This is what I randomly thought up one day. I'm sorry if it might be sad at some points but I had just read a sad story. THIS IS MOSTLY A RANDOM COMPILATION STORY. I take requests!!! FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, YAOI YURI ANYTHING!! I just have to have...
Ok, so we all know that France and Prussia have birds right? Well why doesn't Spain have a bird? I agree with Romano when I say that TURTLES ARE CREEPY ASS MOTHERFUCKERS! THEY ARE LITTLE REPTILE VERSIONS OF SNAILS WITH LEGS *Shudders* I DON'T LIKE TURTLES! NOT SINCE THE LAST TIME I ACTUALLY HELD A LITTLE TURTLE IN MY HANDS! Wait, let me tell you the (mostly) true reason why those things are so creepy. My girlfriend doesn't even know this yet!!
Ok, it all started with me getting my first turtle as a pet at age 6. Imagine this cute little one inch, little baby land turtle about one inch long. It was my favorite pet that I had ever had up to that moment and I named it Princess Caspiana............ dont even ask........... So, as it turned out, the turtle that I had picked out had some... health problems... It was blind for one and wouldn't eat any food, and if we put it in water up to the bottom of it's shell, it would flip upside down like it was trying to die. I was forced to give it it's food and pick it up by it's shell while it was squirming and trying to escape.
One day, I had to got to school and I told my dad that he must make sure that she didn't drown herself in her water dish thingy and he said ok. But when I came home from school that same day, it was dead. My father had let it drown in the water. So after I cried for it, I was told to PICK IT UP WITH MY BARE HANDS and throw it into the woods. LOVELY! And after it had been soaking in water for seven hours it was all SQUISHY. I could feel the intestines and shit inside of my poor turtle and normally I would have been like, let's cut her open and figure out exactly how she died but it was my PET! I CAN'T EXPERIMENT ON MY PET FOR FRECKLED JESUS' SAKE! So I just sucked it up and threw her outside. It was fine until she hit the ground. SHE EXPLODED! GUTS AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE AROUND HER IT WAS TRAUMATIZING. And if the first encounter with a pet turtle isn't enough, THERE ARE 2 WATER TURTLES IN MY BASEMENT AT THIS VERY MOMENT WHO ARE PRONE TO GETTING OUT OF THEIR AQUARIUM DIRECTLY UNDER MY BED UPON WHICH I AM WRITING THIS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
One is a normal red eared slider and the other one..... NOBODY EVEN KNOWS WHAT IT IS!!! It is slimier than the other, has a natural soft shell and may be a cross between different breeds. here, take a picture.
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ONLY IT IS CREEPY AF AND WON'T JUST DIE ALREADY! WHEN IT DIES I WILL EXPERIMENT ON IT BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS TERRIFYING. Anyway, on with the story, I had to hold the turtles on my lap to bring them home and this little motherfucker stretched it's slimy ass neck UP MY LITTLE 6 YEAR OLD SHIRT. THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S NECK IS LIKE 3 TIMES IT'S BODY LENGTH! SO, while I freaked out in the car IT BIT ME! THIS MOTHERFUCKER BIT ME! I HAVE NO CLUE WHY IT'S NECK WAS SO WET BECAUSE THERE WAS NO WATER IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BUCKET IT WAS IN. Did I mention that they are still alive and directly below me? The normal one is Dr. Jekkhyl and the creepy ass one is Mr. Hyde. It is like, half amphibian and one quarter whatever the picture is of and one quarter snot. creepy ass turtles.
OK RANT OVER! NEXT UP THE TOPIC IS LGBTQA+ RIGHTS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME! ARIGATO GOSAIMASU!
