Hello! It's Katie, and I'm here to talk about the people I hate the most, The Football Faction. I would just like to give you a little description of each member and rating them from 1-10 in douche-ness. (All of the names will be changed.)
Ryan: (Ryan sounds like a douchebag name right??) Ryan is #1. I don't know if he was actually on the football team, because I only went to one game. He was on the basketball team though, despite only being 5 feet on the dot. All the girls like him, even though he's the biggest misogynist I've ever met. And he's a mouth breather too. He said that he's gonna be on the Yale Basketball team despite having C's all his life, and saying seven times seven is 46. Hey, I guess you can dream.
Douchebagness-11/10
Stephen: Stephen's pretty funny, and isn't that douchy. Kept a girl friend for a year and a half, and he does okay in school. But there's two things that land him on this list. One, he's best friends with Ryan. So he's a DBA (Douche By Association.) Second, he just won't cut his fricking hair. His hair is the longest out of the entire football faction, and he refuses to cut it. His girlfriend has shorter hair than he does.
Douchebagness-5/10
Jack:Just go read the last chapter again. Already said too much on him.
Douchebagness-10/10
Matthew: Matthew says "No Homo" after LITERALLY EVERYTHING. He just seems like he always needs to prove his masculinity to girls. So yeah.
Douchebagness-8/10
Ethan: Ethan's in my Spanish class, and always hits on My Spanish Teacher's daughter. He's sent a couple dick pics in his day.
Douchebagness-6/10
Carter: Carter is actually my friend. He's funny and kind of nice. He also recently cut his hair, so he doesn't look like a girl!! I am adding a posing because he called his girlfriend a "dumb ugly floozy" while they were dating.
Douchebagness-4/10 (Because he's a DBA.)
Wyatt: Wyatt is a fucking mouthbreather. Wyatt and I were friends last year, but then out of no where he texted me "You're such a fat ugly whore, I'm blocking you." He's also dating the biggest mouth breathing girl at our school. They could probably set a world record for the couple with the lowest IQ ever.
Douchebagness-7/10
Dylan: Dylan is HOT. Like really hot. He's also very nice too. BUT, he posts like 20 shirtless pics everyday on Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat. Not cool.
Douchebagness-3/10 (He's a DBA.)
Peter: Probably the nicest in the football faction. He sits next to me in Texas History, and he says I'm his bestie. He's been dating my friend for TWO YEARS. Crazy right!?!?! He's pretty much why I still have faith for the Football Faction.
Douchebaggness-1/10 (DBA)
Owen: Owen is in my Spanish class, and he's REALLY good at football. Probably the only one on the team who should be allowed to brag about his skills. The only downside, he dabs ALL THE FRICKING TIME!!! Like bro, can you just not dab after EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that comes out of your mouth.
Douchebagness-2/10 (DBA)
Michael: Michael was kinda my friend last year, but isn't this year. He's kind of decent, except he always asks me for food and I'm like "No. Leave me alone." THEN HE KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE FOOD. LIKE BOI THIS IS MY FOOD. NOT YOURS. BACK OFF.
Douchebagness-4/10
Of course that isn't all of the football faction, but those are the main people, and probably a lot of the people that'll show up in this book.
Much love,
Katie (katerslloyd)
