Secrets of Adeline (Book 2)

Chapter 26: Thunder

I woke up the next morning not quite sure of how I felt. Wiping the morning grogginess from my eyes, I lean over to check my phone. I had multiple missed messages from many of my friends. Just random, pointless "hi"s and whatnot. Sighing, I click off my phone, not intending to reply until tomorrow. I just wasn't feeling today.

It wasn't one of those usual girl things where we bleed out our feelings for a week. No, it wasn't my period so if that's what your thinking, then you can shut this book right now because I don't like people like you. I wasn't sad just because nature wanted me to be. I was simply sad and didn't know why. Surely, it'll only last a day or two... Right?

I sit in bed for a while, lying and staring at the ceiling fan as it spun in circles. Round and round it went, pushing air at my tiresome face. My throat hurt and my legs were sore. Maybe I was sick.

After scrolling through my phone and pretending to not read all my friends texts, I stumbled over a picture. It was a picture of everyone hanging out and having a fun time. But where was I? They had a get together without me.

Did anyone stop to notice that maybe I wasn't there? Did it even matter if I was? All of our memories flashed between my eyes. All of our laughing and fun times... Did I not matter in those pictures? I imagine myself being absent from all the memories and yet none of them changed. It didn't make a difference if I were there or not. They didn't even care. No one told me about it because it didn't matter that I didn't go. I thought many things, none of which made me feel any better.

I decided to open Todd's text. "How was your day?" He asked. "Boring. Hbu." I typed back. Even though I wondered, what if I said it was bad? Would you want to hear that? "Good. Movies was fun!" He messaged back. That got to me. Grumbling, a sudden tingling sensation flies through my arm and before I know it, my phone smashes into my wall, the pieces shattering to the floor. I don't know why I did it, but I did. Didn't he see that I wasn't at the movies? Did it not matter to any of them that I wasn't there? Do I matter to any of them? The thoughts got worse, tormenting me. Why would they do this?

I didn't want to tell them. No, they would just feel sorry for me, like always. So I did what I do best, I kept to myself. Continuing to ignore my buzzing phone, I was furious with Malory. One of the pictures revealed a sleepover at her house. That I wasn't invited to. But who was? Maya. Someone who didn't usually hang out with us. Why was she invited but not me? Did they forget to invite me? Was she replacing me? Or did they not even care?

The thoughts got worse. I was confusing myself, even. Slouching down into my bed, I cringed at every thought. But then something hit me. I didn't want to be like this. After so far I've come, I don't want to go back to that place. That sad, sad place where I used to be. I was done being there and I couldn't go back. I wasn't a victim. But a survivor. And with that last thought, I was out of bed and in a fresh set of clothes. French braiding my hair on both sides, I slid into boots and a jacket. The world was calling for me.

I stomped down my stairs and out my front door, my dad calling from behind, "careful a storm is com-" but I cut him off by shutting the door. Zipping up my jacket and flinging up my hood, I stomped through the grassy yard, my braids bouncing. The blades of grass bent beneath my feet. I felt the storm clouds swirling in my eyes. The rain hadn't come yet, but the world seemed to spin faster. My feet seemed to carry me further. Soon, the sun was hidden behind grey swirling clouds and the sky lit up every once in a while, leaving a cracking noise to thunder through the streets. I huffed, walking faster.

And that's when the rain began to pour and the mud began to slosh with every step. The streets grew darker, the rain drops heavier. All I had for light were the street lamps. Frogs croaked and crickets chirped. Still, I walked forward. I had no idea where I was going. But I was doing it. My braids were soaked, after an hour of walking, they began to drip. I was soaked from head to toe, even with my hood on and my coat zipped up. Puddles formed everywhere, scattered about. Lighting hit the grass with a bang, thunder roaring in my ears. I jumped at the first few, but soon, I was used to it. I just kept walking. No matter how much my legs hurt, I just walked.

So there I was, alone and angry in the dark without a phone or any way to reach anyone, the only thing guiding me were my feet, which at this point seemed unstoppable. The puddles splashed up with every step, the rain slapping my arms and cheeks. I stop suddenly, right in the middle of the road. My eyes peer up through my hood, staring into the starry night. I wondered so much that night. I understand nothing no matter how smart I seem to be, I don't even understand myself.

And I stood there. I stood there for what seemed like a long time. Then, my legs began to shake. I found myself sitting in the wet grass just to the side of the road, my eyes still glaring up at the stars. I had no idea where I was and I didn't care. No cars went by, maybe it meant that the storm was too much.

A feeling washed over me. A feeling of recklessness or carelessness, I'm not sure what. But it did. I picked myself up off the ground and stomped into the center of the road. My eyes traced the center yellow line. Laying down on the pavement, I look up at the sky. Who cares if a car did come by anyways. I'd be fine.

The rain slapped at my face more violently, forcing me into a trance. My eyelids battered, consciousness slipping away. I was half asleep when I heard a car pull up beside me, a door slamming shut. Someone picked me up off the ground. I was only half conscious, the other half of me still asleep. I was in someone's arms, their steps heading towards the car. I don't know how, but I remembered everything and yet I did nothing. I didn't feel the need to. No matter who it was carrying me, I was exhausted.

Somehow, I ended up in a car. I was leaned on the window, the rearview mirror glistening back at me. The thunder roared, the rain clapping at the metal from the car. I could hear it pounding outside the vehicle. I was still soaked, my consciousness suddenly returning.

"Oh, good. Your awake." Jakes voice sounds relieved, breaking me from my trance. "Jake?" I shake my head with surprise. "Yep. It's me." He drives forward, the darkness swallowing the car. "What were you doing driving in this storm?" I ask him. "Better yet, what were you doing laying in the road in this storm?" He asks cleverly, glancing over at me every few moments. "Touché. Touché." I shrug. He won that one. "Where are we going?" I ask awkwardly. "We aren't going anywhere. I'm driving you home and then I am going to the store, like I planned." He answers brutally. "Wait, no. You can't take me home. I don't want to go home. Stop here, I'll get out here." I point to the curb. No way was I going home yet. "What? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" He shakes his head. "Do it. I want out." I press on. "Fine." He grumbles.

Turning the steering wheel, we pull gently to the side. Opening my door, my shoes hit the pavement. "Wait. How will I know you won't lay in the road again?" He stops me. "You don't. Your just going to have to trust me." I say. And with that, I shut the door with a bounce. I won that time.

Still shaking his head, he reluctantly drives off. Once he's gone, I stop pretending to know where I was going. I notice a sign a few roads ahead, it was a gas station. Jogging to it, I enter the door. "What is a little lady like you doin' outside in this nasty weather?" The store clerk asks from behind the counter. "Spending time." I ponder near all the snacks. "Say, don't think you could spare some?" The store clerk jokes. "Funny." I crow, smacking down some gummy worms onto the counter. He punches in numbers, ringing up the gummies. "That'll be 1.29$ ma'am." He sniffs. I hand him the money and grab the gummies. "Have a safe night." He calls from behind me. I nod, exiting.

My shoes squeak, the rubber growing wetter by the second. My socks sloshed, my feet chilled. And yet, I still wasn't ready to go home. It was still raining when I sat on the curb. Gummy worms squished between my teeth. I ended up counting the cars as they passed by for the rest of the night. With the alone time, came happiness and relief. And the cold, but still. The rain seemed to wash away my sadness. Or distract me, at least.