Love Lessons (Marina Diamandis)

Chapter Twenty

Don't forget me, don't forget me
I wouldn't leave you if you'd let me

With Jennifer's best friend knowing about us, it's barely impossible to go to her house again. He is always around, following the blonde like a little dog. It makes everything harder for us, but at the same time, I would rather not be near that woman again. Seeing Marina becomes a rare thing, and when I do, we are never alone. She seems less happy every time I see her, and it's gotten to a point where she comes to me mainly to cry and let everything out. It sickens me that she can't simply leave that woman, but whenever I ask her about when she's going to get the divorce, she changes the subject. I have let it slip once or twice, but I'm not sure if I would take it one more time.

Marina has recently told me about how she thinks Jennifer is catching up on us. She asks so many questions about me that Marina had to stop telling her that she was going to visit me - which allowed us to meet at any time that we were both free - and has got to start making up excuses. It has limited us by much, but here's the thing: Marina is clearly not happy with her marriage, and if her wife knew she has been cheating, she probably would want to end things with her, which is exactly what she wants. I don't know how big of an issue would it be that she found out, however, the Greek seems to care.

I haven't been able to explain to my mother what is really going on, or why Marina is still coming over, yet not as much as before, but at least she hasn't made any comments like she used to. Regardless of how hard this situation can be, it's nothing compared to when we were not together, so, I guess I'll have to deal with it. I won't lie, I miss what we had, of course I want that back, I don't want to settle for this for the rest of my life. The only thing I have learned from this, is that maybe - and just maybe - I am something more than just a sex toy for her, as I once feared. If it were to be like that, she would have left a long time ago.

This morning, I finally wake up next to her. It feels very bittersweet, because even though I am getting what I want, it's only happening because her wife is away. I hate it, and I hate that she refuses to leave her, it hurts me with each day that goes by. Still, I do my best to not think about that. A part of me thinks I should be thankful for having her in my life, and I am, but the other can't stop thinking that she will never leave her and I am doomed to be the other woman. Maybe I am.

"Why do you never wear the ring?" I ask as I play with her fingers. It's a thing that has intrigued me since the night I discovered she was married. I have to admit that it has ceased to bother me the way it did before, and I wouldn't want to say I am getting used to it, I definitely don't want to get to that point, but knowing that she is still with me has its way to make everything more bearable.

"I told her I lost it, but the truth is that I just don't want to. She doesn't wear it either, so... It's better this way."

"Right, it would scare your girls away." She rolls her eyes at me and smiles.

"Oh, shut up." Her face is so close to mine that I can't not kiss her. As our lips collide, I wrap my arms around her naked body and pull her closer to me. When she pulls away from the kiss, her face stays close to mine. She looks into my eyes with the most charming smile, making my heart melt. I am completely in love with her, to the point I'd do anything to make her happy. I want her all for me, I want this every morning for the rest of my life. Is that too selfish of me?

"Marina?" I ask in a serious tone. She seems confused by the sudden change. "Can you be completely honest with me?"

"I always am." I almost instantly burst into laughter. She rolls her eyes at me once again. "Fine, I deserve that. Yes, what do you want to know?"