The sound of my wedding bell(s)

Marriage. Supposed to be the happiest time in a mans life. But why am i not happy? Everyone around me is singing and dancing thinking about what a bight future i have with sheena. All i could think of is how much money i lost today at the exchange. Thank god its finally time for the last ceremony at last i could get some much needed sleep. But i guess thats not gonna happen not tonight.

So here i am heading towards my room all the ceremonies finally done with. And there she is my bride looking so beautiful. The most beautiful she would ever look in her life thanks to all that expensive make up.

This is supposed to be good. I am supposed to be happy at this moment maybe even horny. But strangely i am not even though it is my first night and i am a frigging virgin. Instead my heart is beating faster and not in a good way.

Shit this sucks she expects me to say something. Even do something. But i have no idea what i should do or say. Its not like i don't know what to do and how to do it. Its just that i am kind of shocked maybe even scared. I have been so busy with my work all my life i never thought what i would do in such a condition.

I did it. I finally lost it. After so many years of abstinence. People say its supposed to feel great. I should be feeling great. But for some reason i just don't. Why instead i feel dirty kind of grossed out. All i could do is sit on the edge of this bed tired at 4 in the morning and think...

Damn this is not the woman i want to be with. This is just some woman my parents want me to be with. This isn't how i thought it would be i always imagined i would marry a woman i loved and adored. But this isn't like that this seems forced. But then all this is ultimately my fault all these years i had been so busy i never got time to find the perfect woman for me. Heck i never even tried. But what could i do now to make it all seem better. Try and fall in love with this woman?force myself to?more forcing?

Hell i have to get out of here. I know what i am gonna do now. Ill just grab my passport and tell my family i am going to america on a business trip just like i do every few months. And also to make arrangements for my bride to come there. But i wont be doing that from america i will directly fly to germany and Never come back. I don't care if its wrong. Heck i know its wrong. I am being selfish. But there is no way my family nor hers will ever allow a divorce and besides none of them could ever follow my there.

So all said and done here i am in germany. I have connections here so finding a place to stay shouldn't be hard. I have enough capital to start a small business in here something i was planning to do after my marriage. The only problem is i cant stay alone. Its not like i cant afford the rent just that i get night terrors i am scared to sleep alone and besides my apartment is too big for just one person.

So i got a roommate. Lucy. A red head about 5 feet 6 inches Incredibly hot paid half the rent plus thanks to her company i don't run around like crazy in the middle of the night. I think i am falling for her. I mean she is the only woman who made me feel like i am feeling since that girl in school. Dammit maybe i should ask her out.

She agreed to go out with me. Hope i don't screw this up. The date is going pretty good so far maybe after a few more dates ill ask her to move in with me. Wait she already stays with me. Maybe i should proposition her. Or maybe not so early. Dammit this love thingy is so confusing seems like i am taking an algebra test and wondering wether i should copy my neighbor's

answers or not?

Months have passed and finally we are doing almost everywhere every day. Damn this feels good just the way its supposed to. Maybe i should ask her to marry me. I am already married but she doesn't know that. She doesn't need to.

Even more months have passed. And i am happily married. Happy? Barely. I just found myself in the same place i was a year back. Sitting on the edge of my bed i still wonder if this is the right woman? The answer seems clear. Shes not. Or maybe she is and i am the faulty one a man who is never satisfied. Am i cursed? Whatever it maybe i just have to get out of this and a divorce seems the only way.

The divorce happened. And she wen her own way. With half my money plus my night terrors are coming back. Right now i am just much poorer than i was when i came here in more ways than one. But what do i do now? Go back to my family? My first wife? What do i say? I cant just go back after disappearing for so long. Dammit sitting on this bench thinking about my past i feel like that gump dude. The only difference is that i have no one to to talk to there is no one in sight. Except for this couple walking down the foot path. A young muscular man and a very pretty woman. Wait a second i think i know that woman. Dammit she is my first wife.

AUTHORS NOTES:

1)This is the first time i have written something.

2)Please comment and tell me if it is good or not

3)Also i really need some writing tips

4)I typed this whole story in 30mins at 4 in the morning on my ipod so there are bound to be spelling and grammatical mistakes

5)This story is inspired by this nightmare i had

6)No i am not british

7)Many things are left ambiguous on purpose because i wanted the reader to guess/imagine most of the story and because i was sleepy :p

8)I dont mean to hurt anybodies feelings

9)Thanks for reading and commenting :)

10)Yes the title sucks suggest a good title.