Monday, 11th April 2016. Dear journal, I'm writing this in the bathroom stall. This time no one is waiting for me. Everyone has gone home, so really, it doesn't make sense as to why I'm hiding in here, but I guess it's a little safe haven to me. It's not gross, I promise you.
I haven't spoken much to anyone since Riley left two weeks ago, and I don't think he'd be very impressed with me for being distant with Wren and Hunter (I'm still speaking to them, but only in school, and not for very long.) I hope they don't think of it as a personal thing, because really, it's not. I am glad to have them back in my life, but things are starting to get bad again, and I don't think they could handle it. I'm now on mediocre antidepressants, which to be honest, taste like crap, and make me sleepy.
Speaking of which, I've started to regrettably ignore the anonymous text messages. They're still on my phone, but I thought it would be best if I left them alone for a while.
I really do miss Riley, more than I thought I would. I've listened to the vinyl almost every night since he gave it to me. I could rip this entry out and mail it to him, but 1) I don't know his new home address and 2) it would spoil the aesthetic of the book. Riley did text me as soon as he arrived; He's absolutely fine, and enjoying the time left with his grandma. He's even making new friends! I'll need to call them and apologise for his Little Britain impressions. It's not that I hate Little Britain, but the impressions could be improved.
I apologise for changing subjects every paragraph. I asked my English teacher, and he told me I needed to separate my ideas this way. Speaking of English, I got a C on the speaking assessment! I'm quite proud of this, as last time I got a huge, ugly F splat across my name. I didn't have a panic attack this time either. I think that has something to do with Wren smiling at me from the back of the classroom, or Rain's voice echoing in my head, "8 in, 4 out." I think I'll thank Wren later.
I still haven't explained why I'm writing this in the bathroom.
I noticed something.
But I guess it can wait. -AJ.
🌿 🌿 🌿
I closed the journal tightly, sliding it between my school planner and my copy of Catcher In The Rye, which Wren had borrowed me for my final exam studies.
Additionally, I was almost going to place back my fountain pen, when my eyes drew to the worn, smudged message etched into the wall. Peculiarly, I hadn't seen it before, despite the fact it had clearly been on the wall for long while. It simply read:
"I miss you so much. -Anonymous Friend Xx."
A large sigh escaped my lips. I no longer felt my fingers tingle. The spark in my heart was gone, and maybe I just needed someone to ignite it. My eyes rolled. Fuck it, I thought, I can't ignore her like this forever.
As deluded as it may sound, I just think I was slowly falling in love with the sound of their words. It killed me to ignore them any longer. I slipped my phone from my pocket, and began to type:
To: Anonymous Friend💓 From: Alana James💓
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