The next day, I wake up and everything is so unfamiliar. I'm so confused. Tally was already up, and probably out smoking a cigarette, Mom went shopping, and Mikey went to his girlfriend's house. I hear something. Someone is downstairs, rifling through our house. I reach for my phone forgetting that it's downstairs on the counter. Shit. I'm so fucked. I slowly open the door, walking out close to the wall slowly yet efficiently, putting all my weight on my heels and rolling it onto my toes. Don't ask why but I have been calling it "The Sneaks". I get down the stairs, and I hear footsteps. They are getting closer. Shit, they must've heard me. I sneak back up to the top of the stairs, behind a wall. I peek around the corner as fast as I could. no one is there yet. I quickly run and slam a door, and then run back to my original hiding spot. The intruder begins to run up the stairs toward the door I slammed. I notice who he is, the squatter. The one who threatened to rape Tally. I come out of hiding, and he jumps, his eyes widen, and he freezes in fear.
"Hey, man. I didn't know. Please don't hurt me.", he says.
"So... you still haven't learned?", I say.
ust then I hear the front door open then shut.
"I'M HOME!!!", Mikey shouts.
Mikey!", I yell. Instantly, Mikey runs to see the trouble, almost instantly putting the squatter in a choke hold.
I'm sorry!", he screams,"Please don't hurt me!!"
Mikey hold him in place as I cautiously walk around them. I call the authorities and they show up in almost five minutes. They take the squatter from Mikey, put him in cuffs, and put him in the backseat of their Crown Victoria. I walk out of the house watching the squatter being escorted away. As the car starts to move, the squatter signals to me: he runs his finger across his throat, signaling I'm dead.
Just then, the house bursts. Mikey! The damn squatter messed with the gas line or something. I fall onto my back, and I'm looking up, not knowing what I should do with myself. I see a piece of Mikey's uniform float down and land next to me; I grab it and it is his patch. The one that says his name. Mom gets home, and she doesn't know what to do either. I put my arm up giving her the patch. She screams. The emergency vehicles and personnel arrive once again. I'm going numb from all the pain, I have lost another person of great importance to me. Mom breaks down, which then causes me to break down.
I want to kill myself. I can't deal with all this pain. Joey, Dad, and now Mikey. Who's next? Mom? Tally? I'm so scared of losing everyone. and everyone is slowly being taken from me. I don't know if I can do this. I lay there in the grass, I can't help but to scream.
"I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!", I scream as loud as I can.
Mom looks at me, and Tally was walking towards me as soon as I said it, but I was unaware of her presence. They both just sit and stare because I have never broken down so much that I scream that I want to kill myself. Mom walks over to me and puts her warm, arms around me, Tally does the same. They both sit there and they hold me as I bawl my eyes out.
"I love you so much, baby.", Mom says with a scratchy voice from the sore throat you get when you cry," Please don't kill yourself. We all care about you and want to help you."
"We really do, babe. I want to help you. You are such a strong person. You have withstood all these painful things. I'm so proud of you, and so is your Mom", Tally says.
"Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm just so overwhelmed with everything. I have to deal with the jocks, Mr. Lutz, losing Dad, Joey, and Mikey... I feel so incomplete in a way. I don't know anymore.", I say.
They hug me even tighter. I feel safer than I did. I put my arms around them both and I pull them in closer, we all just share the moment.
"I love you two so fucking much. I can't live without either of you. Mom, thank you so much for always being there. Thank you for supporting me, honestly it means the world I have a mother that cares because not everyone has that. Thalia, thank you too. Thank you for showing me that people do care. That there is always a reason to live,whether it's family, friends, or something stupid, like a driver's license.", I say.
They both smile, and they say there responses. We all get transported to a hotel, we are starting fresh. We get new clothes, since the garage is pretty much concrete, my instruments we undamaged. We took the car and grabbed whatever could be salvaged. We picked up our safe, with our legal documents in it, my instruments and other equipment, and some of Tally's stuff that wasn't incinerated in the fire. We drove to the Best Western of Highway 55. I get three of those luggage carts for us, I take my instruments, and stuff, Tally gets her stuff, Mom gets her stuff. I pay for the two rooms, one for Mom, and one for Tally and me. I pull my luggage into the room, I leave room or Tally's cart. I go and I lay on the bed accompanied by Tally. We lay there and look at each other.
She puts her hand on my face. I have a weird feeling that she is trying to seduce me. She moves closer and kisses me, softly and she puts her leg over me. She is now on top of me, kissing me. She is getting more furious as she continues to kiss me. I'm so scared I don't know what to do. I've never had sex before. I push her head away. Tally gets off, she notices that I'm shaking and scared.
"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away.", she says.
"It's ok, it's just me being stupid to be honest.", I say.
"You're not being stupid, in fact you never act stupid, you are just not as comfortable as I am.", she says, "And that is perfectly okay."
"Okay, thank you so much for understanding.", I say.
She hugs me, and gets in closer and cuddles me, and puts a blanket over us. We flip on the television is the corner and watch The Simpsons from our bed. Well, she didn't, she closed her eyes and cuddle me with a passion. I don't even know how describe it, she just put her hand on my neck, and the other around my back. I have my hands wrapped around her stomach, and back side of her waist. She eventually fell asleep, and I lay there awake, with the girl of my dreams snuggled up close sleeping next to me, while I watch Homer strangle Bart over a stupid reason. I look at the clock and it says 10:00pm.
It only feels like it's been half the day, it seems like it should be two. The only difference is that I'm tired as hell and I'm usually more awake at two. Anyway, I just lay there, waiting for that familiar thing call sleep. I lay for hours, but I get even more awake, I eventually close my eyes, and press my lips against Tally's, it calms me down, and I start to feel tired, then as I watch the time tick away, I eventually drift into sleep.
Today, was a long hard and painful day. My soul has been pretty torn by life, but i'm working on stitching it up. I have found new ways to cope with my issues, think about what my long lost loved ones would think if I was to do something stupid with my life. It will prolong the impulse to cut my arm even more. I have found a plus side out of my long, dark day, which is extremely rare...
