Hypophernia; a vague feeling of sadness, seemingly without cause.

Welcome to the Shit Show: (i)

Tick.
Five minutes, thirty two seconds and counting.
Tick tick.
Three minutes, and counting.
Tick.
Two minutes minute, twenty two seconds and counting.
Tick tick.
Thirty two seconds and counting.
As I lay sideways staring at my white round IKEA alarm clock, the name of which I couldn't or didn't care to try pronounce, I pondered what my life would be like after these mere, thirty two- thirty one- thirty seconds ticked by with a certain speed that made my stomach turn. I closed my eyes briefly, preparing myself and my ears for my alarm to jump to life which usually signalled the start of my day, I thought about what it would be life if today was like any other day. I would wake up with a jolt, ripped from my peaceful slumber by the obnoxious screams of my alarm which would be sent crashing to the ground by my arm which I would thrust out from my warm cavern-like fortress under my blanket, like a weapon shoving my defenceless alarm clock to its woeful descent towards the floor. I would peek out and assess my surroundings, surveying the area for any sign of life, usually my hairless feline companion Ripley, would make his appearance at this time and proceed to stake himself out under my dresser directly across from my bed, lying in wait for me to poke my toes out from underneath my duvet and stretch, then like everyday he would make his move; carrying out a very calculated attack on my toes. Although it didn't hurt as much as he had planned, I suppose my feelings were slightly wounded. But today, not like any other day, he was no where to be found. My alarm screeched to life and I sat up slowly. I reached over and tapped it gently to silence it and an eerie quietness filled my small box room. I crawled to the end of my bed and holding onto the edge of the bed, thrust my head beneath it among the debris. There my usual attacker lay, striped sock in hand or paw I should say, glaring at me with his piercing blue eyes. I sigh, he knew exactly what was going on. He knew just as well as I did that today was not at all like any other. I glided off my bed and onto my belly, keeping myself at eye level with him. He stared back as I reached my hand under my bed to pull at the striped sock he had claimed, coaxing him to come out. He followed the sock carefully with his eyes and slowly crept out from under the bed to stand beside me. I shook the sock a few time, eliciting some playful swipes from him until he shook his head, his black collars silver bell chiming with him and rubbed himself along my shoulder.
"I know, I know. I don't want to go either,"I whispered to him. We stayed like that for a minute until I heard footsteps outside my bedroom door. My door flew open and a tornado of brown curly hair entered. "Come on, up and Adam! Today's the day, Lú! We need to get you packed and ready to ship out into the new world!", Rosa Wells my foster mom for the best six months along with her husband Sean, ripped my curtains open letting the bright morning sun make its appearance. I'll be honest, they were the best people I knew although at the start of our introduction I didn't exactly know that. I gave them the worst time ever, torturing them with long days of silence and complete isolation. But who could really blame me? Both my parent were dead, burned to death in a house fire cause by tiny kernels of popcorn in a pan and a faulty smoke alarm. I was completely and utterly alone, no grandparents, no siblings, no next of kin. And to be left basically homeless and alone isn't exactly cloud nine for a seventeen year old, oh and fyi ,"hey it's okay! We can whip you up a new family just like magic and everything will be perfect again," isn't the ideal headline to throw on a brochure for foster families, that is if they had one.
I guess I was lucky though, I got two loving, understand and caring new parents. What more could a girl ask for? Oh right yeah, her real ones. But it didn't always stay like that, things with the Wells did get a lot better! I was enrolled in a new school, with new friends and good grades. I got a new room and cool stuff and even a cat. Honestly my life was pretty great at this stage, but it didn't stop how painfully awful I felt inside. I missed my parents more than anything in the whole entire world. They were the best, my mom Saoirse, was a preschool teacher and she was amazing at her job! Everyone loved her and she was absolutely stunning. A shock of red hair and emerald green eyes and a whirlwind of contagious laughter. And my dad, David he was a college biology professor. He studied general science in college and decided he wanted to "expand the minds of our future generation" as he so often put it. He was tall, with dark brown hair and blue eyes and constantly making jokes and always looking for the opportunity to mention something about science. I was their only child, which made life kind of lonely but I didn't really mind.
I was finally settled with the Wells, finally felt at home and part of their world. I was started to feel okay again, that was until yesterday when my social worker Linda called. I answered it and knew stray away from the tone in her voice that something was up, no cheery hello or chit chat about how school was just a firm,"Hi Lúna, if you wouldn't mind putting your mom on the phone I need to speak to her urgently". I knew things weren't okay in that moment, it felt like my whole world was going to fall apart. My new parents had talked about adopting me before my 18th birthday so I would actually become their daughter legally, keeping that in mind I watched their faces crumbled as Linda explained that they had found my next of kin. I didn't want to believe it, I locked myself in my room and refused to talk to them. It wasn't fair, I'd be uprooted from one home only six months ago only to be ripped from another. My chest hurt from the build up of emotions and I wanted to scream and cry but I couldn't. Maybe I was numb from all the pain. Maybe I was just at my breaking point.
Thaddeus Lockharte, childhood friend to my parents apparently. I didn't understand why they'd choose him, I didn't even know who he was! I never met the man in my life but it seemed like some apparently test of maturity. My mind races with emotion, how could they do this? Ship me for to someone I barely knew?! And for what, to see if he could handle the responsibility! It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair at all.

"You okay Lúie?" Rosa's soft voice pulled me from my inner monologue, her concerned eyes glued to my face. I might as well mention now that I have a handful of nicknames that I'll accept and that was not one of them. It was already shit enough that I was named after a month. Really, who calls their child July?
I sighed, shoving myself off the floor and nodding. "As good as I can be" I muttered. She smiled weakly, and pulled me into a hug. I breathed in, trying to commit her scene to memory. It was a mixture of lavender soap and perfume. A real mom kind of smell.
"It'll be all okay in the end, and if it's not okay it's not the end" she repeated her legendary saying cheerily and pulled away from me smiling. She looked around my room surveying the mess."It's crazy to think when you go, that all of this will go with you" she sighed, sounding detached. I nodded in agreement not dating to speak invade my emotions betrayed me and made my voice go weird. Leaving me to pack, she left my room and I heard her down the hall, talking to Sean . "I can't bare this," she was saying,"she's like our own, how are we going to let her go?" Her voice sounded strained and sad. I closed my door, the pain in my chest growing as I pulled my huge brown suitcase out from under my bed and began to throw my clothes inside, preparing myself for the awful day to come.

Okay so there we go! First chapter, it was really really long because I couldn't stop writing hahah!! I hope it's okay and I hope you enjoy :) comment below and I'll hopefully I'll get back to you.

❁Love Rose M.❁