'Cause I Like Him Too Much

Chapter Twenty

  "I can't stay mad at him, you know I cannot. I love him. But to see him, at this very moment, no. I cannot. I am not that prepared to. I know this is just a simple misunderstanding and we can both fix it if we really want to, but I just can't see him right now and talk about what happened the other night. What if he asks me the same question? You know I do not want that, you know how much it bothers me for Paul and I are doing nothing wrong. And what if I burst out and behave in the way I never want to? I pushed him . Like a child trying to defend himself, I pushed him and believe me, I have never done a thing like that. It was not my intention to hurt him. But I did.... "

  I stopped writing, I didn't know what to write anymore and I didn't want to end it with rants. I closed my diary and hid it under the bed. I was in a siesta and I wanted it to carry on, so I lay down again and tried to get some sleep. I had to make up some stories. Like me, not feeling well, having a headache. Been spending most of my time in bed for almost two days, I did that to cover up what happened when I got home with swollen eyes and a haggard look. Besides, my head did ache due to my heavy cry. And I told Aunt Anne George wasn't able to take me home 'cause he got sick and passed out. Anne Aunt didn't seem convinced with my statement. But she had to buy it, she should not know what did happen back there. I don't want anyone to know about it. Not her. Not Paul.

  Someone's footsteps came approaching my door and knocked, so I covered myself with a blanket and pretended to be asleep. The door creaked open and from my blanket I peeked, to see if Aunt Anne would make me doze some of her nasty tablets, again. Well I had to take them if I don't want to get busted. It was her, but no medicine or a glass of water was with her, except she was talking to someone. And I heard my name.

 "Yes.", I saw Aunt Anne entered, I shut my eyes. "What she needs is a good sleep..", 

 Now who was she talking to?

 "Both of you must be very tired from that party, George.", she said.

 George?! What is he doing here? 

 "Aye, Ms. Grant. I'm sorry I couldn't take her home by myself that night.", I heard George's voice from the corner.

 "Ah, it's alright son. Hannah told me you were sick too.", I felt Aunt Anne sat down beside me, patting my shoulder. "Do you want to wait for her to wake up?"

 I waited for George's response. 

 "No, it's okay. I'll just come back next time.", he uttered.

 To be honest, I wanted to get up and see him face to face, but what was I thinking? 

 I heard George and Aunt Anne left, I let a minute passed before I got up and changed my sleeping gown and put on my usual clothes. You can't stay here forever Hannah, you've got work to do. I fixed my bedding and just in time Aunt Anne came back and was surprised to find me not lying down anymore. 

 "Are you feeling better now?", Aunt Anne asked. 

 I nodded. I wasn't enjoying it, the fact that I lied, kept bothering me although I knew I did it for good. I told Aunt Anne that having a good sleep made me well, that I could go back doing the house chores and errands again, but Aunt Anne hesitated. 

 "Don't rush yourself, Hannah."

 "But I'm alright, Aunt Anne."

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   I finally got Aunt Anne to let me do the work, and she sent me to the haberdashery  to buy some new needles and threads for knitting. I walked my way to the store, although I needed to cross the other street and walk pass the big pub there.  I wanted to be away for a while, thinking if George was still disappointed. To be honest I wanted us to talk, I wanted to apologize for I got my faults too. But how to do it, I don't know. 

  I paid the items on the counter and went out, carrying a small paper bag. On my way back home, I saw a bunch of guys standing by at  the side walk, having a smoke. They were laughing hard at each other, giving punches. They looked like the obnoxious group of boys who teases girls and little children, making fun of them and pissing them off. I went passed them. 

 "Hey, beauty!", I heard one of them called, whistling. "Why you walking out 'ere alone?"

 I ignored them and kept on walking. That was the best thing to do, I think. But another one caught up with me, and blocked my way, "Want us to go with you, doll?"

 "Er, no thank you.", I gave a scant reply. 

 "We strongly insist, Missy."

  There were three of them. No four. I was surrounded with these unknown grinning faces, who knows what they wanted from me. My senses were tingling, that left me with no choice but to push them aside and go away, starting with a little run. I heard them laughing as they shouted that they would find me even if I'd try to run away. I didn't look back but  kept on running straight ahead, it didn't matter what direction I was heading to, I had to disappear from their sight. After a minute of running, I looked around, they were gone. That was a good thing but the problem now was, I wandered a little away, I couldn't find the street where Aunt Anne's house and  the Cavern Club are.

  I was in the place near the waters, where the boats and ships were parked. It is called sort of a port. Only it was cleaner and more of a place were people liked to go and unwind. I wasn't familiar with the surroundings. It felt like I was away much from Matthew St. I sat on one of the concrete bench, facing the waters under the greyish gloomy sky. I stayed calm, knowing that I would still find my way home, I would just ask some of the people for directions. At least I was now far from that group who gives me the creeps. A gentlemen came nearby, I immediately asked him for directions.

  "Excuse me sir, I don't know much of this place, but will be you be so kind to tell me how to go back to Pixton Bldg. in Matthew Street?"

 "Matthew Street?", he scratched his head and smirked. "Sorry, Miss. I ain't livin' here and I don't know where it is."

 "I understand. Thanks anyway."

 "But, my friend knows probably. He's born and raised in the ol' Liverpool.", he explained to me. He waved his hand in the air, calling out from a distance. "Ey!! Georgie boy! Need your help 'ere!"

 His friend was riding in his bike when he approached us. "What is it  James?". Wait. I knew that voice. By golly, it was George! We were a bit surprised to see each other, he got out  of his bike, smiling at me. "I see you're already well, baby.", he said to me. 

 I still couldn't speak. The man I asked, the one he called James was in sort of shock too. "You knew each other?", he asked.

  "Yeah, she's my sweet darling. Her name's Hannah.", George patted his friend's back. I smiled at James and waved hello, and he did the same thing. "Well, I'll see you around James.", he bid goodbye as he went near me. His friend walked away, it seemed like he still couldn't believe that I was George's girlfriend or whatever you call it. 

 I looked at George but didn't say a word.

 "I miss you.", George gave me a quick smooch."I'm sorry, babe. 'Bout what happened."

 I kept being silent but I smiled at him. I forgave him. He knew that.

 "Want me to take you home?." he asked. 

 I nodded. 

 "But why are you here, love?"

 I told George what happened, that I was chased by these men and I ended up being here. George frowned a little and held both of my arms and asked, "What did they do to you?"

 "No worries, I got away. I guess they got nothing to do but do bullshit."

 George giggled. "I never heard you cursed before.", he wrapped his arm around my waist as we sat down together.

"Well, it's true! What those dumb arses do is bullshit!"