Loving the Barumbad-ass (Completed) 8

Chapter 26.

Love...

Pictorials done, baccalaureate came and graduation will come soon in two days.

And what she's feeling the moment is sadness, the complete opposite of what a graduating student should feel after completion.

She remain in pain and it felt like a steady ache. All she wanted is to be alone and grief by her self.

Mamamatay Na yata siya Sa kalungkutan.

She's pushing everyone away including arianne, Brett and Bernard. Lagi Lang siyang nagkukulong Sa kwarto after school, She just want to be alone. That's all.

She wants to stood up and be ok by her self not by someone helping her to. She wants to do it alone, until it's over. Until the pain will subside, until she's ok, until she moved on.

One day. Eventually.

Things didn't went good for what she heard from her mom about Dorothy and vince.

All of her mom's side family went furious the moment they learned about Dorothy, though Vince family remain calm that as if they can handle what the bad ass did.

Both parties had the talk about the situation but she don't want to hear whatever it is. She don't care no more, all she wanted right now is to teach herself to stood up from tripping.

Inatake Sa puso Ang mommy ni Dorothy and she's in hospital now, her dad was also mad very mad about Dorothy's situation though they cannot do anything for it happened already.

Halos araw araw busy Ang phone niya Sa pagtunog, Kung Hindi tawag ay tadtad naman ng text Ang laman nun. It's either her friends or cousins but she ignore it instead and turn off the phone. She's not ready yet.

Hindi din siya pumunta ng dumating si Dorothy from singapore with a big belly ng makita niya Ang post ni arianne Sa facebook, kahit Nung baby shower Nito.

She can't. She really can't.

Mahirap magpaka martir, mahirap magpanggap, mahirap magpaka tanga at higit Sa lahat mahirap kumilos Na para bang wala Lang Ang nangyari.

Seeing Dorothy ay Mas lalo lamang siyang masasaktan and thinking that the child she's carrying and the father is Vince.

It's too much, it's a torture and she can't contain the pain anymore.

It's just so unfair dahil Sa dinami Dami ng Tao Sa mundo, Anak pa ng isang kapatid ng mommy niya Na pinsan niya Ang naging karibal niya Kay vince.

Karibal nga Ba?

To think Dorothy was the first one who met Vince Hindi siya.

It was Dorothy who had Vince first not her.

It was Dorothy who knew Vince first.

And Dorothy is his wife now and the mother of his child.

Wala siyang karapatang mag inarte dahil Sa simula pa Lang ay si Dorothy at Vince Na talaga.

But If only they blow the truth kahit Nung simula pa Lang, things won't be that hard right now.

Hindi sana siya masasaktan ngayon at Masaya sana siya dahil finally ga-graduate Na din siya pero wala Na din siyang magawa dahil nangyari Na.

Kailangan niyang masaktan para Sa kaligayahan ng iba.

For the sake of the child, Ayaw niyang maging dahilan para mawalan ng ama Ang bata at higit Sa lahat ayaw niyang maging dahilan para magalit Sa kanya si Dorothy at family Nila.

It's about letting go and giving up, a selfless move for the good sake and even it hurts like hell.

What happened made her realized that love is not ideal. We have all been in love with what could be instead of what exists right in front of us. It's a hard concept for some of us to realize and sometimes, it is even tougher to let go of that concept because it becomes so real in our lives.

Right. The Ideal versus reality.

Knowing Vince unexpectedly and loving him is a great experience which will forever  remain and survive.

That at least at one point in her life she find a connection with someone who makes her feel something special.

She hold on and hope for him, so she stay. But, she stay for all the wrong reasons and sometimes, it is only because of what could have been.

The love of what could have been is something that blindsides so many of us.

You will not understand this concept until you finally realize one day that maybe, what you have been dealing with is just not for you anymore.

Hindi talaga para sakanila, Hindi talaga sila para Sa isa't isa ni vince, it's only the memories will stay.

Hindi talaga sila para Sa isa't isa kahit Nung una pa Lang.

At first When she think of love, she think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

But what happened is another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It's the love one feels when one loves someone she can never and will never have.

She can't have Vince. It's impossible now.

It's the kind of love that doesn't signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies she have heard and watched growing up, lied.

For Love doesn't always end happily. It doesn't always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

That's the reality.

Love is never enough because love is not rational.

When love scars, it cuts deep.

The pain isn't easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. Bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal.

And that's just something she decided that she'll have to live with.

Her choice, now she's hurt. She choose, now she's in pain.

Endure the great pain.

But About time to stood up, move on and start the new beginnings ahead.

It's waiting for her.