The Heart of a Rock Star

Prologue

"You're just not good enough for me anymore."

That sentence played on repeat in my head. I wasn't good enough for him. My boyfriend had finally caved in to what everyone had been telling him for months, that his small town high school sweetheart was not what the girlfriend of a superstar should be.

It all started a year ago when his band, Midnight Rush, finally got their big break and were signed to a record label. Their debut single "Rock Me" was an instant sensation and they became famous overnight. Their popularity only grew as they started to release more singles and eventually an album. Fame, fortune, fans, they got everything they ever wanted but with it also came an overbearing agent and no privacy what so ever. Everything they did was under the spotlight and caught on camera. Which, for four small town boys, was a lot of pressure.

I knew them all. Danny Rodriguez, Leo Davis, and Rick Parker were like the brothers I had never had and Malachai Jones was the love of my life. At least I thought he was. I was there when they discovered that they had a natural gift with music and I was there when they became a band, heck I was the one who suggested it. I was at every practice where they played till their fingers bled. I was at every gig, in whatever crappy place they could find that would let them play. I was their number one supporter and their very first fan.

At first it was months and months of low level gigs and barely enough money to afford 2-minute noodles. But no matter how down they were or how many people told them they were crazy to try become musicians, I was always there to pull them back up and tell them to listen to their hearts no matter what people said. One day, out of nowhere, they had a record label begging them to sign with them after a small gig in a local nightclub. One of their top producers had heard them play and immediately recognised how amazing they were. Suddenly they were recording their first hit single and there I was in the studio watching as their dreams became a reality and feeling so ecstatic that the boys I considered brothers and the guy I loved were finally getting what they deserved. But being there apparently wasn't enough.

Their label pushed them to reform their image from small town singers to all out rock stars. They were sent to the hottest places with the hottest people in the business. They were the guests of honour at some of the biggest parties in Los Angeles. They had their hair styled by some of the best stylists in the LA and their wardrobes were picked out by some of the most fashionable people in Hollywood. They were the epitome of what a rock star should be and were Hollywood's new heart throbs. But apparently the perfect rock star has to be dating the hottest thing in Hollywood, not the girl he met in the cafeteria lunch line. The label started to push Malachai to dump me and either be like Danny and Rick, the players who had been leaving  a string of famous hearts wherever they go or like Leo who had started seeing one of the hottest actresses of the year. At first he defended me and refused to let me go, but soon the media had the same opinion as his label.

The small town hick and the rock star was not a love story that the public admired or followed. In fact they kept calling me a leech, trying to gain fame by dating a superstar. I thought our relationship could withstand anything, even this, but the pressure was too much for Kai. It started with him not taking me as many public events or trying to make me change what I wore or did out in public. Then it slowly turned to him ignoring me or insulting whatever I did or wore. The boys were still my friends and we still hung out and talked, but they too started to drift away. They were so busy with their new careers that they didn't have as much time for their  'sister' anymore.

Eventually the label signed them up for a 5 month long tour around the states and I was not invited. Of course they gave the excuse that I could not afford to go on my meagre waitress salary and that my work would not tolerate a 5 month long leave. But I would have given it up in a heartbeat to be with the guys I considered family, especially since I didn't really have a real one. After a month of leaving messages or rushed phone calls that always ended with them saying they were too busy and that we would talk later I decided to surprise them after one of their shows in Colorado. I quit my job and used my last few paychecks on a flight to Denver. I booked a room at the same hotel I knew they would be staying at and a backstage pass to their show. Looking back that was probably one of the stupidest decisions of my life. 

At the concert I saw what I had known from the beginning that they were all naturally gifted musicians who where meant to be up on stage. I waited after the show in one of the rooms where they greet their fans excited to see the guys and the boy I loved after so long apart. As they walked around the corner they were greeted by some of the more eager fans that had been almost hyperventilating in the corner since I had arrived all decked out in Midnight Rush merchandise. I hung back knowing that our reunion could wait a little longer but then I heard a someone yelling 'baby' and then what looked like a real life barbie doll, equipped with enough plastic to make about 50 actual dolls, rushed past me. 

At first I thought she was just some dumb blonde bimbo that was as obsessed with my guys as the hyperventilating fangirls or maybe she was Danny or Rick's flavour of the month. That of course was until she ran straight into the waiting arms of the guy I had come to surprise. I watched as Malachai caught her and then almost broke down as their lips connected and he didn't push her away.

I didn't even notice the tears streaming down my face as my heart broke in two. Malachai looked up and saw me standing there but before he could say anything I rushed out into the hallway. I heard him shout my name but I kept going looking for a way out. Suddenly a hand wrapped around my arm and turned me to face them. I tearfully looked up at Kai's face, hoping and praying that the next words out of his mouth would be an apology. He would tell me that it wasn't what I thought it was and that he could explain and then he'd tell me that he loves me. He did give me an apology just not the one I was after. 

He told me that he was sorry I found out this way but that we were over. He had moved on and I should too. I stupidly begged him to reconsider that we could get past this and then he said that label was right and that I would only hurt his new 'image'. Then he said the words that would forever be burned into my memory.

"You're just not good enough for me anymore."

Then he left. I cried in that hallway for two hours until a security guard found me and escorted me out of the now closed stadium. I took a cab back to the hotel and packed up my things and flew back to LA. The boys must of heard what happened and tried to call me as I had two dozen missed calls on my phone when I woke up the next morning. I refused to talk to them. They must have know what Malachai was doing and they didn't even try to stop him or tell me what was going on so to me they were just as bad as him. After that I cut them out of my life just like they had done to me. I got a new phone, a new job and a new apartment.

My new job was at a small café that sometimes hosted live performances. One day, after a particularly terrible band that kept playing off key covers of the Top 40, I asked the owner if I would be able to play a song I had written which he agreed to. Their fans didn't know it but the song that made Midnight Rush famous was actually partly written by me and after watching all those practices and performances I had picked up how to play the guitar from Danny and Rick. I played my song and my small audience loved it, especially the owner of Stereo Anthem Records. SAR were Sonic Sound's, Midnight Rush's label, top competitor.

He'd seen my performance and  loved my music. He wanted to make me famous, but after seeing what fame had done to the people I thought I was closest too I instead made him a deal. I would sign with his label as long as I remained anonymous. He agreed.

My name is Alexandria Mason and this is not the end of my story... 

It is only the beginning.