Recalculating

Chapter 3

Gina's knees buckled for a moment and Tamika took charge. Gina had only swayed, not even staggered, but it had been enough for Tamika to clap her hands together and start herding Gina and Mercy toward the break room.

"Come on. No one's fainting on the floor. Come on, y'all. We can work this out." She pointed at Gina with a long, manicured nail, painted with a yin yang. "You need to get your blood sugar up."

Mercy was following behind Gina. And Gina sensed Davis was behind her too. "Personnel Only" read a plaque on the door. Tamika pushed it open and a cloud of fumes came out.

The break room had apparently been painted earlier that day. The walls were a loud Tiffany's blue. A ratty couch and five folding chairs were pushed in from the walls. All the informational notices about choking and worker's rights and minimum wage were stacked in a pile on the counter near the microwave.

Gina took one of the folding chairs. She did not want to sit on the couch and have this lookalike girl sit next to her. Mercy did sit on the couch, and Davis sat next to her, holding her hand, though she didn't seem too happy to have it held.

Tamika went to the fridge and got out a bottle of Sprite that had a post-it that read: Tamika James. She then poured some into three of the mismatched coffee cups that sat on a draining rack.

Looking at Mercy was eerie and irresistible. She had Gina's face and eye shape and nostrils and hair color. She had the same faint circles under her eyes that Gina had. She wore more makeup than Gina, so there was eyeshadow to take into account. Mercy looked like someone had given Gina a makeover, Gina realized. Mercy was the After.

No one had yet spoken, which was odd.

Tamika came and gave Gina a cup that read: SONY G2 Hi Def Hi Value! She passed out the other mugs. Davis drained his like it was a shot of whiskey.

"Well," Tamika said. She sat down on the folding chair next to Gina. "You two got plenty to talk about, I guess."

"You're my sister," Mercy said. "Right?"

"I guess. I was adopted," Gina said. "So that must be how this is happening. I didn't... I didn't know about you. My father told me to come here."

"Kind of a dick move to do," Mercy said. "I mean, what, he couldn't come with you?"

Gina couldn't respond to that because her throat was closing up on her, and tears rising in her eyes.

Davis looked at Mercy with surprise. He leaned forward, "It's okay," he said.

"Mercy, don't be like that," Tamika said.

"Sorry. It's just... I found out I had a brother too," Mercy said. "And my mom gave him away, so there's that."

A brother. Gina closed her eyes for a moment.

"Drink your Sprite," Tamika told her. "You look like you're about to keel over."

Gina drained the mug and set it down onto the carpet tile.

"When's your birthday?" Mercy said. "We can't be that far apart."

"May 19," Gina answered. Then she shook her head at her stupidity. Of course Mercy was asking for the year, not the day. But Mercy's mouth was opening up and then they spoke in unison.

"Nineteen ninety-eight."

"Motherfucker," Mercy said. "We're twins."

The lights were sharp and the shadows bending. Gina felt like she might throw up. Davis was reaching out a hand to her. "Put your head down!" Tamika was insisting. "Put your head down."

Gina cradled her head in her hands. Tears were falling from her eyes now, and because her face was perpendicular to the floor, they just fell straight on down, right from the corner of her eye.

She felt Tamika's warm hand rubbing her between her shoulder blades.

"Okay, I'm going back to work," Gina heard Mercy's voice say. Then Tamika hissed at her, "You can't just leave her here!"

"Yeah. I can."

"She's had a shock," the handsome guy said.

"Well, me too, and I'm not freaking out," Mercy snapped.

Gina sat up. She rubbed her eyes with her fingers, trying to brush away the tears.

"You're right," she said. And the mean girl was right. She was totally falling apart in front of these strangers. God, she had to pull herself together. "I'm going to go."

"Just like that?" Tamika said. "You guys don't want to, I don't know, go get dinner? Something?"

GIna backed to the door. "I know where you are. And your name. Mercy."

"Mercy DeCesar."

"Mercy DeCesar." Gina had her hand behind her, on the doorknob.

"Wait!" Tamika said. She turned to Mercy. "You're not gonna get her number?"

Mercy shrugged. Mercy, Gina realized, didn't give a shit. At least she didn't in the moment.

"You let me know if you want to meet our mother," Mercy said. "But I'll tell you right now, she's a piece of work."

"I had a mother," Gina said. "She died five years ago." She found she was holding her chin up high, mirroring Mercy's posture. She felt defiant. She could not give a shit, too. She cold be tough.

Then Tamika had to go and say, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your mother, honey. That's very sad." And Gina's felt the damn tears coming up again. She turned her back just as they overflowed her eyes.

She was frozen with misery. She knew what she needed to do - open the knob. Step back. Pull the door toward her and walk out of the break room. Walk fast, clear through the store and out the front and get in her car and race away.

But another part of her rooted her feet to the ground. It took possession of her. It was her loneliness and it was speaking for her now.

"My dad crashed his motorcycle on Friday. That's why he's not with me."