MAYBE

Chapter 14

I rise up onto my elbows. “What do you mean?”

She turns to face me and her eyes are so full of shame, she can’t even look at me without wincing. “I was trying to get back at you for letting me think So Eun was deaf.” She opens the bathroom door and looks down at her feet. “I said all that because I was mad at you, not because it’s really how I feel. I’m not falling in love with you, Amber.”

I think you’re standing on my heart, Krystal.

She glances over her shoulder into the bathroom, and then back at me. “I didn’t mean to take it that far. This is really awkward. I’m gonna go back to my room now.” She closes the door behind her.

I’m too numb to feel. Too numb to move. Too numb to process the words that just came out of her mouth. My throat hurts, my stomach hurts, my chest hurts, even my fucking lungs hurt and oh, my God, it hurts so much.

I fall back to the bed and bring two fists to my forehead.

“Hey, Amber,” she says from the doorway.

I look up at her and she still looks just as guilty. She waves her hand back and forth between us. “That whole thing that just happened? That was . . .” Her frown transforms into a shit-eating grin. “That was actually the prank!”

She runs and jumps on the bed, and begins dancing around me. “You should have seen your face!” She’s laughing and jumping, bouncing every aching part of me up and down on the bed.

I want to kill her.

She falls to her knees and leans over me, pressing her lips to mine. When she pulls back, I don’t want to kill her anymore. My whole body is miraculously healed by her smile. I feel better than I’ve ever felt. I feel stronger, more alive, happier, and somehow more in love with her than I was five minutes ago. I pull her against me. “That was a really good prank, Krystal.”

She laughs. “I know. It was the best.”

I nod. “It really was.”

I hold her for several quiet minutes, replaying the entire scene in my head. “God, you’re such a bitch.”

She laughs again. “I know. A bitch who finally met the right asshole.”

Guess who woke up in Krystal’s bed again this morning?

Me.

And guess who’ll be falling asleep in Krystal’s bed tonight?

That’s right. Me.

Both of those things are great, but not as great as this moment. Right now.

We’re both seated on the couch, and she’s lying between my legs with her head on my chest. We’re watching a movie where the actors actually stay dressed for the entire film. But it’s not really important what film it is, because Krystal’s cuddling with me.

This is a first, and it’s incredible, and I love how she makes me appreciate such simple, mundane things.

Both of us glance at the door when we hear a key being inserted into the lock. The door opens and Key walks in. I immediately sit up on the couch, because he’s supposed to be in Dallas tonight. He has a show tomorrow, and I’m positive I booked him a hotel for the right night.

Krystal sits up on the couch and looks at him. He smiles at her, but it’s a forced smile. He reaches for his back pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper. He holds it up. “This came today,” he says.

Krystal squeezes my hand and that’s when I realize he’s holding the test results. I’ve known Key long enough to know by his reaction that he’s not happy about the results. I just don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for Krystal.

“Just tell me,” she whispers.

Key looks down at his feet and then up to me. The look in his eyes is enough for Krystal to know that she’s not any closer to figuring out who her real father is than she was a few months ago.

She inhales a deep breath, and then stands up. She mutters a “thank you” to Key and begins heading toward her bedroom, but he grabs her by the arm and pulls her to him. He wraps his arms around her and gives her a hug, but in true Krystal fashion, she doesn’t allow it to last more than two seconds. She begins to cry, and I know that Krystal doesn’t want anyone to see her cry. She ducks her head and rushes to her room.

Key tosses the paper on the counter and runs his hands through his hair. “This sucks, man,” he says. “I felt like she really needed it to be true, and instead, it just adds to all the shit she’s had to deal with her whole life.”

I sigh and drop my head against the couch. “You sure about the results? There’s no way they could have messed up?”

Key shakes his head. “She’s not his daughter. And in a way, I’m happy for her because who would want him for a dad? But I know she liked the idea of finally having a little bit of closure.”

I stand up and squeeze the back of my neck. “I don’t think closure is the only thing she was hoping for.” I point to her bedroom. “I’m gonna go check on her,” I tell him. “Thanks for coming all this way to tell her.”

Key nods, and I make my way into her bedroom. She’s curled up on the far side of her bed, facing opposite from the door.

I’m not good at consoling, so I’m not sure what I can say to make her feel any better. Instead, I just climb onto the bed and scoot in behind her. I wrap my arm over her and grab her hand.

We lie like this for several minutes, and I let her get all her tears out. When it doesn’t sound like she’s crying anymore, I press a kiss into her hair.

“He would have been a horrible father, Krystal.”

She nods. “I know. I just . . .” She sucks in a rush of air. “I like it here. I feel like all of you accept me for who I am, and that’s never happened before. And now that Key knows I’m not his sister, what happens now? Do I just leave?”

I squeeze her tighter, hating that she even thinks that’s an option. “Over my and Brody’s dead bodies. No way am I letting you go anywhere.”

She laughs and wipes at her eyes. “You guys don’t have to be nice to me out of pity.”

I roll her onto her back and shake my head in confusion. “Pity? This isn’t pity, Krystal. I mean, yeah, I feel bad for you. Yeah, it might have been cool if you were their sister. But it doesn’t change anything. The only thing those test results would have changed is that you’d go from not knowing who your real father is to having one of the worst fathers in the world.” I kiss her on the forehead. “I don’t care whose sister you are, I love you the same.”

Her eyes widen, and I can feel her body stiffen in my arms. I didn’t say I was falling in love this time.

I just told her I loved her. Like, actively. And yes, those three words could probably make her flip out more than any other three words in the English language, but I can’t take it back. I won’t take it back. I love her, and I’ve loved her for months now and I’m tired of being too scared of her reaction to say it.

She begins to shake her head. “Amber . . .”

“I know,” I interject. “I said it. Get over it. I love you, Krystal.”

Her expression is void of any emotion right now. She’s absorbing it. She’s waiting to see how those words make her feel, because I’m not sure if she’s ever heard them before.

Her jaw grows tense, and she places her hands against my chest. “You’re a liar,” she snaps, attempting to roll out from under me.

Here we go again.