The American Nightmare [BoyXBoy]

.:11:.

I ran my fingertips down his features, which were softer than ever as he was asleep. At first, when I came down here tonight, I was paranoid because of the silence. The rational side of me kept saying that it was because it was the middle of the night and he was probably tired and sleeping, but the worrying side of me took over and I almost did not want to even step down the stairs because of the nearly overpowering paranoia and fear of the possibility that he was not alive. But I knew that I had to, just to do one thing.

I took a deep breath and, with one of my hands lightly holding his chin up while the other caressed his cheek, I hesitantly planted my lips on top of Kellin's. Why? Because I felt like it needed to be done. We came so close to kissing the other day, I had to make it happen. It felt like I was sealing a deal, but there was no deal. It was just the two of us: kissing. Even though he obviously did not know what I was up to, as he was not awake.

It took a lot of my courage to actually come here. First was the problem with sneaking out of my room at 2am, without being noticed. The walls here were thin, but I guess I managed to somehow not make too much noise to wake someone up.

The second obstacle was getting my hands on the keys to the basement. It was just my luck that my parents kept them in their room but, instead of being locked away in a private place, they were simply hanging from the door handle on the inside. I was still very careful to not make much noise, but it was not too much of a worry anymore.

The third, and last, issue was what I would do or say. Kellin would not accept an apology, and I had nothing to apologize for anyway. This had to be done, for the greater good. At least, that was what my parents had told me my whole life. But, whenever we did it, I could not help but feel that slight prick of guilt deep inside of me. I always tried to keep a plain, straight face, like them, but sometimes I just could not. Especially if I was the one doing all of the dirty work.

As soon as my lips detatched from Kellin's, pulling the wings off of the butterflies in my stomach, the man's eyes snapped open. His breath instantly sped up and he frantically looked around, tugging at the restaints which held his arms out on each side of him, amking his body into the shape of a cross. I quickly stepped away, unsure of what I do next. He would be disgusted in me.

It took a long few moments for Kellin to adjust to his surroundings and figure out what was happening but, when he did, his hard gaze fell on me. I wanted to disappear and I knew that coming here was a mistake.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed menacingly, his look threatening. Why was I the one feeling intimidated by him? He was restrained and I had a fully functional body!

"I thought we should talk," I replied quietly, bowing my head low. "I Brought you some food as well, because you haven't been eating."

"I don't want your food and there is nothing to talk about," he spat. "Now either let me go or just leave."

"Kellin, I'm sorry!" I blurted out loudly without even thinking. "This is not what it seems like. We're not doing anything wrong. This has to be done anyway."

Why was I saying all of these things? It was like, with a simple glance, he could get me to spill any of my deepest secrets.

"What has to be done?" He asked curiously, seeming more composed than my although he was one who was tied up in a basement.

"I can't tell you yet, but I can't stop it."

"Is it a good thing?" He asked with a short-lived spark of hope, which was barely existent, then fully disappeared once I shook my head. "And why are you doing this? It's something to do with your whole family isn't it?"

"We're..." I trailed off, nibbling on my lip and searching for the word, "different; special. Most of the time, we're like a normal family but, sometimes we have to make these...sacrifices and do other things." This was the most brief way to explain it without truly giving away everything.

"I've already figured out that it's some sort of Satanic cult bullshit, judging by the upside-down cross that's painted on that wall," he nodded his head in the direction of the aforementioned drawing, "in what looks like blood, and the creepy altar that's next to it."

All I could do was nod my head in solemn agreement with him. That was basically it: a small cult.

"I'm so disgusted in you," Kellin carried on. "We went to church, talked about our beliefs. All of that was a lie too! Nothing you've ever told me is true."

I frantically shook my head, "No, it's not like that!" I protested. "I do believe in God and I went to church, because I wanted to. I'm a Christian."

"Then why are you doing all of these things?" He practically bellowed. "You are literally in a Satanic cult and you call yourself a Christian?"

"Yes," this time, my voice came out in a whisper. To Kellin it probably seemed like total absurd, but it made sense to me. I just supported my family with what they believed in, even if I did not. I did what I knew would make them truly proud of me. Was that not how it worked?

I had had enough of the talk with Kellin. That was the reason for my nightly trip here but, now that it was happening, the nerves were eating away at me from the inside, like an acid burning through me. I did not know what I wanted to even talk to him about - all I knew was that I did not want him to break his promise and really hate me like he said that he did. I just could not accept it. Because hate was such a strong emotion and to hate someone was like wanting them gone; out of your life -  even dead! And I did not want Kellin to think of me in that way ever. I was just doing what the people, who I cared about, thought was right. And they were always correct.

I ended up bringing a peanut butter sandwich with me, to feed Kellin. He talked some more, but I ignored him, watching sweat roll down his bare chest and dampen his locks.

While his mouth was open from yelling at me to let him out, I managed to force the corner of the sandwich inside of it. Kellin protested, but I forced him to eat it. This was for his own good though. Otherwise,  he would die. And I didn't want him to die just as much as he wanted me to die.

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A/N

Ok who else is beyond obsessed with We Don't Have To Dance? Because that has been my jam for the last couple of days.

I've also got some bad news. There probably will not be any updates on either of my stories, because I'm going on holiday for two weeks. If I find an internet connection I might figure something out, but I just really need some time to cool off because I've been so stressed lately.

Thanks for reading!