraved deep inside me. I held the baby close to my chest so she didn't get wet from the rain. It was me and her against the world. 

I got home and didn't want to look back. I went inside and sat down on the couch with little Nova in my arms. I looked at her and started to cry. I began to speak aloud.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean for you to hear what your father had to said about both of us. He didn't mean any of it. He was just....upset. I, Bianca Collins , as your mother, promise to take care of you. No matter what happens, I will be there for you unlike that so called father you had." I start to sob and held her closer. 

It's been 17 years since that night and Nova has been great without her father. Of course she asked about him. She would ask me things like where was he?  is he happy?  even if he was alive. I'm not sure why she would ask a question like that but she did and I answered as best as I could. 

"Mom, do you think dad misses us?"

"Well, your dad and I haven't spoken in a while but he said he missed you very much last time we talked." I look into 4 year old Nova's eyes and smiled. She didn't seem to be okay with my answer. I didn't have an actual  answer. Her father and I haven't spoken in the time of her existence. 

After 17 years of white lies and hiding the truth from Nova, I was scared to tell her anything about her father's whereabouts. She had grown into a young lady and I wasn't going to ruin our relationship because of a man who wasn't in her life for such a long time. 

I wake up to a loud scream making me jump out of bed and run to the kitchen to find Nova. 

"Nova!" I yelled hoping for an answer. 

"Mom. Why are you yelling?" 

"I was worried. I thought I had heard a scream."

"You did. I just saw a spider."

Like her father, Nova had become arachnophobic. That was the only thing that she had gotten from her him. His strong fear of spiders. I never really found a reason for it but even without knowing who her father was, she had still become like him.

"You'll be okay. It's just a spider. They don't harm you as long as you don't harm them." I smiled and hug her.

"Thanks Mom. I have to go. I'm gonna be late to school." She grabs her things runs out the door.  I was for some reason worried about Nova. She was only 17. Who knows what could happen to her.