Cranberry Clairvoyant (Azealia Banks Story)

Will and Meditation

My back was turned. I wasn’t looking at him, but he was probably looking at me. That didn’t matter anyway: the point was that those three words were not directed to him. Not physically, at least.

All day I asked myself, did I really mean to tell him that I loved him? In my mind, I figured I’d be saying it to my grandmother. The words weren’t meant to escape my mouth. I did love Darrius though, but I didn’t know if I loved him, affectionately.

I couldn’t tell whether he heard me say it or not; if he did, he surely wouldn’t show it. I was starting to learn his ways and mannerisms to a T. When the sun blared at what seemed to be its harshest extent as he and I lay in our hammock side-by-side, I felt that it was time to read the poems—another result of my learning him. He always wanted to read at this time.

“Where’s the book?” I sat up and asked. He didn’t give it to me, and for a moment I thought that he actually lost it. But then he revealed it from his pocket, but kept it in his hands, twirling it around and around. He was pondering.

“Hold on for a minute, Zee.” Darrius said. I expected him to sit up but he didn’t, so we just sat there and looked at each other. I didn’t know what he was expecting from me; his eyes said something, though.

My eyes burned a little bit, but I didn’t look away. We stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever, studying each other’s every move without one word. It annoyed me.

“What is it, Darrius?” I asked finally, growing frustrated. He only smirked a little bit before sitting up, not even looking at me.

“Azealia, let’s go home.” He said to me lowly.

“Go home? Darrius, home is Alaska. This is Taiwan.”

“No, home for the rest of this summer is that cruise ship. I say we go back to it.” Darrius offered, still not looking at me.

“And how? With Agnes? Darrius, I’m not up for one of her mistakes again. She’s not a reliable travel option. Let’s just stay here and wait for them to come back to us. If they don’t, we’ll wait for other people to come and rescue us.”  I told him.

“Who? Them?” He shouted at me suddenly, pointing to the four bodies piled one on top of the other near a tree. We didn’t want to bury them, for Darrius feared we would spoil the soil or something. So we left them by the tree to rot until we built up the guts to throw them into the stream to be carried away. “Azealia, if we stay, we’ll die here. And that is not how I want our lives to end.”

“So what do you suggest we do, huh?” I snapped back at him.

“Swim back! Before you protest, we can do it. All it takes is concentration—we always concentrate, and it always brings something good. Every day I discover an ability of mine randomly. Last night, while you slept, I went swimming. My mind was full. And I found that if I stopped stressing about those tribe-members we just killed and focused on the swimming, I swam at an incredible speed. If we do that, Zee, we’ll get there in no time!” Darrius got off of the hammock and stood before me as he explained this, swelling with his famous enthusiasm. I was not amused.

“Darrius, the last time we ‘concentrated’, you turned into a mermaid and I didn’t. Our concentration skills are not all that high if you ask me, and certainly not high enough to swim across the ocean!” I didn’t mean to yell at him, but I had to. Sometimes this kid had a tendency to get a bit carried away.

“But I know we’ll be able to—

“And how do you intend to find the cruise ship, exactly?” I interrupted him, only now realizing that huge missing piece to his puzzle.