The Perks of Being Too Beautiful

Ch8; Lost Family

Chapter Eight

I am in the passenger seat of Cullen's car. He decided to take me home after what happened. I haven't said anything to him ever since I stormed out from his grasp. I'm still upset at him. He doesn't say anything either and concentrates on his driving.

I stare out the window like how I usually do. We're not going the regular way home. I don't question him because he does this often. Always wanting to see new sights.

Imagine Dragon's "Demons" is playing. Cullen places his hand on my thigh. I don't hold his hand this time. I lay my head back and fall asleep.

When I wake up, I'm in my own bed. I guess Cullen found my keys through the junk in my bag. I hear a clutter coming from downstairs and I assume it's him.

Coming down, the smell of cookies surrounds me. It smells like they just came out from the oven. It's my favorite.

My father and I used to make cookies whenever he came home from the army. I'd always anticipated his arrival because no one made cookies better than he did. We always made the same type, too. The ones that would smell like cinnamon, and pumpkin, and all of these different spices. It was our secret recipe.

But one day, my father did not come home. Instead, another man in a uniform came. He whispered something to my mother, and her eyes immediately filled with grief. Then, he saw me, and I smiled. He smiled back but it looked sad. He bent down to meet my eyes. "What's your name, little girl?" he asked.

"Aria!" I smiled cheerfully.

My smile seemed to sadden him because he looked down, trying to wipe his watery eyes. I got filled with concern. "What's wrong, Mama?" I asked my mother. "I made him cry."

"No, no," the man said. "I'm just..." Then, he looked at me with a forced smile. And with his all his might, he said words that would be hard to tell a five-year-old like me.

"Your father isn't coming home."

It took me about a year to register that my father was dead. I was only five and I couldn't bear the news. I didn't understand at first. I asked innocently if it was because my father had to go for a longer trip. My mother had to explain to me the best way she could that he's not coming back. Ever. I waited by the door for him that night.

And nights after that.

It was a small ambush, the man explained to my mom when they thought I was sleeping. It was a small battle at a place that was also small. Not many died. But my father did. He was shot from behind, just where the neck and scalp connects. They couldn't save him.

They couldn't save him... and now he's gone forever.

Cookies never tasted the same after that. They weren't as good as my father's. It wasn't the same. But the smell wafting around my house is definitely my father's cookies. I still remember the smell after all these years. But how can it be?

I had the thought that my father was in the kitchen making those cookies and ran downstairs. But I immediately remembered that can't be possible. He is gone. But who could be making these cookies?

I hesitate to turn around the corner to see who is in my kitchen. But when I do, I see my mother.

"Aria," she says smiling, holding the tray of the cookies. My father's cookies. "I made your favorites."

I stare at her blankly. I can't describe what I felt at that moment. Anger? Maybe, but not quite. I didn't feel sad or mad or happy either. I missed her but I wasn't glad to see her. I felt... disappointed. That it wasn't my father staring back at me. That she kept her affair from me for so many years. Thats she had the nerve to make these cookies. My FATHER'S cookies.

Her face became full of concern. "What's wrong, sweetie?" She steps forward to give me a hug. I shift to avoid her reach.

"I know about you and Casper, Mom."

I don't look at her but I know she's surprised. She gasps and steps back nervously. "Since when..?" her voice trembles.

"That's besides the point!" I ball my hands into a fist. "The point is that you and Casper have been fooling around since who knows how long, and you kept this from me!" I glare at the cookies. "And you had the nerve to make Dad's cookies!"

I make eye contact with her and she can see the pure hatred in my eyes. Her eyes look glassy, and that's when I feel a little guilty. But I don't want to show her that. "Aria, I'm so sorry.." she says.

"Sorry? SORRY?! For WHAT? For lying to me? For lying to Cullen?! At least I knew my father loved me before he left, but Casper left Cullen by choice! Cullen has never believed in love or kept strings tied ever since! And I find out that the reason Casper left was... because of you? I feel equally responsible for Cullen's pain!" I am furious, but I am choking back tears. I turn around so she doesn't see me cry.

She doesn't say anything, and we stand in silence for a long time. I can hear her sobbing. My tears roll against my cheeks, too.

"I'm sorry for everything," she whispers.

"Obviously not sorry enough to not do

it," I mutter back.

"Aria, please understand," she says. "Your father died when you were five. I was left alone to raise you and your sister. Casper... I mean, Cullen's father was kind to me. He helped pay for Marcy's intuition and for our food. We needed him."

"He left Cullen's family when he was only eight, Mom. How do you think Cullen feels?" I couldn't stand how much pain Cullen bears by himself every day.

"You really care about him," she says.

I look at my mother strangely. Where is she going with this? "Well, yes. He's my best friend. Of course I'd be upset when he's in pain.."

"You really do love him, don't you?"

I blush at that. "Yes, mother."

She opens her mouth to say something else but chooses to just nod instead. She walks to the door. Before she

leaves, she turns around and says one

more thing.

"I'm sure he feels the same for you, too."