I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I no longer care about my health, or my happiness, or anything else. I don't even know why I'm still alive, here, breathing right now. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. The daily stress is killing me inside, and all the questions, all of the doubts, everything, it just makes me slowly slip into my old habits again.
Do you ever feel like you're losing your mind? Losing track of time and losing every single thing you've never had? Like every single string inside of you broke. And it feels like being cracked open, hurts like hell, but you in the end of the day feeling numb.
I'm faithless and tired of living through people's expectations. I can't be what they want me to be. I can't follow the system they want me to follow. And it feels like everything I do it's just another mistake.
And it breaks you, and it takes your sanity away, and it makes you feel smothered and out of your mind, running out of control. Everything I once thought in would be is falling apart. I can't take it anymore.
I'm in a mess. And I don't believe I'll ever be ok again. Sorrow is the only thing I've got left. And I live every day of my life just because I have to. Not because I want to. I'm a waste of space.
