gay ; phan

1

he was trying so hard not to think about him, but it was so difficult. he knew he shouldn't have a crush on him, but he couldn't help it. he saw it more as a typical school-girl crush than anything else, so it really didn't mean anything, nor would anything happen between them. dan could visualise him perfectly. three hours ago he'd been sitting behind him in english, and he'd practically memorized the back of his head, as well as the left side of his face.

dan knew he had to stop having a crush on him, his parents would be so angry if they knew he liked boys. he sighed to himself and began walking at a faster pace.

history was dan's least favourite subject, mainly because of the teacher. the only reason he didn't despise it was because it was one of the only classes he had with phil .

he also hated it because he had math before it, which was on the other side of the campus, so he was usual late.

like right now.

he walked into the classroom quietly, begging no one would notice him.

"mr howell, hello." the teacher, miss vano stopped abruptly in the middle of her sentence "thank you for joining us, please take your seat." she finished and continued teaching.

by now, the whole class was looking at him, and he wanted to cry, or throw up, or both. he felt like he was being stabbbed him in the chest every time someone else looked at him and his face was on heating up. dan sat down in the closest empty seat, not paying any attention to who was next to him.

"do you understand any of this?" he heard a voice say next to him after a few minutes. he looked up and saw a pair of bright blue eyes. if his face was red before, it was literally on fire right now.

"uh, yeah, why?" he asked awkwardly, looking down at his textbook.

"i don't" the voice said simply, sighing. dan felt phil's gaze shift away from him.

how was he meant to reply to that?

"i'll help you."

"don't worry, i do."

"that's okay, it's a bit hard, but i can help if you want."

all of these options were going through his mind, it was rude not to answer him.

"i- uh, help." he stuttered, his face becoming more red after he said that. he probably sounded like a neanderthal who didn't know how to form sentences.

"what?" phil laughed gently, as he looked back up at dan.

"i meant, i can, uh, help. if you want, i mean, you don't have to, um, yeah."

he heard phil laughing beside him, which made dan want to bury himself alive, he'd probably end up being a mole-person while he was down there.

"would you? thanks." phil accepted as he finished laughing "i could probably help with your english too." phil joked, bursting into laughter as soon as he said it.

dan placed his head in his hands, he saw some good in it though, first of all, everyone else was talking, so the teacher wouldn't call on them to repeat the conversation, also, phil was joking about him, in a friendly way. that's good, right?

the rest of the period was spent talking to phil. in all honesty, they only worked on history for ten out of the sixty minutes they had in class. they mainly got to know each other a bit. it was really hard for dan to form proper sentences, which made phil laugh, a lot. that made dan happy though, because it seemed like phil was enjoying himself, he also had a really pretty laugh. dan pretended to be surprised when phil pointed out that they had english together.

"do you have lunch?" phil asked

"no." dan shook his head "uh, early dismissal." he smiled gently.

"oh." phil sounded slightly disappointed as he looked at his workbook "do you want to hang out after school? you can come over to my house, if you want. we can work on the english assignment." phil offered.

dan wanted to scream, in happiness of course, but scream none the less.

"sure! um, is it, is it okay with your parents?" he asked, playing with the corner of his notebook.

"yeah, they don't get home until like, eight o'clock. they wouldn't mind anyway, especially if i say it's for homework." phil assured "though we probably won't do much homework." phil winked playfully and turned back to his textbook.

dan choked on his own spit looked down into his lap briefly as he heard phil laugh beside him.

phil just winked at him, why did he do that? what was that supposed to mean? was it in a friendly way? or a joking way? or another way?

there was still another 5 minutes of history left, but dan couldn't concentrate.

-

i've deadass had this story in my writing folder since J A N U A R Y

i hope u enjoy bc its been fun to write (im like 6 chapters in???????? shows u how much i write lol)

also im not abandoning alive (which is my other phanfic which you should check out plugplugplug)