CHAPTER 1 -Who won One Direction's VIP tickets?
I don’t know where I am now. I’m lost. Pretty lost. Actually, I know where I am. In French class, next to the window. Not lost in this way, more likely, lost in my thoughts. Yes, that’s it. I’m lost in my thoughts. Actually, I don’t know where I can stand, because my world is falling apart. I mean, I’ve lost everything that once cared about me, or pretended to.
Actually, I never really know if they cared, but at least, I wasn’t that alone at school, I think. I used to lunch with them and to hang out once to twice a month, but there were nothing more. Maybe, Evelyn was the only one with who I was close enough. Only because we were in the same class, and well… I don’t know. I guess just because we once talked more than two minutes. Actually, I don’t know. However, now it’s just me. No more Evelyn or whoever came in my life. Because they all left me behind, knowing I wasn’t that good enough for them.’’
-Miss Roberts, would you like to answer my question?
I thought for one second: why am I here? I could be anywhere else I want; In Brazil with my uncle, in Boston with my lovely grand-mother or at the cemetery, right beside where my aunt lay. Stop it Kar! You got to go to school. You got to start living with people that are alive around you. You have to get some fresh air and to let your books and your sad though behind you. Because they’re holding you back from everyone.
I came back to my French class, leaving my thoughts for the time I have to answer to her question. I look at the black board, trying to find what the teacher was talking and I finally found it:
-Of course I do. To conjugate the verb ‘’to love’’ in the present is: J’aime, tu aimes, il aime, nous aimons, vous aimez et ils aiment, I answered in my best French-accent.
I was in fact happy I could prove to my teacher I was paying attention to her class. And not to say I’m really confident and all, because I’m not, but I am really good at school. Actually, I do way too well at school. I got at least ‘’A’’ in almost all the subjects, excluding the Art class, because I am really shy, and I don’t really fancy it when people hear me sing. Not because I don’t have a pretty voice. In fact, I think otherwise because my parents keep telling me I do have it, but I don’t want all the students at my school know I’m singing.
Why?
Simply because I don’t want to do fun of me. I don’t know for you, but once people get to know you or to know what you love to do, they will use it against you, one day or another. So, I prefer to keep this personal, in the case that maybe one day, students will use this against me.
How?
I’m still trying to figure it out, but you know at high school, an inoffensive thing can becomes a massive weapon against someone and take him down. But when I say down, I mean really down. They can take your happiness and sometimes, they just take everything from you, pieces by pieces.
Finally, one hour and fifteen minutes later, the bell rang. I put all my stuff in my bag and leave the class quickly, not making eye-contact, by fear someone will say something hurtful.
