It had been 2 weeks since my breakdown and I was still avoiding the guys. And that was hard because they were here almost 24/7. They had gone into the city a couple times for recording but most of their time was spent in the basement. I stayed in my room most of the time. Doodling in my sketch book and doing random things on the internet is how I occupied my time. I never went out with the guys because there were already pictures of us from that one day and I didn’t want to be the subject of any rumors. Most of my time on the internet was spent on tumblr, but I did use Facebook to keep up with old friends. So one day when I was on there I saw that HE was online.
I should probably explain who HE is. His name is Ryan Adams and he’s my ex-boyfriend. Correction, he was my first and only boyfriend. We dated through most of sophomore year, but I had a crush on him all of freshman year. He didn’t even know I existed until May of freshman year when Jenna dragged me out to an end-of-the-year pool party. He was there, since he’s at every party. We ended up hanging out and by the end of the night he asked me out. We went on dates throughout summer and about a week before sophomore year started he asked me to be his girlfriend. We were the ‘it’ couple - for the first couple of months.
By Christmas time he was going to all kinds of parties without me, and wouldn’t tell me anything that happened there, and when I saw him the next day he was almost always hung over. I told myself it was just a phase and that he’d stop eventually. But he didn’t. It was mid-march when he told me he cheated. But I highly doubt it was the first time.
A ding from my computer pulled me out of my memories. My eyes went to the top of my screen where *New Message From Ryan* was flashing. I clicked it and read what he sent.
Ryan: *Hey, how’s England. I heard it’s rainy up there.*
Me: *Why do you care?*
Ryan: *Well I saw some pictures of you and a bunch of guys so I just wanted to check on you.*
Me: *What, are you jealous now?*
Ryan: *How could I be jealous? I bet none of those guys actually like you. I know nobody who actually does.*
Me: *You used to.*
Ryan: You’re pathetic. That was a bet.
I pushed my laptop away from me. A bet? Really? Is that all he thought of me? Just some thing he could manipulate. The tears began falling down my face again. I got up from my bed and turned the corner into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I locked it before sliding onto the sink counter. I opened the drawer next to me and pulled out the thin blade. I turned it over and over in my fingers before placing it on my wrist and making a fast swipe across my skin. Just as the blood began to gather I heard a fist pound on the wall next to me.
Niall’s POV
I was in the kitchen getting some more chips when I heard a door slam from upstairs. I went upstairs to see what was going on but got distracted when I heard a ding come from Loren’s room. I looked in her room to see her computer sitting on her bed, but she was no where to be found. I saw a facebook chat open on her desktop and couldn’t help but read it. It was with some guy named Ryan. Who the hell is Ryan? From her messages, she didn’t seem too happy to be talking to him. As I read my hand clenched into a fist. I hit the wall in frustration as I read his last message.
Ryan: *We were trying to see how long I could string you along. Really Loren? A year? Why did you think anyone would ever love you voluntarily?*
I barely heard the small gasp come from the room next to me. Realizing it was the bathroom I figured out who must be in there. And what she must be doing. I jumped off Loren’s bed and turned the corner to the bathroom. I tried to open the door but realizing it was locked I knocked on it and said “Loren, please open the door.”
“I know what you’re doing, and I want you to stop . . . I need you to stop. Please, I know why you’re doing it and that jerk isn’t worth it.” I heard the click from the door being unlocked and I slowly turned the knob, opening the door.
The first thing I saw was her knee, but as my eyes moved over her I saw her holding her hand over her left wrist, a tiny bit of blood on her fingers. I slid in the bathroom so I was standing in front of her and closed the door. I placed my hands on hers and she winced slightly as I wrapped my fingers around her wrist. She relaxed and allowed me to remove her hand from her wrist. I bit my lip when I saw the bleeding cut on her wrist. I reached over and turned on the cold water on the sink. Lightly pulling her arm I guided her wrist under the cool stream of water allowing it to clean off the blood. I took her other hand in mine and held it under the water as well slightly rubbing the blood off. I took a towel from under the sink and dabbed her skin dry. I took a bandage from the drawer and unwrapped it. I lifted her wrist to my mouth and placed a light kiss on it before placing the bandage over it.
For the first time since I entered the bathroom I looked at her face and saw that she was crying. The tears were streaming down and staining her face. I wiped off the tears that were settled on her cheeks as her breath grew even more uneven. She was shaking and taking short, sharp breathes. I pulled her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her. I felt her nestle her head into the nook of my neck and her breath slowly evened out.
I took her arms and placed them around my neck before pulling her legs around my waist. I picked her up from the counter and walked out the bathroom back to her room. I placed her on the bed and took her computer and shut it off, deleting the chat log before she could see it. I placed the covers over her and began to walk away until I felt her hand grab my wrist. She didn’t see anything but I saw the plea in her eyes.
She scooted over in the bed as I walked back towards her. I laid on the bed next to her, me on top of the covers and her under them. She laid her head on my chest and was asleep within a few minutes. I brushed her hair away from her face and a couple minutes later I was asleep as well.
