Suicide

There I Was: Chapter 1

I held the gun to my head. Blood running down my arms from the fresh cuts, eyes bloodshot from crying...

"ANNA STOP" Maddie shouted

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I!?!? NOBODY CARES UNTIL THE KNIFE TURNS INTO A FUCKING GUN!"

"BECAUSE ANNA.. I CARE I ALWAYS HAVE!"

"Are you sure about that...? Who could care about me?" I say as I lower the gun

"Well obviously I can.. Anna you do not know how long I have cared.. and... even loved you.."

"Haha.. so funny I forgot to laugh.. you.. the most beautiful girl in school.. no in the WORLD loves me? An ugly ass bitch. Tell me another joke funny girl." the gun getting further and further from my head

"Let me prove it" she says reaching out her hand. I grab it and she pulls me close... softly... carefully... I drop the gun with a clatter.

"Maddie.."

-But that's not where it began. lets go to where it all started-

*riiiiing*

"So are you coming over?" i say picking up my stuff to leave and go home.

"Nah... I got dance" skylar said with a sad tone and look

"Damn.."

"I'm sorry Anna... maybe next time." she said walking out

"If there is a next time.." I say to myself. I walk out of the room and go to my locker

"Watch this.." I hear a whisper say. all of a sudden my locker gets slammed closed and my books get slapped out of my hands.

"Oops! I'm sorry! NOT" everyone laughs and i get slammed against the locker by my neck.. I can't breath.

"So how is the little freak?"

I am gasping for air and slowly losing continuous. Then all of a sudden I am dropped. I look over to see Maddie punching the shit out of Logan. I am dizzy and can't see well... Huge hand marks are left on my throat and Next thing i know i see teachers left and right.. and then.. nothing...

Time rolls by, 2 hours go by and I don't remember a thing.

I wake up in a hospital bed with Maddie next to me in the chair and a black eye.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital.. you passed out.."

"For how long?"

"About 2 hours...."

I sit and think for a moment.. was she here the whole time? Did she get in trouble? Its nice how nobody else showed up... or did they?

"Maddie.....?"

"Yes Anna?"

"Was anyone else here? were my parents called?

"Yeah.. your dad sounded pretty angry.."

"Great.."

"What?" she says with a concerned look"

"My dad is going to beat me.."

"What? Anna what do you mean he is going to beat you"

I roll up my sleeve the show the hand sized bruises on my arm, also trying to hide my old and new scars"

"Oh.." I can tell she is trying not to mention them.

"I'm fine"

"Are you sure?"

"I told you I... Am... Fine...." I say growling from a bit of anger.

"Okay.. I'm sorry its just..." she quickly stops.

"Just what?" I say, calming down a bit.

"Those..."

she says, looking at my bloody wrist. I quickly pull my bracelets and sleeves down.

"I'm sorry you had to see those.."

"No it's okay... Anna.. I-I want to help you."

"No Maddie I am okay. That's the last time." I lied. I had lied straight to her face. Her perfect, beautiful, amazing face.

"Okay." She had a reluctant tone to her voice. I hate that tone. The "I guess I can trust you" sound with the puppy dog eyes.

"FINE. If you feel better. I guess I can.. try.. to let you help me. But I already wasn't going to do it again." I lied. AGAIN. I think I have a serious issue. I want help but yet.. it feels so good. It brings me pleasure. I yawn and he looks at me, starts to get up but i look at her now. She sits back down after pulling his chair to the edge of the bed.

"Don't worry Anna... I'm not going anywhere..." she smiles her cute, smile, crooked side smile. I smile back and I reach for her hand but I pull back. But she instead reaches in and grabs it again. I yawn again and smile, eventually falling back asleep.