The Blue Assassins

XXI

  I stare at the floor as I sit on the bed. River's bed.

  He told me to wait for him here and I grudgingly did what he said. I convinced him to talk to Alexander to change the sleeping arrangements because it'd be too awkward sleeping beside River. Plus too overwhelming for me considering my old feelings for him...

  I forced myself not to look around at his room, which proved to be very difficult. I always dreamed of being his room, laying on his bed with him, talking about irrelevant things, simply loving him. And him loving me.

  Definitely a dream. It always ended that way. That's how it'll be forever.

You're going to marry him, Blair! That changes things! Drastically.

  Sure, we're getting married. But not because we're in love.

You're in love with him.

Well...maybe. It'd be one sided though.

Who knows? Maybe he'll fall for you. I mean, you're pretty and nice.

There are girls out there who are beautiful and amazing. So I'm not the best choice River has.

But it's what he got. Now stop self hating and start self loving, girl! Have some self confidence for crying out loud.

But...

Oh shut up! You're not a helpless little girl. Be as strong as you look when you're fighting, alright?

I'll try.

I didn't ask for you to try. I asked for you to do it. No hesitation, no matter what.

Okay. Alright! Fine!

Good. Be a queen. River calls you that so you might as well be one.

I'm a queen.

Yes, you are. Stop talking to yourself now. River is back.

I look up and River gives me a small smile.

"So?" I stand up and he looks at my stuff on the floor of his room.

"I should call the guys to move this to the other room."

"Yes!" I smile widely and River chuckles.

"Don't get too happy. I managed to persuade my father to change where you sleep. But where he has chosen for you is not your original room."

I furrow my eyebrows, "Then where am I going to sleep?"

River rubs the back of his neck. "My mom's room. Which is the empty room across from mine."

I open my mouth slightly and he nods. "Oh. Are you...are you okay with that?"

"Of course. She's dead. It's not her room anymore. It was just an unoccupied room until now."

"No, River."

River sighs, "I know, it'll always be her room. But I just want to put it to good use."

He smiles at me and I smile back. "You're a good use, my queen. The best."

Maybe there is a chance he'll fall for me.