The Science Bros. Collection(Requests open)

Ugly (Bruce Banner X Reader) ~Trigger Warning~

Originally posted by: http://theavengersdirtywhispers.tumblr.com/

Ugly

(Bruce Banner X Reader ~ Trigger warning)

A/N: Based off of a Tumblr post by Dirtyavengerswhispers. The reader is very upset because she's called ugly and many other names by people. She has an unsavory way of dealing with her pain all the while not even telling her Avenger friends or Bruce about anything. *WARNING reader cuts themselves in this story so if you don't like this kind of thing then turn back now!!!!*

Smile and hide. These were the two essential things that were apart of you. Smiling meant that you could pretend for a second that you were happy. Hiding to you was what you did to try and ignore the depression that deeply overwhelmed you. You lived with the Avengers, something that only lucky people got to do, then again you were Bruce Banner's best friend and girlfriend. The other Avengers were like your family and always tried to interact with you as the day went on. Sadly no one knew...they didn't see behind your bedroom door at night when you would lock it behind you. Steve was like your dad and you could never tell him because he was prone to overreact, Tony was the older brother you wished you had growing up and would listen to you about anything, but him and Bruce were always so busy, Nat was like a sister, but like Steve would probably overreact and make a mountain out of a mole hill, as for Clint he was like a little brother that always tried to make you laugh, and Thor he was basically the one that was fun to be with even if he was a little louder than the others.

Making a mountain out of a mole hill was always an expression that meant that one would overreact or make something bigger than it was. Depression was nothing like that, in fact it was the mole hill that grew into a mountain. A mountain that would end up with you wanting to jump off of it and end it, but because you were a coward you couldn't dream of it. You did your best to hide the scars that hide under your sleeves, scars created by the cold metal of a blade, scars that were once dripping crimson. When you would wear your sweaters and long sleeves in the middle of summer the team started to wonder if you were truly "Just cold-blooded" like you had claimed. They didn't know...they couldn't know that at least twice a week you would take out your pain and depression on your ugly body, the fat stomached body with some of the proportions off, you couldn't look at a mirror without crying. The one person that you could never ever tell about this horrible and shady habit of allowing the blade to brandish your skin was the man you loved most. Bruce wouldn't only Hulk out, but he'd probably blame himself somehow or feel horrible about it. You couldn't do it to him or even burden him with your thoughts.

Now you laid unconscious to the world around you from the loss of blood. Your body lay limp and almost fragile as nurses and doctors hooked up many different monitors and tubes. The whole team stood outside in the waiting room, every single one of them expressing their grief in their own way. Tony and Bruce stood alert looking up every so many minutes at the reception desk hoping that a nurse would signal that they could go and see you. Bruce didn't look up from where he studied the floor because he didn't dare show just how worried or sad he was although the look on Tony's face already told that he knew. Tony gently touched Bruce's shoulder causing the other to slightly look at him. Tony's heart broke for his friend seeing the tears spilling out of his tired chestnut eyes. "How could she have done this Tony?" Bruce asked taking a breath and trying to remain calm. "Well from what we saw Bruce she's been doing it for a while...there's got to be something haunting her, something that she was too afraid to tell us" Tony explained before slowly raising one of his sleeves. "You wanna guess where some of those came from?" Tony asked pointing out one of few scars that still littered the skin of his forearm. "We are no better than she is then are we?" Bruce asked causing Tony to look at his friend confused. Bruce slowly unbuttoned a button on his shirt and revealed a long scar running diagonal along this hair and skin. "No we're not. It's how we deal with depression because it hurts. You know what it's like to be afraid to ask for help Bruce, I know you do because when I first met you and you told us about trying to shoot yourself it was a reminder to me that I'm not alone. We need to tell her that, we need to let her know that we're not mad at her and that she doesn't have anything to fear. That we're here for her and that we can help her through whatever it is that is bothering her" Tony said earning a nod of approval from Bruce. "How do we get Cap and the others to see that though?" Bruce asked glancing over at them. Cap was drawing something that the two could only guess was a get well card, Natasha was lying on the hard couch next to Steve curled into a ball, Thor was standing in front of a vending machine waiting for a snack although the dark clouds outside suggested that he shared the same somber as his comrades, and Clint was perched on one of the rooms many rafters spying at the world beneath him although his facial features were unusually hardened in silence. "Show them your scar. They might not feel as upset if they know that her reason was out of fear and depression" Tony said simply and walked back over to the chairs with Bruce in toe.