Suicide

Discharge: Chapter 2

"Anna Douglas, You are well enough to go." the nurse says when she pops her head in.

"Here." Maddie said as she picked up my bag with my brush and things in it.

"Thanks.." I say quietly. It had been 3 weeks since the incident. I had gone through a hospital program since the doctors saw my self inflicted wounds and the rope marks around my neck. They also had to pump my stomach because i had swallowed a whole bottle of pills. I guess I feel better.. But only time will tell... It is time to go home. Maddie walks me out and to her car. Its sad that she is the only one who has came to visit... same time everyday after school. I wasn't allowed to have paper or pen because I and/or others could cut themselves with it. I also wasn't allowed having hoodies with strings because I and/or others could kill themselves. It was difficult for 3 days, but when Maddie showed up at 4:15, my day lightened up. I felt powerful and strong. I guess it just felt nice to know somebody cared. She put my bag in the back seat and opened up the front seat for me. I smiled and got in and strapped myself in. She got in her side and strapped in after starting the car. She pulls out of the parking lot and we are at a stop light.

"Thank you..." I say quietly.

"For what?" she says looking confused.

"For staying by my side.. For not giving up on me and for believing in me... You were there when nobody else was.. so thank you..."

"Anna.." she says as she places a hand on my cheek. We gaze into each others eyes. She starts to lean in closer and closer to me. As our lips are about to meet we hear a loud HOOOOOONK. The light had turned green and we both jump. She goes back to his original position. We both straighten up and she takes off to the next light. We sit there kind of awkwardly. We didn't know what to do or say so we stayed quiet the rest of the time. Eventually we reach my house and I sigh.

"Whats wrong?" she says, looking at me with those puppy dog eyes.

"I just don't want to go back... This place causes me so much pain."

She gives me a pat on the back and stops the car. I look at her confused as she gets out of the car and then she grabs my stuff. I figured she would just drop me off but she helped me take my things inside. Well tried to get inside... The front and back door were locked.. Then a note fell from the door saying to stay away and to never come back and that they will send all of my stuff to wherever I go. It said that they never wanted such a fuck up and that I was a disgrace to the family. I snapped, I broke down. A box sat on the porch saying "use me" in my dad's handwriting and when i opened it, it was full of blades. I thought about it, I didn't show Maddie. She picked up all of my stuff and put it back in the car.

"You are coming to my house. I will talk to my mother and explain the situation to her. You don't deserve to be treated like this. It's bullshit."

"Maddie i can't.."

"Anna you can. Get in now."

I sigh and stand up, taking the box with me secretly making sure Maddie doesn't know. I get back in and close the door, forgetting to buckle. Maddie starts the car and takes off towards her house.

"Why am I such a fuck up... Why don't they want me.. Why don't they want to see me get better?" I start to cry "nobody wants me..." my voice is quivering.

"Anna.. that's not true..." she hesitates to say something else.. I don't ask and she gets quiet for a minute. "Plenty of people want you and need you.. those guys are just messed up in the head. They don't deserve to have you as a daughter."

"Yeah whatever..."

We reach her house and she pulls in, turning the car off, and getting out. She reaches in the back seat and grabs my stuff and takes me inside. I yawn and cross my arms.

"MOOOOM" she yells. No response. "She must have gone out. I will talk to her when she gets back. But for now, you need some rest... you can sleep in my bed." But I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to lay down. I had been stuck in a bed for 3 weeks. What I wanted was to run around and eat actual food. I mean, I was drowsy and tired.. but I don't want a bed... I want to cuddle up on the couch with her and fall asleep to her playing with my hair, but I can't tell her that.. so.. bed it is. She takes me to her room and I fall on the bed and groan. I hear a little giggle escape her mouth.

"Heey. What are you laughin about?" I say looking her in her beautiful ocean blue eyes. So perfect..

"Nothing, nothing." She smiles at me. "Well I will leave you be. Get some rest. I will wake you up to eat." He walks out, closing the door behind him. I was out before I knew it.