Love Disorder (Lesbian, Girlxgirl)

Chapter 1. Introduction

To my inner Uno and Blaze who never left me alone.

Chapter 1. Introduction

I loved to play this made up game called What Could I Tell You. What could I tell you about your personality based on your clothes, your hair, and the way you talked? What could I tell you about someone I was close to? You get the gist. The game was simple. There was no reward for a correct answer. But it kept my mind occupied, plus it was fun if I happened to observe a person from afar and found out that I was right in guessing his personality.

So what could I tell you about my mom? Her name was Estella Chance. Single parent, in her early fifties. She never married but still had a daughter after adoption. I could tell you that she was a good soul from the way she'd love to donate to charities, to how she'd try to extend her sympathy to others. She kept her brown hair short. Said it was a bother to fix it every time.

Mom used to bake me cookies. Not just any plain cookies, but the ones with M&M's and caramel, or whatever I wanted. Though work occupied most of her time, she has never forgotten to take care of me. Mom also bought my first sketchpad after she learned that I wanted to take fashion design in college. It wasn't even Christmas or my birthday that time. She gave it to express support.

They'd wear your clothes someday Riri, she would say. I can't wait to see it. Mom was just like that. A good soul. A good mother. A person with goals. Except now all those descriptions were in the past tense. Today was mom's funeral. I was orphaned for the second time.

My best friend Carter made his way to me. He was dressed in black like everyone in attendance. Despite having dark circles around his eyes, he still looked sharp in his suit. His curly hair was even slicked back. I should thank him one of these days for his efforts. "What can you tell me about me?" I asked when he was near enough to talk to. He knew about my game and would sometimes play it with me.

"I don't think now is the time for this. Everyone is leaving." The funeral just ended. After saying the prayers and covering the coffin with soil, people made a beeline for the exit. Of course they expressed their sympathy to me. Most of them cried. Like I said, my mom was a good woman. I stayed behind, looking at the spot where she was buried when they were all gone.

"What can you tell me about me?" I repeated.

He leaned down to wipe dust from his shoes. "You're Riri Chance, my best friend from high school. Seventeen years old, recent graduate, no boyfriend since birth. Your perfume has a hint of musk and lavender. Oh, and sometimes your big, bright almond eyes are scary, especially when you're looking in space like that." I threatened to slap his arm.

"Okay, okay," he surrendered. "I can tell you that aside from being the most stubborn person I know, you're also unbelievably emotionally stable." I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You didn't cry," he said. "It's your mom's funeral. You're allowed to. Crying is not a weakness, especially if it's tearing you apart."

I avoided his watchful eyes. "Go ahead without me. Tell your mom that I'll come home later. Make up an excuse. I'd like to be alone for a while."

"You sure?" He sounded worried.

I put my back to him. "Uh huh."

"Don't take too long." I heard his retreating steps. I've been staying with them for a week since mom's passing. It wasn't a permanent set-up, but since I didn't have any other relatives to come home to, Carter's parents were more than happy to let me stay until an arrangement comes up.