Seijin: A Coming of Age Love Story [girl x girl]

Chapter 6

When I was a child, I loved nothing more than to sleep. My mother always used to tell stories of taking me to see doctors as a baby because I slept through the nights when I was supposed to be doing the opposite. Growing up, New Year's Eve was always a challenge as I could never make it to midnight without falling asleep on someone's lap. They would take me to the shrine, asleep on my father's shoulder, to ring in the new year and pray for a year of health and happiness. Even the day my brother died, I slept in the hospital waiting room and could not be disturbed.
    And for the first time, at age twenty, I found myself unable to sleep.
    Thoughts of Kurumi swirled wildly around my head. I thought of her messy kitchen, the crisply made bed. I thought of her slightly uneven teeth when she grinned, I thought of the way her hair fell over her neck as she lay on the floor, I thought of the feeling of her ankle against mine, the soft caress of her thumb on my hair. These thoughts filled me with excitement and warmth and a fire that frightened and confused me. These thoughts were not normal, I knew that much. Never before had I ever thought about Naho's scent or what it would feel like to have my high school best friend Eri's hands on my back. These were not thoughts that a young woman was supposed to have about a female friend.
    Was I simply drawn to her because she was beautiful? Was I curious? Was I lonely? I could not wrap my head around it and all I could manage to do was stare at the light of the streetlamp peeking between the curtains and try to root through my confusion.

    On top of it all, school began at the start of April and I had to deal with a new schedule, new classes, new teachers. Satsuki and I had signed up for many of the same classes but the start of the new term still filled me with anxiety. Kurumi had distracted me but the Monday after our unsuccessful hanami outing dragged me back to the real world.
    It had been over a month since I had seen my friends, but it felt like it had barely been a week. We met at the front gate of the university our first day back, cherry blossoms drifting through the air. Naho wore a ruffly dress made of a chiffon-like fabric, a daring fashion choice for an art student. "Juri, I'm so sorry!" she cried and pulled me into a hug. "I shouldn't have left you all alone, I'm sorry." She snuggled her round cheek against my arm and I patted her on the head. To be honest, I hadn't really had a chance to miss them. My attention had been so focused on Kurumi.
    "It's okay, Nacchan, I wasn't lonely," I replied with a smile, but it wasn't entirely true. I had been a little lonely. I wanted nothing more than to talk to her about these confusing feelings, but I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. Whatever I was feeling, it wasn't something I could expect her to understand, and I was not yet ready to risk it. It was something I had to figure out on my own, I decided, no matter how lonely it felt.
    We chatted about Akita and how her parents were doing. Her brother was starting high school and she showed me the photos her mother had sent. While Naho took after her father, her brother looked more like their mother, especially with those gray eyes of his. He was handsome, I told her, but she just scoffed and said I had bad taste.
    Satsuki brought us snacks from whatever international destination he had visited. We sat in the lecture hall before class, eating and catching up. Shige-senpai dropped by as well, his hair sticking up as if he had just rolled out of bed, and Naho quieted immediately. Even though she tried to be nonchalant about it, I noticed the way she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, and I was reminded of lunch alongside the Arakawa line tracks...
    "Wanna grab food real quick?" Satsuki asked as we packed up our bags after our lecture. I slid my pencil case into my bookbag and glanced at my watch. It was just a bit past noon, and my next class wouldn't start until 1. "Senpai should still be on campus, maybe we can finally get him to show us that gyuudon place he won't shut up about," he smiled good-naturedly and pulled out his smartphone from his back pocket.
    I felt guilty saying no to that sweet face. "Sorry, Satsuki, I can't, I have to get some things done before my next class. You and Nacchan should go ahead without me, let me know how it is!" I forced a smile. A promise was a promise and I tried not to notice how crestfallen he seemed.
    "Oh..." He rubbed the back of his neck as if trying to hide his disappointment. "We're still up for later, right? I need to get a new pair of headphones and I wanted your expert opinion."
    "Sure, Satsuki. Now, I gotta run."
    I hurried out of there before I changed my mind and before he could ask me about my plans. School or no school, I still had my lunch hour at the 7-Eleven.
    There was no sign of Kurumi when I stepped into the air conditioned store. Once again, the lunch crowd had cleared out the shelves. Skipping the magazine rack, I hurried from aisle to aisle in search of that black ponytail.
    "Whoa," Kurumi explained as she materialized from the back room and nearly crashed right into me. She placed a hand on my shoulder to steady herself and beamed at me. "You surprised me! You're early today."
    She slipped past and began to restock cartons of tea. I followed and stood next to her, pretending that I was just trying to decide what kind of juice I wanted to drink. Glancing at her face, I noticed she wore a new lip gloss in a shade of raspberry. It suited her and I traced the outline of her lips with my eyes. "I have a break between my classes."
    "Aha, that's why."
    "I have to head back soon. So I won't be able to eat with you today, I'm sorry."
    "That's okay, I'm cutting out early anyway."
    "How come?" I was surprised, she never missed work if she could help it.
    "I'm getting dinner with my friends." She placed a carton of lemon tea on the shelf and then paused, deep in thought. "...Do you want to come too?"
    "Me?" I blinked at her. "To dinner?"
    "If you don't want to, that's okay too. But, uh, it's with my friends from before? The ones we stood up? They were disappointed they couldn't meet you."
    I started to smile involuntarily at the thought of her talking about me to her friends.
    "It's just a casual dinner, anyway. Food and drinks, the usual."
    "I'll go."
    She looked at me for a moment and then broke out into a breathy laugh. "Okay. Great. I'll text you."
   
    Naho and Satsuki were disappointed that I couldn't go shopping with them after class, but I didn't want to be late to dinner. I didn't even have enough time to change my clothes, and I had to quickly refresh my makeup in the station bathroom.
    I had been standing in front of Harajuku Station for ten minutes when a pair of hands came out of nowhere and hooked themselves around my arm. I turned around with a start and found myself face to face with a grinning Kurumi. "There she is!" she gushed cheerfully.
    She was followed by a group of five people. At first I didn't register that they were with her until I realized they were all smiling at me -- except for a small woman standing at the center of the group.
    "Everyone, this is Juri-chan!" Kurumi pointed at me and waved for the others to come in closer.
    "H-hello," I bowed awkwardly. "I'm Matsuzaka Juri, it's nice to meet you..."
    "That's Kazu," she pointed to a large, burly man with a full beard who looked to be in his mid-thirties. "Tsuru-chan;" the frowning, waspish woman with long, flat hair; "Mio-chan," a chubby woman not much older than the two of us with permed hair; "Kuma," a short, stocky middle-aged man with dyed red hair and tattoos showing under his rolled-up sleeves; "and Taka," a plain boy who looked to be my age. I bowed my head to each of them; Kuma and Kazu returned the bow, Mio waved, Taka offered a small smile, but Tsuru just looked at me flatly.
    "Now that we're all acquainted and best friends, let's go!" Kurumi yanked my arm and led us down Takeshita Street.
    "Matsuzaka-san," the man called Kazu sidled up next to me once Kurumi had let go and let me fall to the back of the group. I immediately felt bashful next to the adult man, his thick hairy arms and overgrown facial hair striking me as unbelievably mature.
    "K-Kazu...san... right?"
    "Sakai Akikazu," he said with a gentle smile. "Kurumi calls me Kazu and it stuck, but you can call me whatever you want."
    "Sakai-san," I decided.
    His smile widened momentarily. "'Tsuru-chan' is Tsuruga Rie, by the way. I think you'd be better off calling her Tsuruga-san, at least for the time being."
    I glanced at the petite woman shuffling ahead of us. "Is... is she angry at me for something?"
    Sakai's laugh was pleasant and friendly. "No, that's just her. Don't worry about it, she's bad with strangers."
    I decided that I liked Sakai. "What about the others?"
    "Well, Taka is Ono Takao, he likes Taka just fine. Mio's last name is Kimura, but I think if you called her by her first name, she'd be happy. And Kuma is Kumagai Hirotsugu. I haven't quite figured out what he likes, so you can call him whatever you like." His eyes crinkled pleasantly at the corners when he smiled.
    "Tsuruga-san, Taka-san, Mio-san, Kumagai-san, and Sakai-san," I listed the names, mentally matching them to these new faces.
    "And then there's Hana, but you already know her."
    "Hana?" I looked up at him quizzically. There hadn't been a sixth person, had there?
    Sakai leaned down to speak quietly. "Fujibayashi Hanako. That's Kurumi's real name. I'm not surprised she didn't tell you, she hates it when anyone calls her that."
    I was alarmed, though it made sense. "Kurumi" was not a common name, practically unusual. I knew that she had neglected to tell me much about herself at all, aside from her taste in music and her job at the convenience store, but I hadn't imagined it extended to her real identity. Perhaps I should have been hurt or insulted that she hadn't told me. I had thought I had befriended a young woman named Fujibayashi Kurumi, not Fujibayashi Hanako. But all I could feel was fascination. She hated her given name so much that she would hide it from the world.I'm 
    "It suits her," I murmured. Fujibayashi was lovely enough, wisteria forest, but with the addition of Hanako, meaning flower child, it was beautifully elegant.
    "Maybe," Sakai hummed as we crossed Meiji-dori. "Personally, I think her nickname is pretty good, too. 'Walnut.' A friend gave it to her, saying it was because she's cute but tough to crack." I couldn't help but smile at the comparison. I wondered if I would ever be able to break the walnut to see the flower underneath.
    "Heyy, you two," Kurumi called to us from the front of the pack, "what are you flirting over there for? I'm gonna tell Mayuko-san that you're cheating, Kazu!"
    Startled, I took a wide step away from Sakai and he laughed heartily at my reaction.
    The okonomiyaki shop was away from the main streets of Harajuku and shared a building with an art gallery often used by college students. I had been there only once before when Naho's drawing class had held an exhibition, but I hadn't noticed that there was a restaurant attached as well. The restaurant was held in a two-story house with seating in the various rooms. We got a table outside on the back porch, though it didn't feel like it was outside. A tent stretched out above us to protect us from the elements so it felt entirely contained. In fact, I wouldn't have noticed that we were sitting outside at all if there weren't trees growing through holes in the porch. The walls of the house, both inside and out, were painted with murals. According to Sakai, the murals changed slightly time to time.
    I sat in between Mio and Kurumi and across from Kuma, who turned out to be a quiet, polite man despite his intimidating appearance. He couldn't have been any younger than forty, but his cherry red hair and tattooed arms gave him a tough, youthful edge. On the other hand, Mio was sweet and pleasant. Although she was heavyset, she had an adorable and lovable vibe, and while her wild, permed hair and heavy gold jewelry were rather garish, I found her entirely pleasant.
    "Do you all work together?" I asked as the first round of drinks came. Most of the group split a pitcher of beer, but I had a small flavored chu-hai, per usual. I was curious as to how this group of people, all different in age and style, had become such good friends.
    They looked at each other as if trying to remember how they all met. "Not all six of us together, no," Mio said with a smile. "Rie and I both work at Tsutaya, the video rental store? Kurumi and I met when we both worked at Lawson and Kuma was there with us too. He still works there."
    I tried to imagine Kuma heating up my bento, asking if I wanted chopsticks.
    "So the three of us met first... then I invited Rie, and Kurumi started bringing Taka along."
    "I work at 7-Eleven," Taka explained. His voice was quiet and high, making him seem much younger than he probably was. I wondered if he was even out of high school.
   "And Sakai-san?" I asked, turning to the bearded man at the end of the table, looking comically oversized.
    "He and I work at the izakaya together," Kurumi explained after swallowing a mouth full of beer.
    "Izakaya?" I looked at her. "You work at an izakaya too?"
    "Did you think I could afford rent working part-time at the convenience store?" Kurumi seemed amused. "I work evening shifts at an izakaya in Shinjuku. I thought you remembered?"
    I looked at her blankly. "Remembered what?"
    Kurumi laughed loudly and sloshed her drink. "I saw you. You and your friends. When was it... that really snowy day, Seijin no Hi, right? You came in for drinks."
    Suddenly I remembered our waitress that day at the izakaya. The lighting was low but her face was beginning to come back to me, the way her dark ponytail fell over her shoulder as she placed our drinks on the table...
    "Ahh!" I cried out and pointed at Kurumi. "The waitress! The one Senpai nearly--"
    "She was so pissed at that senpai of yours," Sakai chuckled. "She came raging into the back and told me she almost punched a customer."
    "Juri-chan, your mouth is open so wide," Mio giggled girlishly. I was completely at a loss for words.
    "I completely didn't remember, I'm so sorry," I said in a hushed voice. How could I have been so dumb to not even recognize that I had seen her before?
    Kurumi smirked and ruffled my hair. "It's fine. I'm not mad, I just thought you knew."
    "More drinks!" Tsuru raised her glass roughly. "I want to celebrate, dammit!"
    "That's right!" Mio cheered. "We came here to party! Let's not waste our nomihoudai time!"
    "Kanpai!" we all cried and clinked our glasses together. "What are we celebrating?" I asked innocently and was met with raucous laughter.
    "She's clueless, isn't she?" I heard Taka said to Tsuru, who snickered.
    Mio cocked her head to the side quizzically. "What do you mean? It's Kurumi's birthday."
    It took a moment to process what she said, but when I did, I immediately turned eighteen shades of red. "It's your birthday?" I asked, looking at Kurumi in disbelief. She just shrugged.
    Anger did not come to me naturally, but even I couldn't hold back the burst that bubbled up in my chest. "How could you not tell me?!" I gave her a soft whack on the shoulder. "I didn't get you a present or anything!"
    "That's why!" she protested. "You'd just make a big deal out of it. I don't want that."
    "You still should have told me," I tried not to look at the others at the table. I didn't want to imagine what they thought of me.
    "Anyway, our Kurumi is now twenty-three years old, so let's drink!" Mio changed the subject.
    However mad I was at Kurumi for not telling me she had invited me to her birthday party, I soon found myself enjoying myself again. Her friends were a lively and energetic group. Even the stoic Kuma and Tsuru loosened up after a few drinks, the latter breaking out into a passionate rant about her boyfriend forgetting about White Day. Kuma, who revealed himself to be divorced, was as pessimistic as I had expected, but had a cutting sense of humor and comedic timing.
    I did not talk much myself. After they had finished asking the usual courteous questions, such as my age, what I was studying, where I lived, etc, they fell into a comfortable rhythm of inside jokes and friendly conversation. It was obvious that they did this a lot, and it was oddly comforting to listen to their back-and-forth. And after my earlier humiliation, I was thankful to be forgotten.
    Kurumi and I hadn't acknowledged each other much, but as we were nearing the end of our allotted time and had finished our okonomiyaki, she suddenly drooped onto my shoulder. "Sleepy..." she mumbled as she rested her head on my arm. A hand snaked around my waist and I hastily glanced around to see if anyone was looking. They all seemed to be distracted seeing how who could chug a glass of beer the fastest, so I let Kurumi rest for a moment and my heart race.
    The streets were empty when we left. It was not yet last train, but all of the shops and cafes that made Harajuku so popular with young trendsetters had been closed for hours. The streets, which were usually so cramped and crowded, suddenly felt spacious, and our footsteps echoed on the pavement.
    Taka and Sakai had broken out into song, dramatically singing the theme from a sports anime that was often on television. Mio and Tsuru and Kuma chatted and laughed at the men ahead of them, and that left Kurumi and me in the back.
    Kurumi was drunk so we were moving slowly. She had no problem walking on her own, but she kept leaning against me and it made it difficult for either of us to keep up with the others, who all had the full use of their legs without intrusion. "Juri-chaaan," she cooed and hugged me around my shoulders sloppily. "Juri-chaaaan, thank you for coming to my birthday."
    "You're welcome," I replied, gently pushing her off. Hot hands encircled mine, and I allowed us to walk down the dark street holding hands.
    "You know, Juri-chan," she began to sound a little more sober, but her feet still moved clumsily. "I really did think you remembered me. I thought the reason you talked to me that first time at the store was because you remembered me. I thought you wanted to apologize, or at worst try to give your senpai's number or something."
    I didn't know what to say.
    "But then you just wanted to be my friend, and I was so happy, y'know. A nice, pretty, smart girl wanted to be friends with someone like me..." Her voice trailed off.
    "Kurumi-san?"
    The others were already a block ahead and didn't seem to notice how far behind we were. Kurumi stopped walking and looked at me solemnly. I could barely see her face in the darkened alley so I couldn't tell if she was sober or drunk. The singing grew fainter and fainter.
    "Happy birthday, Kurumi-san," I whispered and it seemed to echo. Slowly, Kurumi let go of my hand and reached up to touch my cheek.
    And she pressed her lips against mine.
    The kiss lingered for a moment and my mind had blanked out completely. I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing but the soft warmth of her breath. My heart turned to liquid in that moment, and then it was over as quickly as it had began. Without another word, Kurumi turned away and began to hurry after the others.
    What could I do? I followed.