Take the Hope for a Good Life

Thirty-Three

LA, USA
December 24th
Miley's POV

It was River's birthday was today, and every year when it comes around I think about the time in the backseat of Liam's car...him telling me what to do and me actually listening to him. Liam and I started fertility treatment around June or July. I figured I'd be pregnant by now, because we were planning on having another baby after Bradly was two. It was starting to piss me off, it seems like every time we try it takes longer and longer for us to get pregnant. I wanted to have the baby around April or May but it's already December. If I get pregnant now, I'll have the baby around September which I want to have it in the spring time. I don't even know why but I do. I was hoping Lindsay and her kids would come today to spend some time but I don't quite know because the kids' dad deserve to see them around Christmas.

"Mommy is Andy gonna come today?" River asks, eating his cake.

"I don't know, buddy. It's Christmas Eve, so Lindsay might have taken Andy and Shelby so they can spend Christmas Eve with their dad." I say, then River frowns. "Oh, c'mon River. You're spending your birthday with your parents and brother." Then I kiss the top of his head.

"Okay. But it isn't Christmas Eve, it's my birthday."

"No River, it's both. You were born on Christmas Eve. That's why you're the best Christmas present I've ever had. And Bradly was born the day after daddy's birthday. That's why Bradly is the best Birthday present he has ever got." I explain.

"Mommy are you gonna have another baby? You said you were. Why isn't your belly big yet? Is the baby small?" River asks.

"There isn't a baby in my belly yet, River. There will be one soon hopefully though. We're trying to get on in there, though." I say, reassuring him.

"Yup, soon River." Liam says, then picks Bradly up. "Miles, have you taken a test lately?" Then I shake my head.

"No, I haven't." I say, then Liam hands me Bradly. "Wait what are you-" Then Liam goes into the bathroom and comes out with a pregnancy test in his hand. He then takes Bradly from me and hands me the test.

"Here."

"Mommy what's that?" River asks, pointing to the test.

"Uh, it's gonna tell me if there's a baby in my tummy." I say.

"Go, I can keep the kids entertained for two minutes." Liam says.

"You're lucky I gotta pee." Then I take a deep breath and go into the nearest bathroom.

I got in the bathroom and sat on the toilet, then peed on the stick. I got up and placed the pregnancy test on the counter while I washed my hands. I grabbed the test and went out back to Liam, shaking.

"How long?" He asks.

"A minute..." Then I took another deep breath, waiting for the time to run out. When the minute was up, Liam and I took a deep breath.

"Longest minute of my life." Liam says, then I look down at the test and started to cry. "Are those happy tears or sad tears?" He asks confused.

"Liam...I'm not pregnant." Then he frowns and puts Bradly down, then embraces me.

"Shh, Miles...you'll get pregnant, it'll happen...we just gotta give it some time. It'll happen." Then he kisses me, then I go and throw away the test. Then Liam takes care of River's plate and fork, and I pick Bradly up.

"Mommy, how come Bradly never talks?" River asks.

"He talks, he just doesn't do it often. He's just not as chatty as you were when you were his age. Plus, he's only going to be two next month." I say, reminding River.

"Oh yeah! Okay!" Then I smile and kiss Bradly. "Can we play?" River asks, then I nod and take Bradly to the living room to put him down.

"Go ahead." I say, then kiss River's head before he goes to play with Bradly. Then I walk back into the kitchen and Liam hugs me.

"Don't worry, Miles. It'll happen." Liam says reassuringly.

"I hope so..." I reply.

"I have a question..."

"Yeah Liam?"

"What if it's another boy? I mean, the more times you have a boy the lesser chance you have of having a girl. Same goes for girls. And you've had three boys technically already."

"Yeah...Michael Joshua, River Aiden, then Bradly Blake." I say, agreeing. "I don't know though, I just have a feeling that I'll have a girl. Even if it's another boy I'll still love it the same. I'll just be the only woman in the house. But I'm telling you, I need to have one now. I'm already thirty-one. And you're gonna be thirty-four. I don't wanna have one when I'm like, forty then raise a child when I'm middle aged. That's when I wanna be done with kids." I say.

"Okay then let's have a baby now."

"Liam, we're trying." I say.

"I know, I know. Can your dose go up? What is it at now?"

"Fifty and it can go up to one-hundred and fifty but it needs to go up by fifty at a time only. Why?"

"Because I was thinking you could get a bigger dose. Because the last time when you needed a bigger dose you got one, then you got pregnant. Maybe you just need a higher dose." Liam suggests.

"Maybe, I don't know. I'll talk to Dr. Walsh tomorrow over the phone."

"Okay."

"Okay." I say, then Liam smiles and kisses me. Hopefully I can get pregnant soon, because I don't want to and hate waiting...