I followed Spencer into the basement. I was confused, but Spencer’s swift and purposeful movements knew hell was about to ice over. I tried to hope for the best, ignoring the knot forming in my stomach.
She kicked off her shoes and crept silently down the stairs. I was attempting to keep up with her and take off my shoes at the same time. I tried matching her gait while removing my shoes, nearly falling down the stairs in the process. Spencer barely noticed- her back was stiff and her lips were pushed together so thin they were nearly invisible. Halfway down the stairs, we were consumed by the thick odor of skunk, and I fought to start coughing and to run away. Spencer was not going to let this end peacefully.
She rounded the corner, and towered over the couch, a look of disgust unfurling across her face. The two spread across the leather couch . My heart rate quickened when I saw a pipe and a rather large quantity of weed on the coffee table. I glanced over at Spencer, trying to predict her next move and what I saw cut me to the core. For just a second, a split second that I would have missed had I even blinked, Spencer was afraid. She folded into herself at the sight of the paraphernalia, but she straightened back up just as quickly. At first everyone’s words mushed together, but Spencer got to being the loudest first.
“What the fuck is this?” she spat, pointing a finger at the coffee table. “You fucking know how I feel about shit like this, Ed.” She choked slightly on her words, struggling to keep her expression stiff. “Go anywhere and get as high as you fucking like but you don’t drag this shit into my home.”
“We’ll get rid of it,” Harry and Ed both tried at the same time, making for their things, but Spencer slapped their hands away and stared them both down.
“No. I want it gone.” The boys simply stared at one another, mouths agape in genuine fear. “Well, get to it.” I was confused until I realized what was really going on: she was going to make them smoke it, the entire ounce, until they puked. Spencer stepped back, dragging a chair over to sit right in front of them, and she got one for me too. She didn’t even speak, just pointed to the seat and I didn’t hesitate to move. She was in a zone, and quite frankly I was afraid to piss her off more. I bit my lip, and Harry looked up at me; he seemed worried, but he also was very, very high. His eyes were already painfully red and his face was completely relaxed despite the nervous energy he exuded. Ed was the first to put the newly packed pipe to his lips, tipping a zippo lighter to burn out the plant. He knew what he was doing and he took a long drag. He didn’t hold it in long, and Spencer coldly cocked an eyebrow at him. It didn’t matter how little he inhaled, with the number of small inhales they’d be taking, it didn’t matter. He did it once more than passed it to Harry, who coughed brutally with each hit he took. I wanted to comfort him, but I couldn’t betray Spencer in the midst of her wrath. Instead I just stared, hoping to god he wasn’t going to hurt himself. When I looked at Spencer during one of his coughing fits I knew she was worried too, but I also knew she’d end it before anything got out of hand. For now, they were being punished and rightfully so.
Spencer’s mom had used a lot of drugs when Spencer was growing up. That’s the reason Lee left her; she couldn’t take proper care of the girls. Spencer told me about weekends when Lee would leave to go hunting with his buddies and her mom wouldn’t feed her or Kailey, because she’d spend all her money on marijuana and cocaine. She told me how she remembered her mom just sitting cross legged on the couch, hitting a pipe right in front of them and blowing the smoke too close to them. Spencer didn’t force Ed to keep marijuana out of his life, he was a grown man who could make his own decisions, but she had always requested he kept it out of the house.
The weed was nearly halfway gone, and the boys were already too baked to function. They had their heads lulled back, eyes hardly open, and smiled joylessly at random. At one point, Ed tipped his head forward to look at Spencer.
“I’m sorry,” he said slowly and lowly, knitting up his brow. He rolled his head back again, and I was unsure if he had fallen asleep or if he was just unaware of what he was doing. Spencer let me go put on more comfortable clothes and I sat cross legged on the large chair watching Harry intently. He would let his head rock from side to side, then would bounce his legs for a minute or two before completely relaxing the muscles in his body. Sometimes he’d look at me and his face would light up before his head would lull back again. They were completely and utterly out of it.
“Two more each,” Spencer suddenly declared. “The rest is going down the toilet.” She still sat straight as a board, memories of potheads and burn outs helping her calculate the next couple days. They’d be out all day tomorrow, and be sluggish for at least the next two days. Extremely slowly, they each did their final share, and just lay there, heads lulling. Suddenly they both shot up, moving faster than they had all night, and ran for separate bathrooms. I heard vomit hit water. I couldn’t hear Ed gagging or making really any noise at all, but Harry was being very, very loud; his deep voice groaning nonsense into the echoing toilet. “Your call,” Spencer told me, picking up the pipe and the bit of leftover weed. She was leaving me the decision to pity my boyfriend or not. I shook my head; he needed this lesson. I wanted to take care of him, but he had gone against Spencer’s wishes. Instead I walked into the elevator with her and rode to the top floor. I crawled into her bed while she locked the door behind us, and she stepped into the bathroom. The toilet ran loudly, and I heard Spencer smashing the pipe on the counter. When she reappeared she looked tired and upset, crawling under the covers and close to me. “I’m a bitch, a psychotic bitch,” she groaned. “But they know, Ryann, they know how I feel about it.”
“I know,” I whispered, “they’ll live. They need their asses kicked around a little anyway. She just nodded and began rocking herself to sleep. She dozed off long before I did, and around probably three AM the door knob turned as Ed tried unsuccessfully to open the door.
--
The next morning when we emerged, Ed was on the floor spread eagle and fast asleep. We simply stepped over him, making our way to the dining room. We drank coffee in heavy silence, not even pretending to want food. I wondered how the boys felt, how much they would remember. Around two PM, Spencer and I moved to the back patio, still drinking coffee in our pajamas. Harry emerged from the back door, looking disheveled and very cloudy-eyed. He squinted in the sun, looking down at me.
“I’m sorry,” he grumbled, wiping his eyes. He straightened his back, holding his arms behind him. He was shirtless and with how tall he was, I was eye-to-eye with his belly button. “Spencer, I’m sorry I disrespected your house.”
“Thank you, Harry,” she said softly, keeping her gaze fixed on her coffee. She still felt bad. He returned his eyes to me before scooting me to the edge of my lawn chair and lying beside me.
“You don’t have to like me anymore,” he told me and I rolled my eyes.
“You’re so dumb.”
“I’m serious.”
“I honestly don’t care Harry, just don’t disrespect my sister. And you apologized so…whatever.”
“Are you sure?” I wasn’t sure. I was uncomfortable with the idea of him smoking, but I tried to bite my tongue. I didn’t run his life; I was just his girlfriend. So instead I nodded, and he relaxed. He shut his eyes though it was obvious he was still struggling. I placed a hand into his curly mess of hair and began winding pieces around my finger, occasionally giving him a little scratch, until he finally fell asleep. An hour later Ed emerged from the house, blinking blearily in the afternoon sun. Without a word, he and Spencer disappeared to have what would probably be an incredibly long talk. Upon their return, the couple mirrored Harry and I as Ed wrapped his arms tightly around Spencer and rocked her. Despite the evening’s unfortunate events, I knew Ed was made specifically for Spencer and she for him. No matter how hard anything knocked at the stature that was their relationship, it wouldn’t falter. They were steady and they were strong, and as I ran my fingernails up and down Harry’s back I prayed we’d grow into the sort of love they had.
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Saudade
FanfictionRyann knew staying in London with her stepsister Spencer would be exciting- after all, how often does someone get to live with Ed Sheeran, Spencer’s doting fiancé? Little did she know that she would become entangled with Ed’s best friend, Harry Styl...