SAFE

As Always

I sat my feet dangling over the edge of the boat. She sat next to me, she put her head on my shoulder. Our breath mingled, the world felt peaceful, her hair tickled my neck, our lips played. My eyes closed then opened. We looked out at the world. At the blue stretching for miles, safe I thought. Finally. Safe. A moment. This moment. I would never forget, I would always hold onto. 

London was bustling with people. Noise came from every corner and smell filled any empty cracks. I stayed on the boat. Victoria. I had thought about changing the name. Changing it to my wife's name. Annie. But Captain, my captain had named this boat. I could never erase his memory in such a way. I had waited all morning, not wanting to leave the boat, the world out there. London. Where I used to live seemed so far away. I never wanted to turn back, I was safe on this boat, as long as my feet never touched the ground. I was safe. 

Many of my men had left the ship a second before our anchor hit the sand sea floor, wanting desperately to be filled with terrible ale and to rest easy with a less than pretty lass. But I had little need of these pleasures anymore. I had my wife. I had my ship. And I had plenty of bad ale I hid in my cabins away from the preying eyes of my crew. They had one day and one night I had said, to case havoc and flirt with mischief. They had one day and one night until they were to be back on my deck. Waiting upon the lonely souls that would be traveling with us to Boston. I withheld half of their pay to reassure their return, some my call me dirty, some my call me smart. Who is to say which is right. 

I slept soundly that night, not a floor board on my ship creaked, not a loud game of cards ended in a fight, not a presumed silent act of love was made in the closet, nope. Nothing, just the slight purrs of my wife as she slept. I rarely woke her when she slept. I loved to watch her chest rise and fall, I loved to listen to the sound of her breath telling me stories of what her dreams were filled of. She looked so at peace. So happy. So simply. So human. I laid back on my pillows wondering what I looked like as I slept, I could hardly imagine myself looking like her. I was never calm, I was never at ease. Not really. I sighed, louder than I had intended, her left eye cracked open. She mumbled. What did you say? She mumbled again. She rolled her head across the pillow, away from me, yet exposing her neck. I loved her neck, that physical form of vulnerability. I softly sank my teeth into her neck. Her mumble turned into a moan. We then filled that empty ship with sounds of our own making, weather they were human or animal even I do not know. Our bodies sang together creating a pure melody not one musician could follow. 

That next morning when I cracked my eyes slightly, hoping desperately to be met with sunlight streaming though my cabin window. I was met with a wave of disappointment. No this was London, cried the ran on my window. This is London cried the rain on my deck. I grumbled, my eyes shifted to my wife displayed completely across our bed. I realized how little space I had taken up. How much of a ball I had become as sleep had claimed me. My head was still a fog and sleep still called my name yet through the fog I heard something, a sound, a banging on my wooden cabin door. I rose and pulled a loose pair of pants that had found themselves tossed upon the floor and underneath my sagging bed I found a loss shirt and my hat. I cracked the door open the grey world still managed to bring pain to my eyes.

 "Did I wake ya?" my first mate pushed into my room before I grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him out. 

"Ah sorry, Ya wife asleep" I nodded. My mouth not willing to move just yet. 

" Put a word in with the local pub, said they would let people know their is a cheap journey waiting for them if their desperate". I nodded again and begin making my way up across the hallway and into the kitchen. I put on the stove and slumped onto a wooden stool. 

"God mate you sleep last night" 

"Why are you here, no desperate lass to be found? or have you simply done them all, nothing new?"

"nah, left her at the inn"

"classy"

"You know me"

He touched my thigh. I hit his hand with a close by spoon. There would be a bruise there tomorrow. He did not flinch, simply removed his hand and picked up the kettle as it began to scream, he poured it into a mug and threw in some tea. Put the mug in front of me and left. 

"Be back by five. Make sure the rest do to"

"As always captain"