"I'm gonna go have a cigarette," I announce as I walk towards the door.
Joe yells after me, "you can do that in here."
I stop and hover at the doorway awkwardly, glancing around. Ryan is holding British boy's hand loosely, and I just have to get out of here. "Nah it's okay, Joe, I could use the cold air." He's not listening, I roll my eyes and walk out.
I'm leaning against the brick wall of Joe's house, I push my hair back and take a deep breath. The forehead is sweating from the crowded, smokey room. And the fact that I'm coming up, I feel my heart beating fast and I feel miles above this town. Like no one can get me. It's bliss. Time goes too fast to think, cars zoom past and lights flash. It's euphoric.
I jump up and down. I punch the wall. "He doesn't own me, I can do what the fuck I want, this is good, this is great." I repeat to myself, smiling.
The crashing of the door closing snaps me out of it, I pivot. Immediately, I recognise the mess of brown hair and beaten up leather jacket. I think I feel my heart stop for a moment.
"Ryan, stop." I hear a defiant voice from behind that can only be Brendon, therefore choose to ignore it. "Listen to me!" He shouts, I take a deep breath, then turn my head to him nonchalantly.
I lean and murmur to Lucas, "I'll catch up with you." He gives me a skeptic look then smiles reassuringly.
"What do you want?" I spit.
He springs into a full speech, but that's just what cocaine does to you.
"I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong, but we were good, you can't deny that. And couples don't break up over shit like this, they work through it. They forgive. I thought we were that kind of couple. I thought we were together forever." I rub my face, I can feel so much emotion rushing through my veins. But that's probably just the coke.
"You and me, we're good. We were happy and I should have realised that we didn't need sex. That you weren't ready." I'm blurting out every last thought to him and I can't stop it.
"I love you, Ryan, so fucking much. I can't be without you."
Suddenly, he grips my wrists and forces me onto the wall. "Say you're sorry." He mutters.
I'm crying by now. "You know I'm fucking sorry, you've heard me say it." He pulls up my hands from by my side to above my head. I groan.
His lips press against mine roughly, pulling away swiftly afterwards. He releases my hands and before I've got a chance to say any more, he's striding away. I watch him walk away, his head jerks to the side to spit on the sidewalk.
My breathing is still heavy from the kiss, and there's a resounding ringing in my ears. Like what you hear after a bomb goes off.
Well that's what we are. A bomb. Ticking, and waiting for detonation, just to leave destruction in our wake. And I'm standing here in the rubble, wondering why it has to be like this.
I'm pacing to catch up with Lucas, and get as far away from Brendon as quickly as I can. "Hey, sorry about that, he's off his face." I explain.
He catches hold of my hand, yanking me back into him. "Slow down," he says, his grey eyes locking with mine. I lean in to kiss him slowly, taking the taste of Brendon off my lips.
I come up for air, leaning my forehead into his. In this moment, his hips are framed perfectly by my hands, the streetlights illuminate his face, I'm so close to him, I can feel his breath. In this moment, he is the sun. In this moment, I can pretend that this is love.
"Let's go," he whispers delicately into my ear, placing a kiss at the top of my neck.
AN- THIS IS SUPER SHORT BUT THINGS HAPPENED I GUESS
